


Not Your Fault

by hanktalkin, Thanatoaster



Category: Team Fortress 2
Genre: Betrayal, Canon-Typical Violence, Crossfaction, Espionage, Friends to Enemies, Homophobic Language, M/M, Mann vs. Machine, Post WAR!, Reconciliation, Rescue, Robots, Self-Harm, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-10
Updated: 2016-11-03
Packaged: 2018-08-14 06:23:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 55,172
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8001787
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hanktalkin/pseuds/hanktalkin, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thanatoaster/pseuds/Thanatoaster
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The war between RED and BLU is over, and the WAR! between the Demoman and Soldier is long buried in the past. But Mann Co. is still threatened by hordes of robots, hell bent on wiping it off  the face of New Mexico. So, Saxton Hale has done what any sensible buissness man would: re-hired a bunch of ex REDs and BLUs to defend his company.</p><p>But it was a mistake.</p><p>You can't ask two people who've killed each other time and time again to be teammates. You can't have two former friends forget exactly what they've done.</p><p>At least...</p><p>You can't if you want to keep all your dirty little secrets locked up.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This began as an RP between me and YourChickenMan, and eventually morphed into a fully fledged fic. Combining our powers, we have made the longest Demosolly fic known to man!
> 
> Hope ya'll enjoy!

“…This isn’t like any other assignment you’ve been given,” Pauling continued to her rapt audience of assorted mercenaries and killers. “It’s much, much more serious. This isn’t just a fight for Mann Co., or Saxton Hale.” She paused, letting the weight of her words seep into their cores, her glasses flashing white. “It’s a fight for your jobs.”

There are grins, some sadistic, some gleeful, others hidden behind a layer of asbestos. All eager.

“The first wave arrives in eight hours. Good luck. You’ll need it.”

With that, Pauling turns off the little TV, leaving the mercenaries to prepare. There isn’t one among them who’s afraid. After all, killing is what they do best.

The ex-BLU Soldier stood at attention until the message ended, and then took a moment to assess his new team. Much like himself they were all weighed down by backpacks and duffel bags full of their worldly possessions, as they'd been transported to this new base only days after being let go by RED and BLU. The other members from his team that had taken the job were the Medic, Pyro, and Spy. They were outnumbered by those from RED, with the Heavy, Scout, Engineer, and Sniper filling out the rest of the team. And of course, the RED Demoman was there too.

To say the Soldier was tense would be an understatement. He had refused to look at the Demo through their entire journey and arrival to the base, but he could feel his presence around him like a vice. The War had been many years ago now, but the two had been more brutal and merciless towards each other ever since. How was he supposed to work with someone he hated with such a passion, and that hated him back in turn?

He let out a quiet grumble and turned away from his new team before anyone else, intent on finding his new room and avoiding awkward conversation. It wasn't hard to find, only just past the mess hall, so he stepped inside and dumped his pack on the small, metal-framed bed. Opening the closet to start unpacking, he froze. Jane knew it was coming, Pauling had told them as much, but seeing the many sets of red, not blue, uniforms in the closet threw him for a loop.

He supposed it made sense. They were all one team now, and the Engineer's sentries needed to know who to shoot, but something about changing the color of his uniform felt like a betrayal. The job was more important though, and he figured wearing a different coloured uniform wasn't as bad as not getting to fight hordes and hordes of bloodthirsty robots.

* * *

Not RED but red.

That was the most coherent thought that passed through the Demoman’s mind at the current moment. Eight hours was a long time, and, doing some math, he found he only needed two to become drunk enough to aim properly. So he figured he’d only have the one scrumpy now, and down the rest in another six. That plan had some rather large holes.

The empty bottles surrounded him, seeming to lean in threateningly, and aggravating his already pounding hangover. He had the feeling he was supposed to be doing something right now, but what he couldn’t say. He couldn’t say much of anything, actually, the mid-morning daylight illuminating his room despite the threadbare curtains. Two pillows directly over his face and it was still too bright.

Draining his entire booze stash over the course of three hours was stupid for two reasons. One: the aforementioned hangover. And two: he no longer had anything in reserve. The scrumpy was supposed to tide him over until their next supply drop, and, now that he started to think about it, he had no idea how long that was expected to be. This wouldn’t be like the neat and orderly war he had fought in for the past four years where he could pop out the drug store on the weekend and resupply: they would expect him to stay here, and they would expect him to fight.

How he was going to get anything done sober? Mann Co. made him pay for his own weapons for Christ’s sake; there was no way he could get them to supply him some alcohol, no matter how much he insisted it helped him fight.

At the time, it had seemed like a good idea.

Alright, maybe not a good idea, but the only one that would help him through a miserable fucking morning. What in God’s name had possessed Mann Co. to reach out to the former BLUs for help? Didn’t they know that RED had won the war? They’d pushed a dead body into hell, and that was about as victorious as they came.

That fact didn’t seem to matter, and the BLUs had shown up, much to Tavish’s surprise and disgust. He hated BLU team, just like everyone should. But of all the BLUs to show up…

 _He_ was here.

The BLU Soldier. The fucking traitor who wore those fucking shoes even dressed down to civilian clothes. The sight of him—standing within arms reach without a steel grate to keep them from killing each other—was enough to make Tavish need every bottle of scrumpy in the world.

Blue but not BLU.

The Demoman closed his eye. A nap was the only thing that would improve this situation.

-

It had already been late when they arrived at the base, so after unpacking the Soldier decided to sleep for a few hours to well rested for the fight the next morning. He woke up at 6 per usual, and dropped to the floor for a quick set of push-ups before getting ready for the day.

He put on his new uniform piece by piece. The fabric was stiff, not broken in like his old ones, and the bright red almost seemed to burn his eyes. The uniform wasn't uncomfortable though, even if he wanted it to be.

With a few hours left until the team's first mission, Jane decided to head into the kitchen for some breakfast. A few members of the team were already there, though he suspected none of them had actually slept.

“Morning men!” He hollered to them. “I hope you maggots are ready to kick some robot ass!”

His words were met with nothing but quiet agreement. Not the enthusiasm he was looking for, but he supposed it was a bit early for most people to be as energetic as himself. Since they had yet to figure out a cooking schedule, Jane was left to fend for himself, leading to a breakfast of canned pork and beans with a side of scrambled eggs.

He sat down at the table with the other mercs and started to eat, trading small talk for larger forkfuls of food.

* * *

Demoman woke with a start. The banging on his door rattled every bit of sparse furniture in his room, making him glad his hangover had subsided to a dull ache. He only tripped twice on his way to the door, sending the empty bottles skittering. When he finally wrenched open the bloody thing he was only greeted with, “Hey, hey, cool man, you’re up,” before Scout skidded down the hall to the next room. Any ornery call he might had have slung after the younger man dissipated, replaced by the want to crawl back into bed, and the even greater need to get his gear moving.

Pulling on a fresh uniform, he stumbled into the spawn room, the place having suffered a considerable makeover to any spawn room Demo had ever seen. It had what looked like a shoppe built right into the wall, ammo and sample weapons hanging on display. Pauling explained it was their upgrade station, where they would spend their robot killing money on new, experimental tech. Frankly, Demo thought it looked tacky as hell.

Even as Pauling spoke, Demo felt the need to nod off. The rest of the team seemed awake enough, but from what he heard, _they_ had at least eaten breakfast. His tummy rumbled, and he chided himself once again for his stupid drunken decision.

Soldier entered the spawn room, and, on instinct, Demo gave him a half-hearted grin.

As Soldier’s eyes widened in shock, Demo realized his mistake. Despite the crimson uniform and dark grey helm, this wasn’t the RED Soldier. He was a bastard in sheep’s clothing, a slight hangover and a maroon illusion making Demo momentarily forget that. He immediately narrowed his eye, just to make sure that the BLU didn’t think he had forgotten the War.

Jane grimaced, squaring his shoulders and walking past the Demoman towards the weapons display. Jane could still feel the other man's eye on him, but opted to just ignore it. Examining the assortment of weapons he decided to stick with a trusty rocket launcher, using his start money to upgrade the clip size. More rockets = more explosions = more destroyed robots.

“ _Herr_ Soldier,” The Medic piped up next to him, drawing his attention. Jane felt strange seeing his old teammate also wearing red. “Are you sure you should be wearing those?”

He followed the man's gaze to his gunboats, ever present on his feet.

“What's the problem, nurse? I earned these boots fair and square, I ain't giving them back,” he growled.

“I'm not saying get rid of them, but they are very large and clunky, you can't carry your shotgun when you wear those.”

“I don't need my shotgun.”

“Soldier we are fighting hordes of robots, not one on one. You need weapons that do greater damage, not increase your rocket jumping abilities.”

Jane scowled. He hadn't worn any other boots to battle since receiving the gunboats. They were symbolic of that war, they represented all the times he had killed Tavish, they acted as a reminder of what a traitor he was.

“Negatory. I will kill these robots and I will do it with nothing but my entrenching tool if the need be,” he boasted, nodding confidently.

The Medic sighed, mumbling something in German.

“I'm going to see if the Demoman needs kritz for his sticky traps. Don't waste all your money on stupid upgrades.” With that said he ran off, leaving Jane alone. He was suddenly painfully aware of how uncomfortable the boots were.

Despite himself, Demo was eager to get a good look at his new adversaries. Hale had had said something about them being equal or greater to their human counterparts, but it was difficult for Demo to believe that any robot could lob a bomb half as good as himself.

He stood in front of the gate, supposedly to lay down some sticky traps, but in reality just taking a moment to absorb the magnitude of it all. What sort or monstrous creature needed a door that big? He shook his head to clear it, and considered the best spot to place the first stickies. Just as he was about to pop one onto the ground, he was interrupted by a nasal accent.

“Wait a moment if you please, _Herr_ Demoman.”

The BLU Medic strutted from the direction of spawn, carrying his Kritzkrieg and looking indistinguishable from his RED counterpart. Looking at him, Demo couldn’t help but think back to his drunken moment of enlightenment, wondering just how deep RED and BLU were ingrained in his teammates. The notion didn’t seem as profound now that he was sober.

Before Demo could even ask what the doctor wanted, Medic strolled right up and placed the medibeam on him.

He jumped, expecting some sort of reaction, but the red glow from the medigun merely sent tickles along his spine. The familiar bubbles of overheal coursed through him, and he eyed the gun sceptically.

“So that thing works on anyone then?”

“Of course,” Medic said flippantly. “I would not be much use here if I could only heal three of my teammates.”

Teammates. Now there’s a word.

The Kritzkrieg gave a fast couple of clicks, letting the user know it was ready to charge. Medic motioned toward the gate, and Demo got the picture. Soon all eight stickies glittered with critical malice as they waited for their metal victims. Medic nodded triumphantly.

“ _Wunderbar_. If you don’t mind, I will stick near you during battle. I feel that is from where I can rein the most destruction.”

“Actually, I do mind,” Demo started. “Why are you bein’ so casual about this? If you think a couple o’ pocketin’ hours are goin’ take make me volunteer tae go under the needle, you can take your kritz and shove ‘em up your-”

“Please,” Medic said, holding up a hand. “Do not be so dramatic. I am merely here to do my job same as you. I am perfectly willing to let bygones be bygones, as the case may be.”

Demo ran his tongue over his teeth, judging the sincerity of the doctor’s words.

“That’s it? A couple o’ promises o’ new weapons and you’re willin’ tae drop everythin’ and join RED?”

“Oh please,” Medic scoffed. “This is not RED team, this is merely a red team. RED is gone, as is any cosmetic differences that might have made us enemies. Besides,” he said with almost a leer, “Medics are supposed to operate without borders, _ja_?”

Somehow, the fact that Medic had very little team loyalty didn’t surprise the Demoman. RED’s Medic would probably be the same. But the sentiment of red over RED echoed Demo’s earlier thoughts, and he decided to relent.

“Fine, I’ll be your bloody pocket. But,” he said, shaking a lone finger at the doctor, “I expect you tae stay behind me at all times and don’t get yourself blown tae confetti.”

Medic smiled creepily. “Do not worry _Herr_ Demoman. I have gotten very good at staying alive.”

That was as close as Demo would get. The two of them took their place above the street, and readied for the coming wave.

* * *

When Jane finished upgrading his equipment he left the spawnroom, stepping out into the sun. It was a hot day, dry too. Dust kicked up behind the Scout as he ran laps around the various abandoned buildings, swinging his bat at imaginary enemies.

In the area between the two spawn buildings the Engineer had already set up a teleporter. Jane wandered up to it cautiously, slightly worried the RED machine might scramble up his BLU DNA. He was going to have to use it sooner or later, and might as well start now.

He stepped on the glowing platform and immediately reappeared on the top of a building in the center of the map. He gave himself a quick once-over, and was relieved that all his limbs and important parts seemed to be intact. The Engineer was hammering away at his sentry, but turned to Jane when he heard the telltale noise of someone coming through the teleporter. He seemed to analyze Jane for a moment, even though he couldn't see the Texan's eyes giving him a once-over.

“Mornin’, Soldier,” he said with a nod, before turning back to his machines.

Soldier nodded back before aiming his rocket launcher to the ground, and flinging himself across to the next building. There were some large ammo packs there, and he had good high-ground over where the robots would be entering. He could see the massive blue transporter from here as well. _Something that big must have a lot of robots_ , he thought. His trigger finger twitched in anticipation.

All of the sudden, his attention was pulled by movement across the way. The Medic and Demoman were there, they had laid down some glowing sticky bombs and seemed to be discussing strategy. Jane didn't like this, the Medic was _his_ teammate, he shouldn't be hanging out with the RED Demoman of all people.

“Medic!” he cried out, having sustained some damage from his rocket jumping journey over. “Come 'ere cupcake!”

The Medic ran over at his call, stopping at the bottom of the building and aiming his medigun up at the Soldier. The warm feeling of the medigun was a welcome relief, and soon he began to tingle with overheal. As soon as he was maxed out however, the Medic broke the beam, turning around and running back to the Demo.

Jane's grip on his launcher tightened. Why was the Medic pocketing the Demoman? Not only was he not BLU, but he could not be trusted. He was a backstabbing coward and a traitor, Jane knew as much from experience.

There wasn't much he could do about it at the moment though, as a countdown had started to echo over the battlefield.

“10... 9... 8... 7... 6...”

Jane jumped up onto the ledge surrounding the roof, trying to get a better view of the robot carrier.

“5... 4... 3...”

With a gush of steam the door on the carrier opened, Jane aimed his rocket launcher.

“2... 1...”

And just like that, robots started pouring out. Cheers erupted from the rest of the team, and Jane laughed along with them. This was definitely going to be quite a ride.

He wasn’t the only one excited.

No matter what he did, Demo’s stickies always hit something, just because there were so many of the things. He’d lob them left and right and the bloody clankers just kept coming. All there was to do was blow them to bits, time after time, with little regard for strategy or subtlety. The only thing to fear was running out ammo.

Which, in due time, he did.

He and Medic had crammed themselves on the center building, now unoccupied that Engie had moved down the ground floor. The huge ammo crate would spawn any second, if only he could…

“We need to get moving, Demoman,” Medic yelled, trying to be heard over the sounds of battle.

The fourth wave was in full swing, bringing the giant demobots down on their heads. They were more unsettling than Demo thought they would be, the single glowing eye in the center of their heads crossing a line into uncanny valley. Not that Demo wasn’t used to fighting things that looked just like him, but something about the robots twisted his gut.

“Just a few more minutes,” he pleaded. “It can’t have been that long…”

“We need this,” Medic said, shaking the fully charged Kritzkrieg, “to take down those.” He jerked his thumb back toward the demobots. “And if we die on this roof, I will _lose it_.”

“I ken! But I-”

A live grenade landed on the roof.

“Run!” Medic shouted.

He didn’t wait for Demo to give a response, grabbing him by the arm like he thought the Scotsman couldn’t run on his own. They sprinted to edge of the roof, and saw the string of scoutbots still below them.

“Damn,” Demo muttered.

He looked back in time to see Heavy distract the giant robot, pulling it off the roof. And, to his wondering eye, the ammo pack blinked into existence.

“Medic,” he said, yanking the doctor’s arm.

He looked at Medic, about to tell him they could head back. But, as the doctor turned to him, he noticed something on his forehead.

A little blue dot.

Demo didn’t hesitate, shoving Medic forward, a direction that happened to be off the roof. The Demoman didn’t even have time to consider the consequences of his action before his world went black.

The black was quickly replaced by the white of the respawn room. He was just about to locate the teleporter and rush back out into the fray when the Administrator’s voice called out “Wave complete!” The lights in the upgrade station blinked on.

“Well then.”

Still a little disorientated, he made his way to the shoppe. He spent every single dollar on capacity upgrades.


	2. Chapter 2

The Soldier had been the one to end the wave, jumping across the field to cut down the last straggling sniperbot. When the Administrator's voice rang out across the field, he was finally able to relax. Killing robots was fun, but stressful.

Walking back to respawn, he found the Medic sitting next to the large building, healing himself slowly. Jane had been keeping close track of the Demo and Medic, and had seen what had happened moments before.

“You alright, nurse?” he questioned, stopping in front of the man.

“ _Ja_ , _danke_ Soldier.” The German responded, staggering to his feet when his health returned from critical levels. The Medic joined Soldier in walking back to respawn. They watched Scout run by, whooping about the large sack of money slung over his shoulders.

“You should stay away from the Demoman,” Jane stated. “He's not even looking out for you. He shoved you off the roof!”

The Medic just rolled his eyes. “He _was_ looking out for me. I didn't notice it until too late but there was a sniper. He saved my life.”

“ ** _I_** saved your life! I'm the one that killed the sniper!”

“Yes, but had the Demo not pushed me I would have been killed before you got there. Let's just say it was a team effort.”

The word team hit Jane in the gut like a punch. “We are _not_ a team!” he yelled. “I would never team up with that bastard!”

“Soldier,” The Medic sighed. “There is no RED and BLU anymore. We _are_ a team. I know that the two of you had some issues with the War and everything…but surely you are able to be civil for the sake of work?”

If Jane's facial expression was an answer, it would be a no.

“I don't trust him. I don't care what you say, he's just out for himself, he just wants whatever gets him the most money or…reward.” Memories of the Eyelander ending his life, time and time again, flashed through his mind. That stupid old sword was apparently enough to kill him for. “Can't you just pocket the Heavy or something? You were practically glued to him on BLU team.”

“ _Ja_ …” Medic mumbled. “but so was the RED Medic. They were close. I'm not sure if this Heavy would be comfortable with me taking his place so quickly.”

“Then come with me!”

“Soldier, you and me both know you will just get me killed.”

Jane let out an angry noise and stomped ahead of the Medic, not having any more patience for his nonsense. He rounded the corner into respawn and immediately stopped. The Demo was there, and the two made eye contact.

He thought about just turning around and walking to the other respawn, but he was no coward. Instead, he squared his shoulders and marched forward, only stopping when he was right in front of the Demo.

“Don't mess with my team,” he said in a low voice, jabbing a finger into his chest. “Mess with my team, and I WILL kill you.”

Demo didn’t know what the hell Soldier was talking about. He had been careful not to pick a fight, even with four of his teammates being former BLUs. Any rage he might have felt was suppressed under a layer of confusion, further increased by the post-respawn daze. And so, he chose to respond to the second half of Soldier’s statement in the only way he knew how.

“Tall words for a man who’s bottom scorin’.”

The Soldier grit his teeth, and could feel blood rushing to his head. He spared a quick glance to the scoreboard, confirming that he was indeed at the bottom, and it seemed the Demo himself was at the top.

“Damn Cyclops!” He growled. “I'd like to see you kill half that many robots without a Kritzkrieg shoved up your ass! I was taking it easy, I don't need no silly nurse to carry me up the scoreboard.”

“Taking it easy? Is that what you call gettin’ killed twice a round?”

Demo folded his arms over his chest and smirked. He no longer flinched at the name Cyclops, no matter how much it still stung. That was important. He couldn’t let Soldier affect him. He couldn’t let his ex-friend see how much his words still mattered.

Jane's face was getting redder by the second, he wore his emotions on his sleeve and it was easy to see he was absolutely furious. Some of the others in the room seemed to be a bit worried about the exchange, but currently did nothing more than watch them.

“At least I was out there fighting! Not hiding behind a wall throwing grenades like a damn pansy coward! A real man fights head on, not that you'd know anything about being a _real_ man.”  
Tavish should have known this was coming from the moment that grey helmet bobbled onto the bus. Nothing had changed, RED not red, BLU not blue.  
“Oh I’m a man alright,” Tavish boasted. “The DeGroots come from o’ kings and beastkillers, blowin’ things up when your family was still pullin’ turnips out o’ the dirt. Both _my_ names belong to a man, first _and_ last.”

It was a low blow, one that hurt Jane more than any type of physical hit. It felt like a hand was wrapped around his heart, squeezing it tightly. The RED Demo was the only person that knew his real name, he'd shared it with the Scott one evening after they had been friends for a few months. He'd laughed at first, thinking it was a joke, but quickly stopped when he realized the Soldier was being serious. He'd never made fun of him for his name, they had teased each other often about all sorts of things, but the fact that “Jane” was feminine wasn’t one of them.

This was the first time Demo had ever used it to hurt him.

At least he hasn't said the name out loud, and their audience was ignorant to the actual depth of the jab, saving Jane a whole other level of humiliation.

“I don't need to prove myself to someone like you,” he said coldly, only barely keeping his voice from shaking. He wanted to leave, but retreat was never an option. He stood his ground, waiting for the man to exit so he could pick up his own upgrades.

Despite his apparent victory, Tavish didn’t feel like he had won anything. The taunt had affected Soldier exactly as he thought it would: a personal attack that hit home, and Tavish felt like shit for doing it.

“O’ course,” Tavish replied with mock sincerity. “After all, you dunnae have tae prove anything when the numbers are all right here.”

He kicked himself as the words came out. Why was he doing this? He didn’t want to stand here and sling abuses any more than he wanted to be battered by a hundred scoutbots. He just couldn’t help himself. So, instead of standing aside and letting the other man pass, he let his pride open and close his mouth like a puppet.

“And I dunnae need a bloody pocket tae kick your sorry ass across the map. See you at the bottom, BLU. Until then, stay out of me way.”

He shoved past, letting his shoulder knock against Soldier’s on the way out.

Jane was silent as the Demoman walked out. He glanced around, the Sniper, Engineer and Heavy were all staring at him.

“What are you looking at maggots? Get back to work!” The three scooted out of the base as Jane waved his shovel at them.

Finally alone, Jane gave himself a minute to cool down, rubbing the sweat off his face and taking a few deep breaths. Despite what he said, he did feel the need to prove the Demoman wrong, and spent an extra long time looking over the upgrades. Eventually he picked a combination of upgrades based on what he'd learned the previous round.

The countdown had already started, and he ran over to the teleporter, the last thing he wanted was anyone thinking he was hiding from the fight. This time he set up position in the middle of the road, intent on killing as many robots as possible without anyone else even getting a shot in. The countdown finished, and Jane let loose the first wave of rockets.

* * *

“You’re being an idiot.”

“Shove off, Doc.”

“You really are going to put a stupid, three year old competition over destroying a horde of robots that are trying to kill us all?”

“I _am_ goin’ tae be destroyin’ a horde o’ robots, that’s the whole point.”

“Yes, but not _efficiently_.”

“Go pocket Heavy if you’re goin’ tae be a stuck up princess about it.”

Medic made a face, causing his round little glasses to rise on his nose. Demo immediately regretted his words. Medic was not a person you wanted to piss off, not only to keep the medibeam flowing, but to avoid ending up on the doctor’s slab. Sighing, Demo dropped his defences.

“Sorry. Soldier’s got me all riled up. I just…need tae do this, you ken? Let me prove I can kick his ass any day o’ the week, and then we can work together next round. Aye?”

“ _Dummkopf_.”

“I ken.”

“Fine. I will see you next round.”

In a strange turn of events, Demo found himself forgetting more and more that the Medic wasn’t his own. The thought was unsettling for him, even if Medic didn’t seem to give a rat’s ass.

He had almost made it to the front of the battlefield when, as though summoned by his thoughts, he witnessed the strangest thing he had seen all day. Sniper was sitting on the roof above him. And, as though hell was particularly chilly that morning, he was talking to Spy.

Demo’s mouth hung open in shock. Was everyone losing their bloody minds? He found the stairs and stomped up, getting a firsthand view of the situation. His eye hadn’t betrayed him: Sniper was calmly chatting with a man he very well knew to be the BLU Spy.

“Sniper,” Demo growled, asserting his presence even though both mercenaries realized he was there.

“I see you have other guests to entertain,” Spy said, taking a step back from the wall. “ _Au Revoir_.” The Frenchman disappeared in a cloud of smoke instead of taking the stairs like a normal person.

“See ya,” Sniper called back.

“What the hell are you doing?” Demo demanded, knowing full well that Spy could still be hanging around. “You ken that’s the BLU Spy, don’t you?”

Sniper shrugged. “Hard to tell.”

“Hard to…hard to tell?? Sniper, you hate him. You hate him with a burning passion. You tell me that all the bloody time!”

Sniper shrugged again. “Doesn’t matter much anymore, does it? Besides, once you get to know him, he’s not that much different from our own Spook.”

“Is that it? You miss Spy and you try to replace him with some BLU?”

“Like I said. Hard to tell.”

“Un-fucking-believable,” Demo said, pinching the bridge of his nose. “It’s been a day.”

“Like you’re on to talk, mate. I’ve seen you paling around with Medic for the past few hours. Not subtle at all.”

“That’s different. I need the buff, just like everyone does. Plus, most of the time I just pretend he’s-”

“He’s what?” Sniper asked, raising an eyebrow knowingly.

“Fine,” Demo said, relenting. “I see your point. It’s just…I feel like everyone else is forgettin’. Pretendin’ like we can just hold hands, sing Kumbaya, and act like the last four years dinnae happen. No one seems to understand what’s wrong except me.”

“I have a feeling you’re talking about more than RED and BLU. Is this about the little spat you and Soldier had in spawn?”

Demo put his face in his hands. “I dunnae want tae talk ‘bout it.”

“Alright,” Sniper said, looking down his scope to where he knew the next wave will come any second. “But word of advice: if you never talk to us about it, no one will _ever_ understand what’s wrong.”

* * *

The tank crashed through the gate.

At this point in the battle the Soldier had memorized the location of every health pack, since he was taking damage constantly, being riddled with bullets and scorched by the Pyros. Their own Pyro was the only mercenary willing to get close to the robots besides Spy.

He was also beginning to realize what Medic had been talking about before the start, his gunboats _were_ heavy. He was walking slower, and without his shotgun he was stuck blasting bots at close range, catching himself with a chunk of the damage. His score was improving though, rising over the Sniper, Scout and Spy, but he had yet to surpass any of the team's other heavy hitters.

Even if it would improve his score he just couldn't take off the boots. They were his prize; proof that no matter what their scores said, the Soldier had beat the Demo.

He found fighting the tank easy enough, everyone turned their aim to the tank and let loose. The Medic had latched onto the Heavy to pop his kritz, the large man's minigun shredding the metal side of the tank. It continued to roll slowly up the hill, and after 6 bursts of rockets he suddenly realized he was almost out of ammo.

The stuff on the roof was exclusively for Engie, and the dispenser was also likely emptied by him and the Sniper. Since there was no one else further down the field he rocket jumped back over to the roof where he had spent the first wave. There was a large pack of ammo just as expected, and he crouched down to resupply.

Just as he started reloading his rocket launcher, the sound of clanging metal echoed from over the hill. Pushing quickly to his feet Jane leaned over the edge of the building, cursing when he saw a big clump of scoutbots jumping down into the field. They spotted him immediately, running towards the stairs.

Cursing again, he tried to reload faster; the scouts were weak but could easily overwhelm him. With the rest of the team dealing with the tank, Jane was on his own. The first few reached the top of the stairs and he pulled the trigger, blowing up three in one shot. There were more right behind them though, and they surrounded him immediately.

A bat hit his helmet, then his arm, then his back. Some of the scouts had grabbed his rocket launcher, he fired it, blasting the Scouts to pieces. His gunboats protected him from blowing his legs off, but they still ended up getting badly burned by the explosion.

“I need help!” he yelled, realizing he couldn't do this by himself.

In a last ditch effort he pulled out his shovel, trying to bash the scouts to death before they returned the favour.

Even without the krit stickies, Demo was still having the time of his life. He rolled a couple of pills toward some scouts, their numbers thinned by the sentry. They shattered into bits of metal and green paper, neither of which were his responsibility. He moved quickly across the map, the Eyelander’s speed easy to get when there were so many unprotected metal necks. He was just considering heading back when he heard a scream for help.

Launching himself skyward, he landed on a roof, surveying the scene for whoever was screaming.

It was Soldier. Of course it was. The idiot had gotten himself trapped on a roof by the rest of the scouts, and apparently all the way down to his shovel.

This was going to be fun.

The Demoman plopped on the opposite roof, wishing he had a bag of popcorn for such a delightful show.

Jane swung wildly, cutting down another two scouts before the shovel was knocked from his grasp. He wanted to run, but was surrounded on all sides. The metal bats beat on his forearms, up to protect his head, there was a crack, blood was soaking into his sleeves. Another hit landed on the back of his helmet, knocking it off, followed by a blow straight to his face. Blood spurted from his nose, and another hit sent him off balance, tumbling to the floor. More hits, broken legs, cracked ribs, fractured skull.

Ask any mercenary and they would say after a few days on the job, you don't fear death. It was true, death itself wasn't scary. Getting sniped, gunned down, decapitated, backstabbed, the pain was minor and lasted only moments. But there were times, when a missed backstab left you to bleed out, when the afterburn of a flamethrower slowly consumed you, when a rocket or bomb only destroyed one of your limbs, and you were left crippled on the ground waiting for rescue. That's when things became scary. Feeling your life drain slowly gave you _time_ to feel fear.

Lying on the ground, feeling his health drain hit by hit, absolutely overwhelmed by enemies, blood streaming into his eyes, Jane was terrified.

“HELP!” he screamed again, yell cut short by a bat breaking his jaw.

The world was darkening, he could feel his blood thrumming through his body, but it was getting more distant. Then with one last blow smashing his skull, he was dead.

There was whiteness.

Jane appeared with a loud click in the respawn room, only a few seconds had passed. His heart was still pounding, and he could feel the adrenaline and fear coursing through his veins. He took a moment to clear his head, leaning against the wall and taking a few deep breaths.

He'd been scared at times working at BLU, not that he would admit it, but nothing really compared to that. Fighting the other team never lead to being swarmed like that, and most of the mercs weren't cruel enough to kill someone so slowly with a blunt object.

He shook his head, heading over to the upgrade station and increasing his ammo capacity with some of the cash the Scout had returned earlier. Lifting his rocket launcher to his shoulder, Jane returned to the field, deciding to stick closer to the team this time.

* * *

It had seemed like a good idea at the time.

Tavish had watched the Soldier lose his shovel, thrown to the side in one of his desperate swipes. It was pretty funny watching his pathetic attempts to defend himself, his arms doing almost nothing to block the incoming blows.

It was funny right up until the helmet came off. It skittered, taking an overly long time to roll to foot of the building, spinning all the while. By the time it came to a stop, it’s owner had been knocked to the ground, blows raining down on an unprotected head. Now that his face was uncovered, Tavish could see the absolute terror in his eyes, even at a distance. He twitched, the bots attacking him in slow methodical viciousness, drawing out the beating as long as possible.

Soldier was screaming. It was awful, even worse than the screams that Pyro left in their wake as their victims slowly burned alive. The Soldier tried yelling for help once again, but it was violently cut off by another blow.

Tavish didn’t remember standing up. One second he was enjoying the show and the next he was on his feet, looking onto the lower roof. Soldier disappeared from his view. The bots blocked all visual.

Eventually, some sort of sensor must have told the bots their job was done. They turned as one, directing their attention to the mercenary on the roof, raising their bats and charging. They exploded, stepping into the trap Tavish had made beforehand, preparing for this exact situation. As he stepped through the piles of money, his boot knocked against Soldier’s helmet, not far from the dead mercenary.

Tavish’s feet seemed to move against his will, bringing him to the body, to the gore, the bloody mess that was all that remained of Soldier. This wasn’t that unusual. There were so many times during the War when he found himself staring over the man’s body stoically, taking in all the destruction he had caused. There were other times when his death wasn’t enough, and he would stab, beat, and mutilate the corpse long after he knew it was dead. Sometimes, he would even scream **_why_** as he did it. A dead Jane was just as likely to give him an answer as a live one.

But this time was different, and he knew why. He wasn’t looking down at his own handiwork, he was looking at something unfamiliar, and reminding him that Soldier didn’t bleed at only his command.

Every time. Every time he thought hurting Jane would give him some satisfaction, that sweet revenge would sooth some of the pain from the War. Every time he was wrong. Some day, he was going to have to learn that.

A few more waves came and went, and before they knew it their first mission was over. A few high fives were passed around, and the exhausted mercenaries returned to base. Passing by the scoreboard Jane and Demo glanced at it before looking at each other. Jane's score had improved, but not enough to really support all his bragging, and Demo's score had dropped without the Medic, but not below Jane's.

The Soldier just moved on, walking a bit faster to catch up with the rest of the team, not giving the Demoman any time for snide remarks.


	3. Chapter 3

The next two weeks passed slowly, each weekday meant another mission to complete, while on the weekends they were left to entertain themselves. Jane realized quickly that he couldn't keep up his old routine from BLU. He liked to shower after missions, to get the grime and sweat of the day off, but after battles in the shower room, Demo was there. He liked to eat dinner with the rest of the team, but Demo was there. He enjoyed spending an hour watching the evening news on the small lounge television, but what do you know, Demo was there.

As luck would have it, it seemed the Demoman despised Jane's presence as well. The Demoman took to watching television before dinner, and Jane in turn opted to eat dinner after the Demoman had left. They managed to divide up most activities like this without ever saying a word to each other.

Even a slightly dense man such as Soldier was able to tell that this obvious rift between them was making the rest of the team uncomfortable. After working together he saw all of them—even the REDs—as his team. He didn't like the idea that he and the Demoman were causing them problems.

Well that wasn't true.

He wasn't the problem, it was Demo! His reasons for hating and shunning the other man were perfectly justified. The Demoman had sold him out for a sword, called him a civilian…Once a traitor, always a traitor, Jane knew this to be true. All he was trying to do was protect his new team from the Demo.

But as good as they were at avoiding each other, there were times when their paths would collide.

It was a Saturday, and most people at the base had opted to wear more casual clothes. Jane of course preferred to wear his uniform whenever possible, but it seemed a certain someone would much rather cross-dress.

Jane had rounded the corner into the hallway, and there was the Demoman. He had decided to wear a kilt of all things, despite how absolutely ridiculous he looked.

“Nice skirt, Madam,” he scoffed, words dripping with sarcasm.

“It’s called a kilt, you tasteless bottom feeder,” Demo growled, rising to the bait despite himself, ”nae that you would be able tae see the difference with that bucket covering your eyes.” Demo puffed up his chest proudly. “In Scotland, we all have tae wear these. Our balls are just so big that the pants dunnae fit.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Soldier sneered, “you're a whole country of girly cross-dressers; it ain't news to me. Makes sense that Americans wear the pants…considering how weak you English were when we kicked your asses for independence.” Soldier never really saw a difference between the Scots and the English, they all came from the same place in his opinion. He knew as well that it would bother Demo all the more, and he was right.

The cross-dressing remarks Tavish was used to. Hell, even Spy used them on occasion. But calling him English was a perfectly stupid insult that only Soldier was capable of pulling off, and making him pissed to boot.

“HA!” Demo barked. “If by ‘kicked their asses’ you mean crawlin’ tae the French whenever you got a stain on your pretty little uniform. And, for future reference, the Scots have been fightin’ the English for the past eight hundred years, which makes _you_ more English than _I_ ever will be.”

“I'm a pure, red-blooded American!” Soldier yelled on instinct, not taking the time to think things through. If there was one thing he couldn't stand it was people doubting he was a Soldier, and doubting he was American. “You will be the one running to France, when you get kicked out of America for being a goddamn cross-dressing queer! I'm sure you can find some sick Frenchman who would fancy bending you over and lifting your skirt.”

The change in the Demoman was instant. Soldier watched the poise he had constructed in the last few minutes evaporate, leaving nothing but cold, slicing rage.

Demo’s voice was low, dangerous to anyone who had grown used to his loud and boisterous war cries. “If you just called me,” he said, hands shaking as he took a step, “what I think you just called me, you better get out of town fast. ‘Cause you’re going tae be in so much pain in the next few minutes, you’re going tae _wish_ you dinnae respawn.”

A shit-eating grin spread across Jane's face. He could see he had hit a nerve, but he wasn't scared of the Demoman. He'd proved over the War he was stronger, and he doubted the man had the balls to fight him in the middle of their base.

“ _I'm_ going to be in pain? Maybe from cringing so hard,” he laughed, tilting his head back slightly to peer at the Demoman from under his helmet. “No pansy faggot like yourself could lay a scratch on m-”

Tavish was on Soldier before “faggot” had fully left the other man’s mouth.

It happened so fast Jane had no chance to defend himself. The Demoman looked more enraged than he'd ever seen him. Tavish had never even been that mad during the War, if anyone had felt this type of rage back then it was Jane. He recognized the Demoman's anger as the kind he'd felt when the word 'civilian' played on that recording.

He was thrown to the ground, punch after punch landing on his unprotected face. It broke his nose, blackened his eyes, knocked out several teeth, and both of their blood mixed on the Demoman's knuckles.

It was over as quickly as it started, with the team rushing in and forcefully dragging the Demoman off him. They must have not been too far away, the hallway they were in right beside the living room. The Heavy took hold of Demo, twisting his arms behind his back.

“Go calm him down!” The Medic floated into his vision, gesturing at the Sniper and Spy. The two followed Heavy and the cursing Demoman into the other room. “Help me get him to the medbay,” he commanded, now talking to the Engie.

The two dragged Jane to his feet, supporting him under each arm. The world was wobbling around him and he can't see straight. Scout and Pyro were just standing in the doorway. Scout just looked terrified, but Pyro was fascinated by the rainbows and glitter coming out of Jane's face.

Down the hall and around the corner the three burst into the operating room. He was tossed haphazardly onto the table, and the Medic dragged the medigun along its rail, adjusting it slightly before turning on the beam. The effect was immediate, and he could feel his cartilage knit together and teeth slip back into place. It only took a minute before he was good as new.

“What the hell did you do?” Medic yelled, startling the Soldier.

“Me?” Jane asked incredulously. “He'd the one that attacked! Attacked his own team!”

“Come now Soldier, there is no way he'd do that without a reason,” Engie piped up from the other side of the table.

“He had a reason! That reason is that he's bastard that can't take even a little teasing!”

The Medic rolled his eyes, whispering, “you are one to talk…” under his breath.

“What did you say to get him so mad?” Engie asked, his soothing southern drawl helping to relax the Soldier a little.

“I just!…Uh…” Jane faltered, suddenly realizing they probably wouldn't like what he had to say. “It's none of your concern.”

Medic and Engie exchanged a look, both sensing they weren't going to get anymore information out of him.

“Alright…Well, I want you to stay here in the infirmary until we know The Demoman has calmed down… It's probably best we keep the two of you apart for the rest of the day,” Medic suggested.

Engie nodded, and Jane crossed his arms before laying back down on the table.

Jane wondered if he had gone too far. Demo had been so mad… and he himself would have reacted similarly if someone accused him of being queer. He didn't _want_ to think he had gone too far though. The Demoman had hurt him so deeply with his betrayal, that Jane truly believed the Scott deserved a fate worse than death.

So then why did he feel so sick over it?

* * *

“Demoman.”

“Fuck you,” Demo responded.

Heavy leaned back from the smaller mercenary, disappointment and dried blood on his face. The Russian’s nose was broken, the result of his first attempt at letting the Demoman go. He learned quickly.

So did Demo, who now sported a black eye in retribution. He also thought his cheek bone might be broken, but couldn’t bring himself to care. The only thing he wanted to do was curl up and die.

Heavy turned to Sniper and Spy, and gave a shake of his massive head. The three of them leaned in a circle, whispering conspiratorially.

“I am starting to think Soldier was right about him,” Spy cautioned. “He seems to have snapped, and with no warning whatsoever.”

“You know as well as I do that there’s more to it than that,” Sniper deflected. “Demo doesn’t just start a tango without reason. Something went down in that hallway, maybe even something Soldier initiated.”

“You see how they are around each other,” Spy insisted. “He beats a man he hates, practically to death, and then goes catatonic right afterwards. Is it so hard to believe he’s just as unstable as Soldier?”

“Demoman is more stable than rest of us combined,” Heavy said, his voice low and threatening.

“Says the man whose face is covered in blood,” Spy bit back immediately.

At that, Heavy only shrugged. “Little blood between friends. Barely hurts.”

Spy made a clicking noise with his tongue, and Demo could feel the other man’s eyes boring into the side of his head. Spy hated him. The rest of the team feared him, or at least were very cautious. He’d made more enemies today than intended.

“So that’s it?” Spy probed. “We just… _leave_ him like this? I say we have some way of restraining him, lock him in his room or something.”

“Just because my eyes are shite doesnae mean I cannae hear you,” Demo interrupted. It was almost worth it to see Spy stiffen out of the corner of his eye.

“Demo?’ Sniper asked hesitantly.

Demo looked down at his hands, practicing his breathing just a few more times. Then he stood, not bothering to look at his assembled co-workers. “I’m goin’ back tae my room.”

The three of them shared a glance, but none tried to stop him, not even Spy.

For a secret agent, Spy was terrible with discretion. Even as Demo walked down the hall, he heard the Frenchman faintly say, “You should stand outside his room. Make sure he doesn’t leave.”

“You do not tell Heavy what to do.”

Then he was out of earshot, dragging his feet up what felt like a hundred steps. He closed the door quietly, locked it, and sat on his bed. It was basically the same position he had been in down stairs, but now he didn’t have to listen to those assholes talk about him. He hung his head.

How? How was Soldier still finding new ways to hurt him?

He used to be the most important person in Tavish’s world, and now he…

Tears pooled, spilling silently onto his hands. The salt irritated his already blackened eye, but he didn’t have the energy to wipe it away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you're enjoying the story, please leave a comment or review! We love to know that people like out stuff <3


	4. Chapter 4

The Soldier was still laying on the medical table with his arms crossed. He resembled an angry puppy, his bottom lip sticking out it a dramatic pout.

“Maybe we should send him back to his room,” Medic sighed, suddenly feeling like the man's parent more than his doctor. “I want to speak with the rest of the team.”

“Sounds good, doc. Come on Soldier, on your feet.” The Engineer tapped Jane on the shoulder, prompting him to hop off the table and follow the Texan back to his room.

Once the two were gone Medic rubbed his face with his palms. The last thing he had expected when taking this job was all this…drama. He expected tensions sure, it was only natural when they had been paid to kill each other for the past four years, but the killing had never been personal for Medic. They would yell taunts and make fun of the other team during the fight, but at the end of the day he honestly had nothing against them.

That was the problem, he supposed. For the Demoman and the Soldier it **was** personal. He had never heard the details of why the War had started, but he knew the two had been friends, then something happened causing them to absolutely hate each other. It finally cumulated in the Administrator rewarding them for killing one another.

The involvement of the Administrator was suspicious, he realized suddenly. What stake did she have in a feud between friends?

He decided it was best to discuss things with the rest of the team, so he exited the infirmary and headed to the lounge. Heavy and the others he'd left with Demoman were already there. He gave Heavy a look after seeing the bloody nose, but the large man just shrugged.

Flopping down onto the couch he took a look around the room.

“What are we going to do about them?”

“I think the answer is obvious,” Spy said immediately. “We need to separate them. Someone should watch Soldier while another watches Demoman. Make sure they never meet.”

“Unrealistic,” Heavy stated.

“Yeah,” Engineer agreed. “We can’t divert another two men just to babysit the ones we already can’t handle.”

“At least they are able to tolerate each other while we are fighting,” Medic said, pinching the bridge of his nose. “It is only here, at base, that it’s a problem.”

“Yo, what are you guys talkin’ ‘bout?” Scout asked, entering the discussion with Pyro trailing behind him. “An’ what the hell happened back there? I mean, didya see that? Demo totally kicked the crap outta him!” Scout collapsed next to Medic, making the couch groan.

“We were just discussing how to handle them.”

“ _I_ think they need to be contained.” Spy sneered.

“And I disagree,” Engineer countered.

“Spy, it seems like you are trying to treat the symptoms instead of the disease itself,” Medic said, considering his words carefully. “We need to get to the heart of the problem.”

“Have you guys…ya know…tried talkin’ to them?”

The other mercenaries stared as Scout in bewilderment.

“Mmmhhm mmm. Hmmm hmm hmm hhhhhmrrrh!” Pyro agreed, poking Scout in the arm.

“That…could work,” Engineer said, as though he couldn’t believe Scout had enough brainpower to come up with it.

“I can talk to Demo,” Sniper volunteered.

“And I suppose that leaves me to talk to Soldier.” Medic rubbed his temples. Somehow, this was going to end in disaster.

The discussion didn't last long, but at least now they had a plan. Even though the Medic had been unable to get any information out of the Soldier earlier, he was still relatively close to the man, and probably had a better chance of getting through to him than most others. He wondered if the Sniper had been close with Demo back at RED.

After the meeting dispersed, Medic strolled brusquely down the hallway, stopping to knock on the Soldier's door.

“Soldier, open up.”

“…”

“I'm not leaving until you do.”

There was some shuffling from the other side of the door, and then it slowly swung open. The Soldier didn't look particularly happy, and returned to the chair by his desk. It seemed to the Medic that the Soldier had been passing time by polishing his gunboats. He picked up a rag and continued to rub the already shiny metal.

“Soldier…” he began calmly. “We need to discuss what has been going on between you and the Demoman. Things can't continue like this.”

“Mm…” The American grumbled noncommittally, polishing the boots harder.

The Medic huffed and sat on the edge of the bed. To say Soldier was stubborn was an understatement, and it was obvious there were some feelings involved here, something the Soldier almost never talked about.

“What is your problem with the Demoman? Why can't you two leave the past in the past?”

“I already told you… He is a traitor, he cannot be trusted.”

“Very well… sure.” The Medic nodded, drumming his fingers on his knees. “But… Why do you say that? What is your evidence?”

“He…” The Soldier's polishing motions slowed, it looked like he was contemplating something. “We were friends,” he started. “Met outside RED and BLU not long after we started working here.” He put down the cloth, staring at his distorted reflection in the metal. “It was… fun.”

Jane didn't feel comfortable filling in the details of their time together, or explaining just how much it had meant to him. “Anyway he ended up…picking that sword over me. Saying some things that…” His voice faltered and he grew quiet. He picked up the polishing cloth and got back to work.

It was worse than the Medic had thought. There was obviously some deep, deep hurt going on here. He started to doubt this was something the team could ever fix.

“And what about today? What did you say to him that would have him react like that?”

“Look I just… I said he was a prissy queer. It's just an insult, it doesn't mean anything.” Jane murmured defensively.

“ _Gott_ , Soldier…” Medic buried his face in his hands. “You can't just say things like that.”

“Why not? He insults me all the time and I don't go off like that! The way he reacted to it you'd think it's true!” The Soldier scoffed. “Just get out, I'm done talking”

The Medic pursed his lips before leaving the Soldier alone. That man really needed to be taught how to shut his mouth, but now was not the time.

-

Sniper tapped lightly on the Demo’s door.

“Hey Demo. Can I come in?”

“You can try, but the door’s locked.”

“Well, can you open it?”

“Probably.”

There wasn’t movement on the other side. Sniper sighed, pressing his forehead against the door. It pushed his hat nearly off his head, but the action seemed appropriate given the somber mood in the base.

“Tav. Please.”

There was a sound of drawing breath, and Sniper thought he might lapse right back into silence, but then there was the sound of sock-covered feet padding towards the door. It opened, revealing the weary Demoman. Maybe it was just the black eye, but it looked like he had been crying.

“C’mon,” Tavish said with a sigh.

Sniper entered, and Tavish closed the door behind him. Before Sniper could even say why he had come, Tavish walked past, dropping onto the bed. Sniper got the impression he had been in that same position for the past few hours.

“Feeling alright?”

“Fuck you,” Tavish responded.

Sniper sighed, choosing to sit next to his friend on the bed.

“I think it’s about time you talked about it, wouldn’t you say?”

Tavish raised an eyebrow sceptically. “You’re nae goin’t tae ask what today was all about?”

“I like to look at the big picture,” Sniper shrugged. “It’s about time we got all the shitty feeling stuff out in the open.”

“What? You now the team therapist or somethin’?” Demo scoffed. “Face it Sniper, you got the emotional range of a teaspoon.”

“Hey,” Sniper said with mock offense, “I’m great with feelings. Who do you think got Scout to stop moping ‘bout his dead brother ‘n open up to the rest of the team?”

That…actually threw Demo for a loop. “That was _you_?”

“Yep. All I had to do was talk to him man-to-man ‘n he starts bawling all over the place. Lack of male figures or whatever. Anyway,” Sniper said, slapping a hand on Tavish’s back, “I un-emotionally-stunted him. An’ I’m gunna do the same to you. Therapist Sniper, at your service.”

“You’re such a piece o’ shit,” Tavish chuckled, shoving him away. He couldn’t help the smile that forming at the corners of his lips.

With the robot invasion every weekday, and the pressure of avoiding Soldier on all other hours, he had forgotten what it was like to just pal around. He looked down at his hands, wondering where the hell everything went so wrong.

“Where what went wrong?”

Sniper looked at him, an eyebrow raised behind the aviators he refused to take off. Shit. Tavish hadn’t realized he’d said that aloud. He sighed. Best to start from the beginning.

“The War was never about the weapons. It was always about him.” It was a blunt, if pathetic way to put it. “He was my friend.”

“You’re joking.”

“That’s right Sniper,” Demo replied sarcastically, “I’m joking. You caught me.”

“Well what the hell happened?”

The answer “I don’t know” seemed appropriate, but it wouldn’t be entirely true. “I used tae not care that he was BLU, but apparently that dinnae change how he felt about RED. The Administrator offered him some weapons, and he was willin’ tae sacrifice everythin’ and come at me in all his fightin’ glory. I dinnae matter a lick tae him, and it was a mistake tae think so.”

“The Administrator?” Sniper asked, getting hung up on the wrong part of the story.

Tavish felt like there was nothing left to say, so he didn’t. Sniper looked at him, feeling awkward for the first time since he entered the room.

He put his hand comfortingly on Demo’s shoulder. “You look like you need a hug.”

“Please dunnae hug me.”

“To late. The hug train has already left the station.”

Sniper wrapped his arms around the bigger man; enveloping Demo in the most awkward embrace he had ever experienced.

“Ach! It’s like gettin’ strangled by a scarecrow.”

“Screw you, mate. I’m a great hugger.”

Demo didn’t protest after that. He let them sit on the bed for quite a while longer.

* * *

Later that night after most of the team had gone to bed, The Medic asked Sniper to meet him in his lab, in order to discuss what they had learned about their teammates. Medic handed the Sniper a cup of coffee before sitting at his desk, and the Sniper settled down across from him.

“Well, I managed to get a bit more out of the Soldier.” He sighed, taking a sip of the tea he'd prepared for himself. “It was as I suspected, it all ties back to the War they had all those years ago. Apparently the two of them were friends, quite close I'd guess. The Administrator bribed them with weapons, and apparently the Demoman accepted…. Soldier sees this as a very hurtful betrayal.”

“Huh,” Sniper said, taking a large gulp.

He then leaned over his coffee, looking into the brown liquid like it was going to give him answers to life itself. That information was…puzzling to say the least. Even without his previous suspicions, something just wasn’t quite right here.

He looked up at Medic, wondering how to say it. “Funny how Demo told me pretty much the same thing. Only—and this is really going to knock your socks off, Doc—he told me that Solly was the one who accepted the deal.”

“Hm….” Medic mumbled, leaning back in his chair to scratch his chin. “You don't suppose one of them was lying, do you?

The two mercs sat in silence, taking a few more long gulps from their respective drinks.

“I suppose not,” Medic sighed, taking off his glasses to rub the bridge of his nose. “Something funny is going on here. I'm not sure what it is… But things are definitely not what they seem.”

“Usually when something funny’s going on I blame Spy. Like the time everyone’s left shoe disappeared.”

“I honestly doubt the Spy was involved in this.” Medic said. “But he might be able to help us find out a bit more about the War, and what the Administrator did back then.” There was a pause where Medic finished his drink. “You can go Sniper, I will talk to the Spy.”

The Sniper nodded, finishing off the cup of coffee before returning to his room. Medic picked up the dishes and brought them back to the sink, cleaning them quickly. He left the room soon after, going down the hallway and knocking three times on the Spy's door.

“Enter,” Spy said, even before the third knock finished.

Spy smiled to himself. They had come to him for advice. Good. He knew they would.

But when the door opened, revealing a lone Medic rather than the rest of the team, he stood in surprise.

“Is there something the matter?” He sneered. “I am guessing your little therapy sessions with the drunkard and the idiot did not go as expected.”

Medic scowled, not appreciating the Spy's attitude.

“It went fine, thank you.” He sighed. “I just wanted to ask you some things, as I know you spend a lot of time snooping around. What do you know about the War between the Demoman and the Soldier? The one that happened a year after we were hired.”

Spy pursed his lips. Medic was still trying to sort things out, foolish an endeavour as it may be.

However, Spy was as adept at stopping wars as he was starting them, so perhaps he could try playing Medic’s game.

“Soldier broke his contract by forming a non-antagonistic relationship with a member of Reliable Excavation and Demolition,” the Frenchman began. “The breach in the contract was forgiven as long as the offending parties participated in a competition where they killed each other for fabulous prizes. The War lasted one week. Soldier won 640 kills to the RED’s 637. Should I keep going? I usually charge a substantial fee for giving out information.”

“Hmm, so you _did_ know about their previous friendship,” Medic mused. “Do you know which of them took the deal first? Because they both seem to believe it was the other.”

“What do you mean?” Spy said, wrinkling his nose. “They both took the deal. Does it really matter who did so first?”

Medic glared.

“Well I assume whoever took it first was whoever was offered it first,” Spy relented. “I have no more insight than that.”

“But we don't know who is responsible. We _need_ to know who betrayed who—or at least exactly what happened—if we ever want to fix things between them.” Medic was getting frustrated with the Spy's lack of care. “Can't you just look into it? For the sake of the team?”

“Look,” Spy said, putting it in simple terms so the Medic would understand, “it doesn’t matter. They were offered the deal at almost the same time, and no matter who took it first, the other party wouldn’t have had enough time to find out. They probably just lied to both of them; get the War up and running as fast as possible. An assumption that would have backfired tremendously if one of them had refused, but it all turned out in the end.”

Spy was getting irritated with the Medic’s insistence. He lit a cigarette, simply because he knew it would annoy the man.

“It’s almost funny,” Spy said without a trace of humour. “Two stupid companies tricking two stupid mercenaries. It seems all so perfectly…” Suddenly, a thought struck him. The cigarette dangled from his fingers, half forgotten as something crawled along his spine. “…Coordinated.”

Spy stared in front of him a moment longer. His eyes moved to Medic, wondering if he should voice his concern allowed.

“…For the sake of the team you say? I will…look into it.”


	5. Chapter 5

Tensions were high over the next few days, with the Demo and Soldier spending a lot more time in their rooms than usual. Demo was a little more manageable at least, almost never sober once he discovered he could requisition booze.

Medic was also on edge, the Spy had promised to visit Medic in his lab once he found any information, and the wait was driving him slowly insane.

After a particularly long battle, Medic decided to go to bed early, the stress of waiting around too much to bear. He was wrapped up in his robe and about to head off to bed, when there was a sudden knock on his door.

“Coming!” He called, scooting over to the door in slippered feet. He was surprised to see the Spy on the other side, as he usually didn't bother to knock.

“Good evening Docteur. Might I come in?”

There was no reason to ask; Medic would let him in no matter what. But the Spy did not have the energy to start something at the moment and he needed to be sure…

There was still time to change their course of action.

Once he was sure the door was closed, he turned to the German.

“How concerned are you with our success here?”

“I'm not sure I follow.” Medic's brow furrowed, gesturing for the Spy to walk deeper into the room. “I mean I am obviously concerned about our teammates, and I wish for enough success to receive a decent paycheck and funding for my lab” The two stopped at the back of the room near Medic's desk. “I am assuming this means you found something.”

Spy didn’t feel like sitting. Instead, he stared at the desk. He found himself staring at random things a lot the past few hours.

“In short, yes.” He turned to Medic. “I am assessing whether or not you want to hear it.”

“I hope this is not just you playing up the dramatics Spy,” Medic chided, raising an eyebrow when Spy's expression didn't change. “Very well, of course I want to hear. Ignorance is bliss they say, but I really don't feel these last few weeks have been blissful.”

“If we still worked for Builder’s League United,” Spy began, “I would be concerned for my life after coming into this information. And, by imparting it to you, yours as well. However, we no longer work for BLU, and I am not sure where exactly we stand. I do not like uncertainty, and so, I ask you again: how concerned are you with our success here? Is victory of these machines more important than anything else? Are Demoman and Soldier really worth dying for?”

“Spy… Just spit it out before I kill you myself,” Medic sighed, losing all patience for the Spy's dramatics. “I know how the RED Medic kept your head in a freezer, don't think I'm above that.”

As much as he wanted to be absolutely sure of Medic’s intentions, Spy really didn’t want to go back in the freezer. He cleared his throat. “I have conclusive proof that RED and BLU are owned by the same company.”

The two of them stood, completely silent in the small office.

“What do you mean the same company? That… That doesn't make sense!” Medic froze in place, wheels turning in his expansive mind. “Why would a company hire two teams of mercenaries to fight each other? What's the point? And… And what does this have to do with the Demo and the Soldier?” Medic began to pace back and forth across the room. “What… What proof do you have?”

“Pauling is not a steel trap,” Spy said, “no matter how much the Administrator believes she is. It took a long time, but eventually I gained access to the old RED and BLU war video logs. The Administrator records everything. Including herself.”

Spy placed a small tape on the Medic’s desk.

“This is the log dated the start of the War. I started with what I knew, and thus it was the first piece I came across. But there are more, many more. I have made copies, a contingency you understand, but this…” Spy tapped the tape. “I believe this will be enough.”

Medic snatched the tape from the Spy and hurried over to the television he kept behind his desk. The first few seconds were static, but then an older woman appeared on the screen. He recognized the voice immediately, it was the Administrator. She was running a set of large monitors, and speaking over the intercom to both teams. It went on like that for a few minutes, until suddenly Ms. Pauling appeared in the frame. She was obviously nervous, clutching the files in her hands tightly, and stuttering some sort of nonsense. But then she mentioned the BLU Soldier and the RED Demoman.

“It looks like they've become…friends, Administrator.”

Medic perked up at these words, this was it, whatever happened here was the catalyst that started the War. He watched closely as Ms. Pauling handed the Administrator the file. From the angle of the recording he couldn't see it's contents, but the Administrator was clearly displeased.

“Call Mr. Hale,” was the next thing that hit him, He recognized the name, but couldn't quite place it.

“In my experience, Ms. Pauling, nothing kills a friendship faster…than some healthy competition.”

With that, the tape crackled into static again. Medic staggered back from the TV and sat down at his desk, leaving the Spy to rewind and eject the tape.

“That's it then,” Medic muttered. “They broke the contract… and Administration decided to destroy their friendship…I suppose it doesn't matter who accepted first…They likely were willing to lie and bribe with whatever it would take to make them both say yes, after all, money is no object…”

It just seemed so crazy to him that something as simple as a friendship between the two men could make the Administrator feel so threatened.

“So, I have delivered what you’ve asked of me,” Spy interrupted. “The only question is: what now?”

A question, in a rare moment of diffidence, Spy had no answer to. Although he would never admit it, he considered Medic the unofficial leader, and felt a small twinge of relief there was someone to share that burden of knowledge with.

“Do we reveal this to the team? Some won’t care, but many will want to leave. The battle against the robots will not fare well without them. And what of the Demoman and Soldier? Perhaps…”

Spy knew he would have to phrase this delicately.

“…It is better they do not know.”

“What are you talking about? This is the answer to our problems!” The Medic had recovered from his shock and jumped out of the chair. “If we show this to the Demo and the Soldier they will see it was neither one's fault, and they can get over this stupid feud!” Medic was just too excited by the prospect of having less team-babysitting to do. “We…we have to tell them right away. The rest of the team doesn't have to know, we can just show this to them and then let them work it out for themselves.”

“Medic…”

Spy already felt like this was a mistake.

He placed a hand on the doctor’s shoulder. “If you tell them, they won’t see it is neither of their faults. They will know it is their own.”

Medic faltered, his smile falling. What the Spy said might be true, he couldn't know how they would take it. But then again, he wasn't doing this for them.

“It doesn't matter,” Medic dismissed. “I don't care if it makes them happy or miserable, at least they won't be angry. It is the anger that is causing problems for this team, and this tape will fix that.” He snatched up the tape, tucking it into the pocket of his robe.

“I will take it from here Spy…you can go.”

Spy sighed and left. Somehow, even though it was in Medic’s hand now, Spy knew the responsibility was still his.

* * *

Demo wasn’t asleep, but nobody else had to know that. He passed the night just like he did most, lying sideways, eye open, staring at the unchanging mass of fabric that was his closet.

All the uniforms were exactly the same. He would use them, toss them, and eventually find them back in his closet, fresh and laundered. Same red cloth, same red blood stains that didn’t exist. He closed his eye.

One day he was going to wake up. He had to. This was obviously some nightmare his brain had cooked up to punish him for not taking better care of it. He would wake up on RED base, kill BLUs, relax with his team, and go back to sleep, the only place he truly belonged. Or one day, he would wake up, tell Pauling he quit, and go home to find a real job. Only his mother would kill him, and then he’d _really_ be in hell. (Which wasn’t that bad ever since the Bombinomicon had taken over.)

This place was killing his psyche, no matter how many emotional talks he and Sniper had. Every day he told himself he couldn’t stay here with Jane a moment longer. He had to escape. Otherwise he would…

There was a knock at the door.

“ _Herr_ Demoman!” Medic greeted cheerily. He was dressed in slippers and a robe—obviously ready for bed—and yet far more awake than Demo had been in weeks.

Demo held the door open a little wider. “What do you want?”

“I have something that will fix everything! Do you have a TV in here?” Medic didn’t wait for a response, bustling past into the wreck of a room. “Ah, of course you do! Mann Co. spares no expense.”

“Mann Co. is hardly even paying us,” Demo said, watching Medic knock laundry off the small set.

“No matter,” Medic said with a wave of his hand. He dropped the TV on a chair, popping in a video he must have had stashed away in his robe. “Come! Watch!”

Demo stood in front of the TV, not sure what he was supposed to be looking at. That woman was defiantly Pauling, and the other one he came to recognize as the Administrator, but none of what they’re saying made any sense to him-

He heard his name. Not Tavish, but RED Demoman, shortly preceded by the name BLU Soldier. He slammed forward onto his knees, gripping the set with both hands.

It was from the War.

He watched the whole video in absolute silence. When it was done, he jammed the rewind button and watched it again. He did it a third time; barely making his fingers work in the way he wanted to. Medic gently pulled him away from the set.

“Do you understand?” Medic asked, glee in his voice. “RED and BLU are the same. And, believe me, that threw me for a loop at first too. The War was merely a way to cover that up, which you both did a remarkable job at.” He grinned, an expression that made Demo sick to his stomach in a way that no expression of joy should. “Don’t you see? It was all a ruse! Neither you nor the Soldier are at fault, and now you two can go back to how you were before, _ja_? Killing robots like you were born to.”

Medic stepped back, leaning down over the TV to eject the tape. At the door, he paused. “Oh, and don’t mention the RED and BLU thing to anyone else, _ja_? Don’t want to start a panic, do we?” Medic laughed at his own joke, which wasn’t really a joke at all.

Demo could still hear his chuckles as the door closed behind him.

* * *

The Medic went about revealing the information to Soldier in much the same way. Jane was still awake, despite the late hour, still dressed in the day's clothes. He was leaning back in his desk chair, wearing his gunboats kicked up on the desk where he could see them. He'd been like that for hours, just staring at the boots, his mind completely blank.

“Soldier! Open up! I have important news!” the Medic said excitedly, voice slightly muffled by the door.

Jane slid his feet off the desk, letting them fall to the floor with a clunk. He rose sluggishly, dragging his feet to the door and unlocking it.

The Medic burst in before the Soldier even had a chance to open the door, running over the unused television in the corner. This piqued Jane's curiosity, not sure what on the tape the Medic was currently shoving into the player could possibly show that was so important. He stood at attention, watching as the tape crackled to life.

He watched it, start to finish, and logically he understood what he saw. But…

“This is fake,” Jane said, crossing his arms. “I… I don't believe any of this.”

Medic's face fell slightly. “But Soldier…This is actual footage from the start of the War! Don't you see? The whole thing was a cover up for RED and BLU being the same company, you two don't have to hate each other anymore!”

“No!” Soldier yelled, his hands balling into fists. “It doesn't make sense! He still said it! He still betrayed me! YOU are trying to TRICK me!”

The Medic removed the tape, starting to get worried. The Soldier was advancing towards him jaw set so tight you'd think his teeth would crack.

“I'm not tricking you Soldier! I'm trying to help!”

“YOU ARE LYING!”

Jane threw a punch at the Medic's face, only missing due to the doctor's quick reflexes. His fist hit the concrete wall, a loud crack ringing out, and blood smearing on the wall as he gently pulled his hand away.

“Get out.” Jane murmured.

The Medic didn't wait for another invitation, and scurried out the door, slamming it behind him. The Soldier walked back to the door, locking it gently before just collapsing against it, sliding slowly to the floor.

He was so tired of this, just so tired. He wanted to leave and just forget everything. He couldn't forget like this, seeing the Demo's face every day. He didn't deserve this, all this guilt over the War when it wasn't even his fault. Jane was the one betrayed, not Tavish! Not him! It wasn't fair.

The video swirled around in his head. Even if the video was real, and that was a big if, it didn't change the fact that Demo had called him a civilian, not a real soldier, he'd heard it with his own two ears! And… He had promised…!

It suddenly dawned on him that he was shaking, blood dripping down his hand and onto the floor. He pulled his legs to his chest, curling up tightly with his back against the door. He was tired… Just so tired…

* * *

The Eyelander sat in the middle of the floor, cold and silent, resting before another day of robot killing.

Haunted swords need their beauty sleep too.

Demo had retrieved it a few minutes after Medic left, sneaking down to the armoury and back with no one the wiser. Now, it sat in his room, somehow mocking him even though it hadn’t said a word.

There was no other conclusion.

He watched the video in his mind, again and again, slamming down on the rewind button just like he had when it was physically there. The discovery, the judgment, the ultimate decision. He came the same conclusion Medic had: the war was a fake.

And not just the war, but also the _War_. The worst time in the Demoman’s life had been a set up just so he wouldn’t talk about his job with his best friend.

He had been wrong. So very wrong.

He wondered if Medic was showing Soldier that same video right now, if the same chain of events was occurring in Soldier’s meagre little room.

In his minds eye he could see it, another TV set, Soldier staring blankly at it while Medic looked on in delight. There are no decorations on the wall, no clothing besides the same pristine uniforms. Jane always kept things sparse; Tavish was reminded of the other man’s small apartment, decrepit and falling apart. He constantly insisted that they should go to Tavish’s house instead, but Jane always refused. Supposedly, he liked his privacy. Tavish thought he just didn’t know how to take care of himself.

But that was okay because Tavish knew how to take care of Jane. He knew which words to say to calm Jane down from a fight, he knew the way Jane liked his ribs, and he knew the signs when Jane needed to talk to someone. Tavish took pleasure in keeping an eye on him, making sure he was all right in his drafty little home.

He’d loved that. He’d loved Jane.

But he’d thrown it all away for his stupid fucking pride.

He ran his fingers over the edge of Eyelander, wondering if he could get it to draw blood. But the sword remained asleep, and his fingers undamaged. To think of how many times he had mutilated Jane with this very weapon; rage burned inside him just thinking about it. He hated Pauling, the Administrator, and whoever else was to blame for this stupid War. But most of all, he hated himself.

What had finally done it was the realization that he didn’t matter to Jane. That the other man was willing to trade him for weapons without a care in the world, that every feeling Tavish had was completely one-sided and always would be.

Only it wasn’t. Seeing that video, those photos that no longer existed because Tavish had burned his copies, reminded him that they had been happy. He had mattered to Jane. The fact that his friend had tried to kill him was merely a technicality.

He stood. Now was the time to set things right.


	6. Chapter 6

It had been over an hour since the Medic had left, Jane wasn't sure exactly how long, he'd lost track of time. The blood on his knuckles had dried some time ago, but if he flexed his fingers they'd still crack open and bleed anew. It was slightly swollen, he'd probably broken his hand.

The pain was good though, it was a distraction from his thoughts. Jane didn't really like thinking too much, it led to uncomfortable things: realizations he didn't like, feelings he swore he didn't have. He liked being loud and in the present, using war cries and rocket explosions to drown out the inner monologue.

He'd spent so much time like this that he hardly realized that he missed the Demoman. He definitely did though, it seemed to all be coming back now. A part of him wanted to forgive Demo, just forget about what he'd said and go back to how things were. Getting in drunken fights with cops, trying new restaurants, touring gravel pits, but he just couldn't. He couldn't stand thinking about him, and he'd gotten rid of every reminder of their time before the War. Perhaps this was one of the times when his shoddy memory was a blessing.

His body ached, he was probably getting too old to spend the night sitting on a cold cement floor, but he just couldn't bring himself to move.

He didn't know what to do about the Demoman, he couldn't leave, he wasn't a quitter. Not to mention the contract he'd signed bound him to this job until all the robots were defeated… however long that would take. It seemed he was stuck here, with a man he hated, and a team he couldn't trust.

* * *

The door was impenetrable.

Perhaps not so much physically as psychologically, but that mattered little in the end. Tavish couldn’t bring himself to knock on the door. He had re-learned piano with only one eye, gotten a thirty-two player streak in a single match, and killed the Loch Ness Monster, yet this was still the most difficult thing he had ever done in his life.

He pressed his forehead against the door. There was no noise from inside. Maybe Soldier had gone for a walk? Or maybe Medic hadn’t even shown him the video. Or maybe Soldier decided to leave in the middle of the night and never come back to this miserable base.

Demo wasn’t sure if he thought these things because he was afraid they had happened, or if some part of him wished they had. He sighed.

The knock at the door was so quiet, that if Jane had not been leaning against it he probably would not have noticed. He contemplated just staying there and not answering. After all, he didn't have anything left to say to Medic or the rest of the team. It didn't matter if they hated him, nothing they could say would change his mind.

The last thing he wanted though was the Medic calling Heavy to break his door in, so with great pain he rose to his feet. His knees popped, having been tucked in tightly for so long. He took a moment to roll his shoulders and crack his neck, trying to dispel some of the stiffness lingering there. When he opened the door he expected the Medic.

Only it wasn't.

Jane's helmet was still far enough over his eyes that he couldn't see the man's face, but he recognize the uniform immediately. He froze, holding the door half open with his hand wrapped firmly around the knob. The Soldier opened his mouth to say something, but nothing came out. He just stood there, mouth agape, little pins of shock and fear shooting up his spine.

The Soldier may not have been able to say anything, but Demo could.

“Jane.”

The name he hadn’t said in years slipped out before he could yank it back. It was the first time he had been this close to Jane since their fight, and it had been hard to take in anything about him when he was smashing the other man’s face in.

Jane looked old. More than that, he looked like he hadn’t slept in weeks. Which, considering Tavish hadn’t either, wasn’t too far-fetched.

The use of his name sent a punch right into Jane’s gut, and he couldn't help but shudder. Demo's voice was so…calm. Jane couldn't help the way it eased the tension in his shoulders, it was such a relief to hear him speak without anger. It was the first time he could remember since before the War.

He tried to hang, on but his defences were slipping, the door creaked slightly more open as he let go of it, standing a bit straighter. Not trusting himself to look directly at the Scott, Jane continued to stare intensely at the inside of his helmet.

“What do you want?” He tried to snap, but instead the question fell flat.

“I…”

A good question. Tavish didn’t know what he wanted. ‘Make things right’ seemed like a much more straightforward goal thirty seconds ago.

“I…want to talk to you. Can I come in?”

Jane was scared; he wanted to say no, call Demo a bastard and slam the door in his face, but he didn't. There was hope bubbling up in his chest, some actual optimist that maybe something good would come out of this. It felt like his hope and fear were fighting, kicking around his stomach like a soccer ball and making him want to throw up.

He ended up just walking away from the open door. Not explicitly inviting the Demo in, but not pushing him away either. He stopped by his desk and started picking at his knuckles, watching with disinterest as the bleeding started up again.

Tavish followed Jane inside, closing the door behind him. For a while he silently watched the other man pick at the scabs, the blood slowly dripping onto the desk below. It seemed symbolic somehow, but Tavish didn’t really care. The rhythmic motion was making him sick

He didn’t even really know what he was doing when he reached over and closed his hand around Jane’s wrist.

“Stop. You’re hurting yourself.”

For Jane the touch was like an electric shock, and he tore his hand from the other's grip.

“Don't touch me!” he yelled, whipping around to face the Demoman. “What's this about? Why are you here? I'm not falling for any of your damn tricks Demoman! I won't! Not again!”

He was getting worked up, his pulse was beating in his teeth, and his mind was whirling a mile a minute. He needed something to ground himself, and sunk his nails back into the open wound. It burned, but it calmed him enough to hold onto his thoughts.

Demo's gut twisted, watching even more blood drip onto the carpet. “Jane, please.”

Tavish wasn’t sure if he meant please stop, or please calm down, or please listen to me, or maybe all three. Even though he had almost beaten the man to death a few days ago, the sight of him doing that to himself hurt worse than any of the accusations Jane slung.

“I’m nae here tae trick you, I just want tae talk. I want tae say…”

And suddenly, looking at his friend clutching his shattered hand, the answer was as clear as day.

“…I’m sorry.”

Jane was shaking so badly, he felt so cold.

“For what?” He hissed. “Trying to kill me? That's nothing new.” He was referring of course to the altercation a few days ago. “That was my own weakness…. I should have been able to take you down.”

More blood splattered on the floor when he weakly shook his wrist. Where was all this blood even coming from?

“I don't want your worthless apologies,” He spat.

“Jesus Jane, you know what I’m talkin’ about,” Demo pleaded. “You saw the tape.”

Jane _had_ to have seen the tape. Otherwise he wouldn’t have even let Tavish in the door. He had to.

Tavish wanted nothing more than to grab him by the wrists again and make him stop splattering blood across the room, but he remembered how well that worked before. Instead, he wrung his own hands, not sure what to do with himself.

“Please just… _talk_ tae me or somethin’.”

“You…he showed it to you too?” Jane mumbled cautiously. He'd thought maybe it had been the Demo's idea to fake it, but he didn't seem to be lying. “It…It's gotta be fake…Medic just wants us to stop fighting. And even…Even if the tape is real…” Jane sucked in air to try and keep himself together. He didn't like the direction this seemed to be headed. “You still said I'm..! I'm…” He swallowed thickly, taking every effort to hold back tears. “You called me a civilian! Said I'm not a real Soldier!!! You…I made you promise!”

Tavish was halfway to saying that there was no way the video was a fake when Jane’s words hit him.

“What? When did that happen?” Jane looked like he was about to cry, and the magnitude of his words became all too apparent. “I never called you anything Jane, I’ve never even told _anyone_ about that. I promised I wouldn’t and I didn’t.”

“No.” Jane sounded like he was crying, although tears still had yet to fall. “That day…When the War started. I said I wouldn't do it, I said I _couldn't_ do it.” He paused to breathe heavily out his mouth. “But they played a recording…and you said those things, I…I was just so _angry_.”

He took another moment to breathe

“You did say it though, didn't you? Don't lie, you must have said it. If you didn't say it then that means I…Th-this…this whole War…everything was…” There was the smallest tremor in his voice, just one push from completely falling apart.

“I know,” Demo said, bile rising in the back of his throat. “This whole War was for nothin’. They got me to kill you, over and over again and I…” He looked down at his hands, the Eyelander’s visage so real he could practically feel its weight. “…Hate myself for it. I know you dunnae want tae believe it, tae believe we did this tae each all because o’ the fear o’ an old harpy, but we did. And the only reason they got me tae dance tae their tune was because you were important. And…I just…I want tae…”  
The phrase “have you back” didn’t make it past his lips.

“Damnit!” Jane screamed as the Demoman's words began to sink in, followed by his first proper sob. Jane grabbed the small desk beside them, flipping it across the room. The sound of shattering glass from the desk lamp was akin to an explosion. “Everyone is right, I'm such a goddamn idiot!”

He knew he wasn't the smartest person, but he had never felt as incredibly stupid as he did now. All it had taken was one fake recording to completely fool him into betraying his best friend, killing him over and over, and just being so _mean._ He was a _bad friend_.

Jane wanted to cause hurt, to the Administrator, and to himself. He deserved so much worse than the pain he was experiencing now. “God!” He threw his broken fist into the wall, leaving a new print of blood. The pain was incredible, wavering his vision and knotting his stomach, but it still wasn't enough. He threw the other fist next, breaking it as well. “Stupid! Stupid!” He screamed, tears rolling down faster now, hitting the wall again and again.

Tavish lunged forward and grabbed at the other man’s arms before he even knew what he was doing. He couldn’t just stand by any longer, even knowing Soldier might try flip out again.  
“Jane! Stop it!” He tried to put Soldier into a full nelson, all the while screaming at him. “It wasnae your fault! Pleas just stop it, it wasnae your fault!”

Jane cried harder. He was sure he must look absolutely pathetic, he didn't remember ever crying this much in his life. Apologies bubbled up from his lungs as Tavish tried to restrain him. Jane’s struggling began to slow, his movement now was only the steady tremors shaking his limbs.

“I-I…I'm so sorry Tav.” He hadn't used that name in years. “I'm so…so sorry…” He was choking and stuttering on his words, practically hyperventilating. “I'm sorry…Please…” Please what? Forgive me? He didn't deserve that. “Please…please…”

The stress finally got to him, and without warning his legs couldn't support him anymore, andSoldier’s weight sent them both to the ground. Tavish waited a moment before loosening his hold, making sure his friend was well and truly calm. They were left in a sort of quasi-embrace, not quite a hug, but not really a restraining move either. Tavish shifted, moving so they were both sitting.

“It’s not your fault,” He repeated. He wanted to comfort his friend, let him know everything was all right, but he could barely keep back his own tears. “It was mine . I dinnae even hesitate, I just believed them like a bloody fool, without thinkin’ for a moment. I should’ve know you wouldnae’ve done it if you dinnae have a reason. I should’ve…”

A sob escaped him. He tightened his arms around Jane, pressing his forehead against the back of the Soldier’s helmet.

The sound of the Demoman beginning to cry wiped away any remaining doubt about what had transpired all those years ago. As much as Jane didn't like it, finally knowing the truth did leave him feeling slightly calmer.

Then there was having Demo's arms wrapped loosely around him, with the man's chest pressed to his back. It was probably the best feeling in the world. He savoured it for a moment, but the Scott's gentle crying gnawed at his chest.

“It's not your fault Tavish,” he said, voice still watery. Jane wiped his face on his sleeve and gently untangled himself from the Demoman's grip, scooting to sit next to the man, both their backs up against the bed. They needed to talk properly about all of this, and what it meant for them in the future.

The Soldier reached up to remove his helmet, but hesitated. It was honestly like a safety blanket for him, behind the over-sized steel he was safe from stares and eye contact, he didn't have to worry about people seeing too much of who he was. Back before the War, Tavish had been the only person he'd felt comfortable enough around so to occasionally take it off. This Demo here was the old Tavish again though, and they needed to talk face to face.

Slowly he removed it and dropped it on the floor, a metallic sound echoed around the room, making Tavish jump. Despite managing to remove it, Jane still did not having the nerve to look the Demo in the eye.

“It’s both our faults,” Demo disagreed, “which means it’s mine too.”

What he wanted to say next was cut off by another sob. Using every bit of will he still had left, he looked up at the Soldier next to him.

He had been right about Jane being old. The War seemed to have matured him by decades, well beyond the four years it had been. Even though Jane wasn’t looking at him, he took a long time to take in every detail of his friend’s face; the contour of his nose, the way his brow gave him a determined look, the redness painting his eyes after crying so hard. Jane never removed the helmet unless he felt safe. Did he really trust Tavish that much, even after all these years?

“I want tae go back Jane. I know that’s a lot tae ask, after everythin’ we’ve done tae each other, but…” He stared, trying to get Jane to look him in the eye. “Would you be willin’ tae try?”

Not trusting his voice, Jane opted to just nod. He blinked a few times before attempting a glance at the Demo, not expecting the man to already be looking at him. The sudden eye contact startled him, and his gaze bounced around the room before settling back on the Scott.

“I want to go back to how things were…If you could possibly forgive me for everything,” Jane said, tracing his fingers though the light dusting of dirt on the floor. “It's been hard…these last three years.”

He was nervous about opening up again, but after keeping everything bottled up for so long he just couldn't keep it in any longer.

“I didn't know any better before, but after having a friend like you…I didn't know how to go back to just being alone all the time,” Jane sighed. “I guess you could say you were more to me than just a friend, I mean…I never felt like I belonged anywhere until I met you…and…Wherever you were was like…home.” A flush bloomed across his cheeks. He sounded like a teenage girl, but couldn't think of any other way to explain himself. “I miss that.”

“You dunnae know what it means tae hear that,” Tavish replied, gaining control of his voice for the first time in what felt like ages.

Home. That was a good way to put it.

“You’re me best mate Jane,” Tavish said, making sure to use the present tense. “I was never more miserable than when you were gone. I’m willin’ tae forgive you, and I hope you’re willin’ tae forgive me for what I-” He thought back to the day on the roof, watching Jane being murdered and taking a sick pleasure in watching. “…For everythin I’ve done tae you.”

“Of course I forgive you…” Jane breathed. “And...I'm sorry for what I said the other day. I dunno what I was thinking, or I guess I wasn't thinking at all. I'm sorry for all of it. It's been so long I can't even remember everything I've done.”

Looking down at his hands the Soldier suddenly found himself reminded of what he'd done to himself. The bleeding of both knuckles had slowed, but there were red stains smeared all over his uniform, and they still hurt pretty bad. He pushed himself upright and opened the drawer in his bedside table, rummaging around for the first aid kit he kept there.

With shaking hands he tried to open the kit, but it slipped out of his throbbing fingers and ended up scattering it's contents on the floor. Checking his hands again they probably needed to be cleaned as well. He crouched down and started awkwardly trying to pick up the spilled bandages.

“Here, let me help,” Demo said, standing up himself.

Scooping up the rest of the bandages, he eyed over Soldier’s self-inflicted injuries.

“Let’s go to the bathrooms. It should be fine, there’s no one in there this time of night.”

Jane nodded and followed the Demoman out the room and down the hallway towards the bathroom. He felt a momentary panic when he realized he'd forgotten his helmet, but what the Demo had said about them being unlikely to run into anyone was true, so he was able to relax again.

Tavish opened the door for Jane, doing his best to avoid making the injured Soldier use his hands. Any other time Jane would have complained about not being some old lady needing to be helped around, but it really wasn't the time for that.

Jane walked over to the sink, and was able to wash his hands by himself. They felt thick and stiff, almost as if he was wearing five pairs of gloves at once. They would probably need the medigun to heal the broken bone properly, but that could wait until tomorrow. Jane shook off the excess water, and Tavish motioned for him to sit on the counter. Jane did so, and felt oddly like a kid that had skinned his knee, rather than a full grown man that had punched a wall multiple times.

“You know,” Demo said, cleaning the knuckles a second time with the antiseptic wipe, “back when we would always get intae trouble ‘n such, I always felt like I was takin’ care o’ you. Nae in a bad way o’ course, but like how takin’ care o’ me Mum makes me feel useful. Sure, startin’ a fight with traffic cops or gettin’ intae a bar brawl’s a riot, but it’s good tae take some time ‘n recover every now ‘n then.” He opened the antibiotic ointment. “O’ course, I never told you any o’ that. If you thought I was babyin’ you, you would o’ punched my lights out.” He gave the Soldier a playful wink.

“I would have.” Jane couldn't help but smirk. “And I still might! I'm sure your mother is one of the best old ladies out there, but I'm still pretty sure I don't like being compared to one.”

It was all bravado. He didn't really like the idea that Tavish had to look after him all the time, but the fact that he even wanted to, and apparently treated Jane like family, warmed his heart.

“I don't really know what that's like though, having family I mean.” Jane found himself bringing up a topic they hadn't ever really discussed, even before there War. “My memory's bad…I can't remember much of anything from before my tour in Germany. Now that I think about it, that's a big chunk of time to forget.” He looked down, watching the gentle motions of the Demoman applying the ointment. “I don't even know if I actually had a family…If I did they must be dead…or I had some other reason to forget.” Jane felt he had opened up too much already, but just couldn't seem to stop. “Hearing you talk about your mom, and all the other guys talking about their parents and siblings…It sounds nice.”

Tavish swallowed. He wasn’t sure how to address that. To just forget your whole childhood…

“I can relate, sorta…” he began. He wasn’t sure how much Jane would like having his home life compared to Tavish’s. “My folks gave me up.” He didn’t check to see if Jane was looking, merely reached for the bandages on the side of the counter. “It’s a Highlander family tradition: givin’ up your kids until they develop their bomb-makin’ skills. It’s a bit…archaic.”

The wrapping motion was almost therapeutic, binding the one hand into glove that still offered a little dexterity. He moved on to the other hand, testing it gently. This one was definitely broken, but he got the feeling Jane didn’t want to see Medic after all the shit the man had put them through.

“Even after I got adopted it was pretty terrible. There was an accident with…” He didn’t want to bring that up now. He could stomach the whole shit storm that was his early life as long as he didn’t have to think about that day. “Well, anyway, long and short is that my first parents died. After that, I was reunited with me Mum and Da, and improved me skills tae boot.”

He finished wrapping the second hand, making it stiffer than the other one so the bones wouldn’t shift.

“You know,” he said, still holding the Soldier’s hand gently in his own, “I’m surprised you havnea met me Mum before. She’d love you. She’d think you’re the greatest thing since they invented short fuses.” He gave Jane a small grin.

“You think so?” Jane asked, sounding maybe a little too hopeful. “I know I don't always make the best first impressions.”

Jane looked down at where their hands were still connected. Tavish had finished bandaging them, but had yet to let go. The Soldier found himself gently tracing the creases of his palm with what little movement was left in his fingers. His skin felt surprisingly soft, considering the heavy weaponry he used all day.

His brain suddenly let off a warning signal. This is wrong, stop touching him. Jane jerked his hand away, pretending to look at the bandaging and examine the Demoman's handiwork.

“Thank you for this…and everything,” He sighed with a smile. “I guess it's pretty late…We do have a mission tomorrow.” It was true, but the reluctance to leave was apparent in his voice.

“I suppose,” Demo agreed regretfully. “A man can only apologize so much before his tongue falls off.”

Tavish followed Jane back to his room, giving his old friend one last goodnight.

They both slept soundly for the first time in years.


	7. Chapter 7

The next day was like looking up the mountains after only ever seeing desert all your life. The Demoman sucked dry air into his lungs like it was the water of life, jumping out of bed and getting dressed immediately. Last night hadn’t been a dream, had it?

But when he went downstairs to see red uniforms bustling about their breakfast, the Soldier was sitting in the middle of them. Soldier always ate his breakfast early, specifically to avoid the Demoman. But today Jane was here, and when he turned to Tavish he didn’t greet him with a snarl or spiteful glance, but smiled. Actually smiled.

Those imaginary mountains rose up before him, higher than his hopes, daring him to climb up.

He sat next to Jane, carefully sharing a secret smile with the other man. They ate breakfast without saying anything, just glad for each other’s company. It didn’t go unnoticed.

Sniper glanced between the two of them like he was watching cats and dogs have lunch. He shot an incredulous look to the Demoman, who only shrugged in response. Maybe he would tell Sniper about it later, but for now, the moment was too private for words.

Medic was ecstatic. He kept flitting about them, trying to be discreet and failing. No doubt he was dying to tell the rest of the team that he was the one to fix their friendship.

It wasn’t until they made their way to the weapons lockers that Demo noticed Soldier wasn’t wearing the Gunboats. Perhaps that shouldn’t have surprised him. He thought about the Eyelander, still lying upstairs in a pile of dirty laundry and he couldn’t bring himself to care. The scrumpy bottle was better anyways.

As he loaded up his launcher with pills for the day, he noticed there was one other person that wasn’t surprised with the new-found alliance. Demo glanced up to see the Spy staring at him, a lit cigarette in his fingers. When Demo looked at him, he gave a slight shake of his head, and turned to leave.

What did that mean?

It suddenly dawned on Demo that Spy was probably the one who attained the tape in the first place; there was just no way Medic got it on his own. There were other things in that video…Miss Pauling…the implications about RED and BLU…

The Demoman shook his head. He didn’t give a rat’s ass about implications. His best friend was back beside him, and that was all that mattered. RED and BLU could wait.

Jane, too, felt better than ever. The Medic had given him a burst from the medigun, fixing up his hands, and he'd left the gunboats behind for the first time in years, leaving him feeling lighter than air. And Tavish was here, standing beside him as they waited for the first wave of robots to arrive. He couldn't believe they were going to fight side-by-side, it had been completely inconceivable back before the War. He didn't care about the RED and BLU nonsense, (well, he cared enough to want to kick the asses of everyone responsible for the War) but he was just so content that he didn't want to get himself down.

Finally, the countdown started, and all the mercenaries readied themselves for the incoming robots. The wave went amazingly well, Soldier had no idea that him and the Demo had been such a detriment to the team. Without them actively avoiding each other things flowed a lot more smoothly, and everyone's teamwork seemed to have improved greatly. In between rounds they still compared scores, but now it was just friendly competition, something to keep them from getting lazy.

“Hmm, it seems I just destroyed that tank by myself,” Jane boasted, completely ignoring the Heavy who had been drilling bullets into it the last few minutes. “What have you been doing Demo? Playing tea party with Engie?” The question was directed at the unlucky Demo, who had run out of ammo right before the tank was destroyed.

“A tea party?” Demo laughed. “Is that what you call standin’ around, suckin’ up all his dispenser ammo?” Which was actually a smart move in Soldier’s case, as Demo was constantly forgetting his own ammo upgrades. “I’ll make you eat those words next round boyo! Or drink ‘em as the case may be.”

He gave Soldier a smile, just to let him know it was all in good fun.

Soldier let out his signature chuckle, and saluted his friend before rocket jumping back to the spawn for more upgrades.

* * *

The difficulty definitely ramped up in the next round. They weren't that far in and the Scout had already managed to get himself killed three times. Currently, Jane and Tavish were taking turns holding the robots back. The Soldier would unload rockets at the oncoming robots, while the Demoman reloaded and healed by the Engineer's dispenser. They would then switch places. The strategy seemed to be working well, until he heard the cry of “sentry buster!” come from someone closer to the gate.

Looking down the road he saw big bomb-looking monstrosity, and tried firing at it. Engie had already hopped to work packing up his sentry and was out of there in a jiffy. It was obvious that there was no destroying it before it reached the dispenser, so it was time to retreat.

“Go!” Soldier yelled, and he and the Demoman escaped to the roof a few moments before the machine exploded.

Nobody was killed by the blast, and the Engineer was already setting up on the roof, but it was still disappointing to have their strategy taken away so easily.

“Damn these buckets of bolts,” Soldier grumbled.

“C’mon,” Demo said, slapping his friend on the back. “We turned the badlands intae a hellscape tryin’ tae tear each other apart. Now that we’re on the same side, there’s nothin’ that can stand in our way!”

And he meant it. With Jane beside him, he felt invulnerable, and no unending horde of robots was going to tear them down.

The team rallied for the last few rounds, destroying a tank and a giant Pyro before a Heavy dropped onto the battlefield. Demo waited until Sniper’s shot had pierced all 8 Medic’s heads, then charged in from around the corner. He dropped as much damage as he could, emptying out both weapons before charging off to re-

A sniper’s bullet took out his leg. Their own human Sniper quickly took out the offending robot, but it was too late. He couldn’t even take stand to try a sticky jump, which might have killed him anyway. And now the giant Heavy was turning its attention to him, and, more importantly, the barrel of its gun.

Like a majestic eagle, the Soldier soared into action. With two quick rocket jumps he skidded to a halt in between the robot and his best friend.

“Take this you rust bucket!” Jane yelled, rapidly firing rocket after rocket at the giant Heavy. The Demo had honestly done most of the work taking it's health down, Soldier just had to finish the job. He was a bit too slow though, and the Heavy's gun finished spinning up before he finished the fight.

Bullets pierced his flesh, but he had health to spare, the Demo wasn't so lucky. Keeping himself firmly planted between the two he readied his shotgun, one he was only able to carry thanks to leaving the gunboats behind, and fired two shots. This whittled down the last bit of health and the Heavy was destroyed in an explosion of smoke and money.

Jane was now pretty badly damaged as well, but he could still walk, so he grabbed Demo under the arms before he could protest, and dragged him back to where he knew the Medic would be.

“Never leave a man behind!” he stated with a grin, too pleased with himself to care about the amount of blood leaving his body.

For Tavish, It all seemed to happen so quickly. One minute his was looking death straight in the face, and the next Soldier stood in front of him, defending him from the hail of bullets. Then, Soldier was dragging him off, depositing him in front of the flabbergasted Medic while his savoir charged right back into the fight.

The battle raged around him, and by the time he was able to stand, the last of the machines had been destroyed. Victory was confirmed by a whooping cheer from the Engineer, which the rest of the team echoed. Demo gingerly touched his healed leg.

Soldier had saved him. Not only saved him, but stood between him certain death like some medieval knight, challenging them to try and touch his best friend. The wave of guilt that swept through the Demoman sent him back to his knees.

Tavish hadn’t done the same. All those weeks ago, he had stood by and watched the bats rain down on his friend and done nothing. Maybe Jane had forgiven him for everything else, but he still didn’t know about that particular incident. It was beyond dishonourable. It was…

Demo felt like he was going to vomit.

Carefully pulling himself back to his feet, he looked around at his celebrating teammates. Medic had already gone back to spawn, and a few others had disappeared through the teleporter too, but Soldier was still here.

“Hey,” he said, walking up to where his friend was laughing with the Engineer. “I wanted tae thank you for what you did back there. And I also wanted…” He tried to keep the smile plastered to his face. “Can I talk to you for a minute? Alone?”

“Of course, Tav,” Jane said with a smile, not sensing the other man's nerves. He turned back to the Engineer.

“I'll catch up with you later Engie, go on on ahead.”

“Alright Soldier, I'll see you at dinner.” The short Texan stepped through the portal, which burst into a pile of shrapnel behind him.

“So, what do you want to talk about?”

Tavish lead them to ledge on the side of the street, sitting down and gazing over the battlefield. The spot had a view of the roof where it all happened, and the sight of it didn’t help Demo feel much better.

“I know we said we were forgivin’ each other for everythin’,” Demo began. “But…I have one last confession to make.”

He took a deep breath. Tavish was glad for the helmet, not having to look at Soldier’s eyes while the mercenary still had it on. The electric blue of his eyes might remind him of how they looked that day, wide open in terror. If it were in Demo’s power, he would make sure they never looked like that again.

“It was the first day o’ the robot war, when we had our little competition. You got trapped by a bunch o’ scouts, I guess you were out o’ ammo or somethin’. They swarmed you…and I saw everythin’.”

He barrled on, not checking Soldier for a response.

“I just…watched. I dinnae try to help or nothin’. I thought you were gettin’ what you had comin’, so I just stood there, even when you were yellin’ for help I-”

He stopped, the screams too vivid in his mind.

“And with what you did for me today…God Jane I’m so sorry. But I dunnae want tae just say sorry. I want tae make you a promise. I’ll never leave you like that again: from now on, if you need my help, I’ll be there for you no matter what. That was somethin’ I couldn’t promise back when we worked for RED and BLU, but now I can and will. If it comes down between you and the mission, or Mann Co., or _anythin’_ , I’ll always choose you.”

The Soldier sat silently, just listening while the Demoman got everything he needed to say off his chest.

“Tavish…” Soldier calmly placed a hand on Demo’s arm. “I'm not mad at you for what you did. We still hated each other then, I probably would have done the same thing if I was in your place.” It was true, he felt no sense of anger over Demo's confession, though he was grateful that what he'd done seemed to bother the Demoman a great deal now that they were friends again. “Just try to forget about it, and everything else that happened before. We can't get those three years back, but we can make up for lost time by just…living in the moment, and killing as many robots as possible.”

He paused, giving the Demoman a smile.

“Don't worry Tavish, I won't let anyone fool me like that again. If I hear something weird I'll ask you about it, because you are the most trustworthy person I know. And don't think I wouldn't also give op this job and Mann Co. and everything for you. There isn't anyone out there willing to sacrifice more for their friends than me!” Jane puffed out his chest proudly, before throwing an arm around The Demoman's neck and dragging him close. “Now let's get back to base, I'm starving!”

* * *

The days after their great reunion passed much like the first. The two were a nightmare on the battlefield, turning robots into scrap wherever the hot-headed duo turned. Their combined damage out ranked even Heavy and Medic’s, (the two having found companionship after deciding the other was a satisfactory replacement.) Demo began to recognize Soldier’s fighting style, getting more and more comfortable every day with his friends tendencies. He could predict which way Soldier would rocket-jump even before he had landed from his last one, foreseeing unknown enemies just by which way Jane fired his shots. Soon, the twosome developed an entire form of nonverbal communication even the robots couldn’t match.

All nine of them were like a well-oiled machine, (pun intended), and slowly, they began to drive the robots back.

As much fun as turning Coaltown into a junkyard was, it couldn’t top the wonderful nights spent on base. It was just like how they had been before, only now there was no reason to hide it. They ate together, drank together, laughed, joked, all in the company of their team. Demo couldn’t think of a time when he’d been happier.

He _was_ happy. But that wasn’t the only thing he felt.

He knew they were coming back: the old emotions, the ones he had such a good hold on before. The way Jane would sometimes brush up during dinner would set it off, or the way he would grin when they executed a particularly good combo. They were familiar to Tavish, and he didn’t squelch them so much as put them on a high shelf, out of sight and out of mind. He knew he loved Jane, he’d known for a long time, but it would never lead anywhere.

He would think back to all their times before the War, sitting in bars with women on their arms, laughing and having a good time. Tavish had been very good at faking the signs; after all, he’d had a lot of practice. Once, they’d been in their usual spot when a pair of men dressed in wigs and make-up passed, looking like they were having the time of their lives. Tavish had been happy for them, smiling until he’d heard Jane make a few choice comments in their direction.

It didn’t start a fight, but the words had meaning anyway. Tavish knew he’d never be entirely safe with Jane.

But none of that mattered. Jane cared about Tavish; the entire night with the broken knuckles had shown him that. The fact that it was a different way from the way Tavish cared about Jane was insignificant.

Besides, any longing he might have felt was nothing compared to the pain of the War. He’d rather pine for a thousand years than have Jane hate him again. And so, all things considered, life was pretty good.

“Tavish! I've been looking for you all over!” yelled an excited Jane. Tavish, the man in question, sat tiredly at the kitchen table, stuffing his face with cereal. “I didn't think you would be up this early, but you weren't in your room, so I checked the lab, then the rec room, then…”

Jane continued to list of the places he'd looked, counting them off his fingers.

“Anyways! I was helping Engie sort through the junk in the storage room yesterday and we found an old movie projector! There was a seven foot screen too, that's practically theater size!” Jane was nearly bouncing with excitement, he hadn't gone to the theater in years, and the poor TV signal they got all the way out at the base wasn't useful for much more than watching the news. “Anyway, I had the fantastic idea of organizing some team bonding with a movie night! We can get some films sent in with the next shipment of supplies, and watch them next Saturday! Engie said he would get the projector setup if everyone else agreed to watch. So…” He lifted up the clipboard he'd been holding. It already had Scout and Pyro's signature on it. “Will you sign it?”

Tavish smiled. This was when Jane was at his most adorable, when he had an idea and when he was excited about it. Tavish made a mental note never to mention the adorable part aloud.

“Sure, I’ll sign. In fact, I’ll do you one better.” Tavish finished off his last bit of cereal. “I’ll help you convince the rest of the team tae sign in. I’ll get Sniper and Spy if you get the rest.”

“Ok! Thanks Tav.” The Soldier watched Demo sign the paper, and then the two went off in their separate directions. Medic and Heavy ended up being easier to convince than the Soldier expected, all he had to do was keep asking until they caved and signed the sheet to make him go away. Jane thought the Spy would be hard to convince, but when he found him with the Demo he just walked over and signed it without so much as a word. With a last signature from Sniper, the movie night was a go.

The next day Jane popped in on the meeting between the Engineer, Spy, and Medic. Those three were the ones in charge of deciding what supplies needed to be delivered. He showed Engie the clipboard of names, and then scribbled down the titles of some movies on the order sheet before handing it back to the group.

Jane was so excited that whenever he wasn't busy he would wait near the front of the base, waiting for supplies to be delivered. They always came on Wednesday, but he wanted to watch and wait just in case.

Sure enough, after battle on Wednesday the crates of supplies had arrived. The Soldier dug through the boxes before anyone else arrived. Out of the list of films he has supplied, only three of them were sent. He figured that was fair, as it might be hard to find copies that would work on such an old projector, and three was a perfectly fine number for a movie night. All that was left was to wait for Saturday to come.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some of you may have already noticed there's been a few delays in updates, so I'm changing the schedule to Sundays and Thursdays. Sorry about the inconvenience!


	8. Chapter 8

Saturday morning Jane did his best to help the Engineer set up the projector. He wasn't so good with machines, but lifting things was easy.

“Could you try moving that couch back a few more feet?” Engie asked. The two were currently trying to find a way to fit the unexpectedly large screen frame into the rec room.

“Understood!” The Soldier grabbed the couch and slid it back further from the front of the room, finally creating enough space for the projector.

“Phew… Alright Soldier that should be good. Now you're just going to have to put the chairs and everything back in a way so that everyone can see, but they don't block the projector beam.” With that, Engie's work was done, and he left Jane to puzzle out the correct placement of furniture.

It was turning out harder than he expected. Two couches here and the chair blocked the screen, spread out the couches and they covered the projector, put all the chairs on one side and there was no legroom. With a defeated sigh Jane flopped onto the couch. He was a military man, not some sort of interior design furniture scientist.

“Need some help Jane?”

Demo hung his head over the couch, getting an upside-down view of his friend. Usually he wouldn’t use real names outside of their rooms, but it appeared they were alone in the jumbled living room.

He began to move the couch Jane wasn’t on, pushing it all the way back until it blocked the kitchen. The door to the hall was still open, and the other exit didn’t matter unless they cared about fire safety.

“Sniper’s tall, he’ll have tae sit in the back,” Tavish explained as he carefully orchestrated the furniture. “Heavy too. And Medic will want tae sit next tae him, now that they’re all buddy-buddy.” Tavish scooted a chair to the left side of the couch. “Nae that they can be a better team than us, mind you.”

He jumped over the couch, returning from the kitchen with a stool. “No matter what he says, Engie will want tae work the projector.” He put the stool behind the machine.

Grabbing a blanket, he tossed it on the floor. “Pyro likes tae sit on the floor, ‘n Scout will pretend like he doesn’t but will want tae anyways. Spy’ll watch but it certainly won’t be from anywhere we can see him.”

“Which leaves you and me-” the Demoman said, falling down next to Soldier, “-right here.”

“I know… That's what I was doing,” Jane said, convincing nobody. They stayed like that for a few minutes, Soldier with his legs hanging over the armrest, and Demo sitting just a few inches away.

“We are starting the movies at seven, make sure you're on time,” Jane reminded him sternly. “I don't want you missing anything, all the films are really good. I know because I picked them. Also Engie is making popcorn, and you should make sure to get some before Heavy and Scout eat it all…”

The Soldier was very concerned with making sure the Demoman would have a good time. As much as Jane had just been excited about seeing some movies, he also wanted it to be a fun thing to do with his best friend.

“You worry too much lad,” Demo replied. Soldier could be just as persnickety as Engie when it came making plans. If Solider thought up an idea, and it kept his interest, he wanted to make it absolutely perfect. “It’ll go great, just you watch.”

* * *

The movie began, and they were in much the same positions they had been that morning, only now joined by the rest of the team. The movie was a war film, to no one’s surprise, and Demo tried to suppress any negative thoughts he might have about it. It was alright in his opinion, but hopefully it wouldn't be the better of the three.

There was plenty of space on the couch, but he and Soldier sat next to each other anyways, splitting a bowl of popcorn between the two of them. Demo didn’t have to look over at his friend to know Jane was absolutely entranced with the screen.

Jane was enthralled, but not so much that he didn't observe his idea had been a success. As hesitant as most of the mercs had been, they'd all shown up. At the very least a movie night was a change to the regular humdrum of life on the base.

It was nice to have one of his ideas work out for once.

A big battle scene had begun up on the big screen, and Jane subconsciously leaned closer to it. Scenes like this were his favourite part. With lots of explosions and Nazis being killed, what wasn't there to like? He stuck his hand into the popcorn without looking away from the screen, and accidentally bumped the Demoman's hand. He didn't think much of it, scooping up a handful of the snack and stuffing it unceremoniously into his mouth.

An electric shock went up Tavish’s arm. He swiftly quieted the feeling, regaining control of himself with practiced ease. Things like that happened sometimes, but it was nothing he couldn’t handle. He settled back to keep watching the movie.

The Demoman must have had a memory like a goldfish, for not 20 minutes after they started the second film, Demo made another mistake. It was a reflex really, just a long stretch that ended with him putting his arm over the back of the couch.

Right over Jane’s shoulders.

He froze, wondering if the other man had noticed yet. Quickly, he began coming up with ways to discretely withdraw his arm with no one the wiser.

The Soldier didn't notice anything at first because he was sitting up straight, but a few more minutes in and he began to feel tired, sinking in to the back of the couch. That's when he felt the Demoman's arm, slightly harder than the couch cushions. It pressed slightly into his upper back and neck, It wasn't uncomfortable though. If Demo didn't want attention drawn to it though he was effectively pinned there for the rest of the movie.

Luckily for him, before starting the third and final movie everyone decided to take a quick break. Either to stretch their legs, take a piss, or grab a drink from the fridge. This meant that the Soldier finally moved off the poor Demoman's arm, saying something about taking a leak much louder than was socially acceptable, and disappearing off down the hallway.

Tavish had to suppress a breath of relief as Soldier marched off to the bathroom. Jane had definitely noticed, but had the good grace not to draw attention to the unwanted arm. Crisis averted.

And yet…

It had felt good to sit like that. It was almost natural, sitting, watching a movie with his arm around Jane’s shoulders. It was so ridiculously close…

Demo smashed those thoughts away. He wasn’t here to take advantage of Jane’s trust, and that included deriving a weird pleasure from being close to him. Sure, he could still harbour his feelings, but this crossed a line.

From now on, he would keep his hands to himself. No matter how good even the fleeting contact felt.

Trying to return to his seat, Jane found himself having a dilemma. The problem was where to sit. The popcorn was finished now, so they no longer had a reason to sit so close. Jane could sit at the opposite side of the couch, giving them both the maximum amount of room, but at the same time it might be rude to sit so far when they'd been sitting together for most of the night. He didn't want Tavish thinking that he only sat near him for convenience. Lastly, there was the fact that he liked sitting near his best friend. It also meant he could make sure he paid attention to the best parts of the movie.

The odds seemed better if he returned to his previous spot, so with an act of being overly casual he fell onto the seat. One problem. It was a bit too close. They'd had the popcorn bowl as a buffer before, now Jane had just sat down right next to him. Oops. Jane found were close enough that their thighs touched, and thought maybe he should move away, but wasn't really sure. He really was thinking too much.

They were so close their thighs touched and Demo could faintly feel Jane’s hipbone against his own. How could he be expected to chill when Jane had become so touchy-feely all of a sudden?

He would have to ignore it. As the third movie began, he tried to draw as little attention as possible, glancing around the room to see if anyone had noticed. Sniper was asleep, and, surprisingly, so was Medic. Heavy sat between them, so bored that didn’t spare a glance to anyone else in the room.

Engie was wrapped up in the projector and Scout and Pyro were wrapped up in the movie. With a jolt, Demo realized he had no idea where Spy was, but that one was out of his control. For now, he would have to suffer the torture. The warm, butterflies-in-your-stomach torture.

This last movie was really more of a drama than an action-adventure. It focused on the story of two best friends from a small town, closer than brothers, and the things they suffered through being thrust into battle at the young age of 18. The movie was reaching it's climax, the first boy had been shot and left to bleed out in the mud. After many painstaking minutes, his friend found him, pulling the boy into his arms.

“Kenny! Kenny hold on! I've got you!”

“Andrew… I'm… I'm not gonna make it.”

Somewhere on the floor there was a choked sob. It was Scout, poor kid was probably reminded of his own brothers.

“No Kenny you gotta! We was gonna tell all the girls about our adventures! Don't you remember?”

Kenny coughed up blood, throwing up a muddy hand to grasp Andrew's shirt.

“You can still do it Andrew… -cough- … Make it outta this place alive. And when you get back to our town I want you to live life your life with no regrets. Live it for both of us.”

“Damnit Kenny I-”

“Promise me Andrew, just promise.” The poor boy's voice was getting weaker by the second.

“I promise Kenny…. “

Jane was definitely not crying. Sure maybe his eyes were a little wet and he was resisting the urge to sniffle, but he was definitely not crying. There was just nothing more beautiful than the bond of brothers in arms. As he watched the boy on the screen's life fade away, he found himself thinking about the Demoman.

What if there was no respawn, what if they too faced this kind of death every day? He'd done it back in Germany, but that was a solo mission, he only had himself to worry about. Would he be able to handle fighting alongside Tavish if there was a risk of him being gone forever?

A tear finally spilled over and rolled down his face, but it wasn't for the movie.

Ten minutes later and the projector clicked off for the night. Slowly, the Teufort Nine began to recover, groaning in pain as Engie turned on the lights.

Demo wasted no time, standing and stretching as a cover. The night of awkward touching was over. In a way, he was a little disappointed; he was hoping to spend some quality time with his friend, and had ended up just being anxious about one thing after another. He thought back to that morning, how he had chided Jane for worrying so much.

“I should learn to take me own advice,” he muttered to himself.

He turned to Jane, to ask him how he liked the movie, but stopped.

“Soldier? You alright lad?”

“I-It's not what you think!” Jane yelled on reflex, probably drawing more attention than he wanted. “I mean, I'm fine, nothing strange going on here.”

He quickly scrubbed his sleeve over his eyes, in order to wipe away the evidence of his slightly tearful moment. He waited for the rest of the team to clear out, Engie would dismantle the setup tomorrow, as everyone was tired and ready to get to sleep.

“So did you like it?” He asked earnestly. “All three movies showcased fine American cinema and military. We really can do it all.”

“The first one was alright. I liked the second two a lot better,” Tavish lied. The first one was the only one he truly paid attention to, the others playing while he was a bit distracted. But for now, he decided to assume he would have enjoyed them had he been watching. “But I think whether I liked them or not, you set up a great team bonding night. I had a good time.”

Jane just smiled at him, appreciating the honest praise.  
Demo gave the team one last goodnight, and dragged himself to bed.

* * *

“Bigrock is much larger than Coaltown,” Pauling continued to the assembled mercenaries. “It has two spawn points, making it more difficult to defend against larger waves of robots. We detected Grey’s presence there approximately 48 hours ago, and have made arrangements to defend against him. This will a far more complex battle than Coaltown, and we need you at your best, even with your newfound efficiency. The bus will arrive in 4 hours. Good luck.”

As Demo packed, he reflected on the past half a year at their first base. This place had been his home for a lot longer than any other base; back at RED they ended usually switching maps after only one or two months. Not only had he been here a lot longer, but it held more emotional significance than any other building ever had. He had re-found his best friend. He had forged his team out of bits of discarded RED and BLU. It was a place of hope.

But it was also time to move on. Sure this is where his friendships had formed, but it wasn’t the building that had made them. It was the people, and those were the things he was taking with.

The bus arrived just when Pauling said it would. The little woman was standing outside it, clipboard in hand, making sure all nine of them were assembled. Demo still hated her, but there was nothing he could do about it; an indication he knew the war was a sham would get him buried in a shallow grave twenty miles from Las Vegas. So instead he quietly seethed, pretending like Pauling meant as much to him as the ants on the ground.

He distracted himself with the arrival of Soldier, bounding up to him as soon as he appeared.

“Hey Solly, excited tae be shippin’ out?”

“Yessir!” Jane replied, stopping beside the Demoman. The Soldier glanced at Ms. Pauling, remembering the tape. He scowled, as bad as hiding his feelings as ever.

“So… I guess we shouldn't be too close when she's around.” Jane sighed. “I mean we are getting along 'for the sake of the team' not because we know about the war…I guess I'll talk to you later.”

To Demo’s disappointment, Soldier shuffled away to stand near the Medic as Pauling finished her checklist. Pauling wouldn't be riding with them, she was too important for that, and had better things to do than babysit a bunch of men on a bus. Instead, she’d be riding with Spy, who was allowed to take his own vehicle for some reason.

They loaded their luggage into the cargo area and then one by one piled onto the bus. It was a lot bigger than necessary, but it had enough room for everyone to get their own space if they wanted it. Jane walked all the way to the back, sinking into the last row of seats and pressing his nose to the window.

He stared at Pauling as she made sure everyone got on before shutting the door. She saw him and gave a little wave. The Soldier jerked back from the window and pretended not to see it.

“Dinnae think you’d get rid o’ me that easily, did you?” Demo asked, appearing beside Soldier as soon as Pauling was out of sight. Soldier grinned.

They passed most of the bus ride with conversation, watching the sun set out the left window and the stars rise over the badlands. After a while, the day began to get to the both of them. Jane didn't mind the slow down in conversation, it was late and they were both tired, and he found he enjoyed the Demoman's company even in silence. There was a bit of a surprise when the Demo seemed to suddenly slide over, sinking against Jane's side. A very soft snore alerted him that the Demoman had fallen asleep.

He quickly glanced around the bus to see if anyone else had noticed. Scout, Pyro, Engie, and Sniper had all fallen asleep. Heavy and Medic were awake, but seemed absorbed in a game of cards.

With that settled he tried to move them into a more comfortable position. He twisted so his back was half against the window, and pulled the Demoman so that his head rested on Jane's front instead of his shoulder. He put an arm around Demo's chest to secure him in place, and make sure he didn't fall onto the floor if there was a particularly bumpy road.

Jane thought Tavish felt like a blanket, he was a warm weight that made him feel safe and protected. The man's gentle snoring brought memories from their various trips before the War, they'd slept in the same room a lot back then, he'd forgotten about it until now. He'd always liked those nights. The strange hotel rooms didn't seem so strange with Tavish there.

With the Demo's head on his chest he could smell him too, a shiver ran down his spine. He remembered going to bed after the movie night with the scent of Tavish still on his clothes. He would smell like him tomorrow too.

So warm, and so comfortable, Jane found himself drifting off.


	9. Chapter 9

Demo woke after a particularly harsh jolt of the bus.

He was surprised to find himself almost horizontal, lying against something that was very warm and making soft buzzing noises. It took a couple minutes to piece together the something was Soldier’s chest and the buzzing was his rhythmic snores. Demo’s mind flicked rapidly, trying to remember how he had gotten himself into this particular situation. He had defiantly been sitting up when he fell asleep, so how had…

Soldier’s arm was wrapped around him.

It was secure, holding him tightly to Jane even as he slept. Jane had obviously pulled Tavish onto his chest, and had left him to sleep soundly. Tavish shrugged internally. If Jane didn’t mind, neither did he.

He nuzzled further into Jane’s chest, the top of his head gently brushing against Jane’s chin. This was nice. Maybe it was just because he was just too tired to care, but it didn’t feel awkward like movie night had been. This felt safe, especially the way Soldier’s arm held him in place. Carefully, he took the arm that wasn’t pinned beneath him and wrapped it around Soldier’s back. Not they really were holding each other.

He was just about to fall back asleep when he heard Medic’s voice say “ _Aufwachen_ everyone! We are almost there.”

In a panic, Demo closed is eye and pretended to be asleep.

Jane's eyes blinked open at the sound of the Medic's voice, and he was almost blinded by the stream of sunlight coming through the window. He yawned and stretched, slipping his arm from around the Demoman and arching his back until it popped. Suddenly becoming fully aware of his surroundings, he noticed Tavish must have moved during the night, as he had an arm wrapped around him.

“Hey Tav, you gotta wake up,” he hissed, hoping for the team not to hear him. He prodded Demo not so gently in the forehead. “Psssssst! Wake up!”

“Ach!” Demo yelped at provocation, and immediately regretted it. He began to draw back, loosening his hold and straightening himself out. “Wha? What’s goin’ on?” he said, in his best ‘man who just woke up’ impression.

He looked around the bus, the others stretching and yawning as well. None of them had turned to the back, or had gotten a view of the little slumber party that had occurred. Tavish sighed, rubbing a little sleep from his eye.

“Mornin’ Jane. Sleep well?”

“Yeah, slept great.” Jane didn't mention exactly how great it felt being so close last night. With a deep breath he noticed the Demo's scent did indeed linger on his clothes.

“I think that's the new base.” Soldier pointed out the window at the bunch of buildings that appeared as they crested the hill, surrounded on all sides by rock and desert. Looked like a promising spot for a battle. “It'll be fun, new strategies to learn, more robots to kill. I'm excited.” He grinned.

“Me too,” Demo said. “I hoped I’m nae roomed next tae Heavy again. He snores like a deaf banshee.”

The mercenaries grabbed their gear and headed for the door. Before Pyro could take the first step out, Miss Pauling appeared in front of them.

“The first wave will be here in 5 hours. Only unpack those items necessary for the fight.”

Just as quickly as she arrived, she was gone. The team groaned.

“So much for gettin’ settled in,” Demo sighed. “You’d think her only purpose here is to tell us how long stuff is goin’ tae take.”

Jane grumbled an agreement.

Much like they had boarded, the mercenaries exited the bus one by one, getting counted by Pauling again. They unloaded the supplies from the bus, dropping their personal items and only stopping to grab special weapons and a quick change of clothes.

* * *

In a few hours, the team had cracked apart the few easy robots that always started off a round. As the day passed, the robots extended themselves far more viciously just like Pauling said they would, and Demo found himself dying. And not just dying to his own stupidity, but to the sheer numbers the robots were putting out. It was daunting to say the least.

He watched Jane get taken down on the eastern side of the map, but was much to far away to do anything. Those sort of events sickened him. He remembered back to when Jane had swooped in and saved him, diving in majestically like a hero out of legend. Demo now wanted to do the same for him, no matter how little death actually mattered to the both of them.

He had a promise to keep, dammit! This map was just to damn big!

Finally, after hours of unending machines, the waves came to a halt.

The team trudged back to base, tired but victorious, laughing and slapping each other on the back. Demo wasted no time, running to his yet unpacked bags and returning before most of the team had disbanded.

“Got a little present for you,” he said, dropping the gift in front of them. It was a case of quality beer, selected by the Demoman himself, and only arriving in their latest shipment of supplies. “After what we’ve been through today, and to christen our new home, we deserve a little party. It’s all on me lads, and there’s more where it came from!”

He didn’t have to tell them twice. Scout gleefully grabbed a bottle, the others following suit. They would all be smashed soon, even the Pyro who was taking their alcohol through a straw. Demo rushed upstairs to get the rest.

Jane didn't waste any time getting drunk, the team had done a great job even with all odds against them, and they all deserved a celebration. He'd finished the first bottle before the Demo returned, and was quick to get started on the next. Tavish settled next to him when he came back, and started a long speech about the history of this particular beer. Jane didn't care much, but was content just to listen to his friend talk.

An hour later and their drinking had slowed considerable, but the mood of the room was heightened. Medic was telling some story about how he 'accidentally' gave a man two left feet. Everyone was laughing, probably not well aware enough to be concerned. Someone else had another story after that, and then another, stories were told around the room while others listened, drank, and laughed.

More hours passed, and things quieted down. Scout was passed out in the middle of the floor, being the lightweight he was. Spy had left a while ago, he wasn't a fan of beer, and was likely too snooty to get inebriated with the team. Pyro had gone somewhere after the stories stopped. The remaining mercenaries continued to nurse their drinks and occasionally talk among themselves.

Jane has sunk lower and lower into the couch with each drink, now so squashed that his chin rested on his chest. He was tired, and the room swayed around in a fog, but it also felt incredibly comfortable.

“Do you think…there's a robot Pauling?” Jane asked through the haze. “Do you think she tells all the robots where to go…and…and what to do?

Under any normal circumstances, Demo wouldn’t have given it a second thought. But now, with his eighth beer sitting empty at the foot of the couch, he was drunk enough and content enough that it didn’t seem so ridiculous.

“I dunnae see why nae. They got the rest o’ us down tae a T.” Demo shook his head. “If so, I feel bad for ‘em. Poor, soulless monsters.”

As he began to nurse his ninth beer, his mind began to wander.

“If I can hijack your train ‘o thought for a moment,” he said, only his voice was a little slurred so it came out more like _’F I ken hijic yer traino’ thae fer a momen_ ’. “Do you think that the robots have…I dunno…fun?”

He glared at his beer, as though it might contain the secrets to the robot’s pastimes.

“Do they sit around like this, drinkin’, enjoyin’ each other’s company, or do they just stand in those metal boxes for weeks, asleep and waitin’ tae be turned on? Those demobots…they probably can’t even drink!” The thought upset him for some reason. “Bloody metal bastards dunnae even know what they’re missin’.” Now he was thinking about the creepy little monsters with the bright blue light bulbs in the center of her faces. He never thought he could pity those things, but now that he had started thinking about them, it was hard to stop. “Do you think…do you think that my bots ‘n your bots are friends?”

“I dunno…” Solider considered. “They probably dunno 'bout the War…'n…still hate each other. Assuming they are just like us from before this all started…” Jane felt sad, the idea of those thousands of demobots and soldierbots hating each other, and dying hating each other, it was horrible. “I feel bad for them…They don't get to hang out like this.” Jane scooted closer to Demo, and wiggled up against his side, relaxing with a huff. “Like…like this…They dunno what…it's like to be warm.”

“Oh is that the only thing you like me for?” Demo teased. “My body heat?”

“Maybe,” Jane smiled. “It's definitely a plus.”

Demo’s head fell to the side, landing on top of Soldier’s with a gentle pap. Eventually he would have to get up to grab another beer, but that was a concern for Future Tavish. Jane sipped his beer. There was just a bit of foam left, so he lifted up the bottle and knocked it against Demo's forehead.

“Tav…. Need more beer.”

“Is that my problem? Maybe I think you’re drunk enough as it is.” He shifted his head so his forehead pressed against the cool metal of the helmet. “Besides, you’re the one who got us into this situation. I never start a cuddle unless I’ve had twelve beers.”

“Taaaviiiishhh…” Jane whined, but he saw his point. He sighed and dropped the bottle on the floor with a thunk. The rest of the beer was still sitting on the table in the middle of the room, he stared at it longingly.

“It's so far…Why did you put it so far away.” He turned more towards the Demo, pressing his face to his chest.

“Careful with the real names, lad. We’re nae exactly alone.”

There was company policy against sharing real names, something Demo was pretty sure crossed over from RED to Mann Co.. Only Mick and Jane knew his real name, and he worried about allowing it to go beyond that. Even after everything he’d learned, he still felt the regulations of his old life breathing down his neck.

He observed the room, seeing if anyone had noticed. Medic stood, but it was only to drunkenly stumble to his room for the night. Sniper, who Medic had been talking to, didn’t even make it that far. He lied down on the floor next to Scout and fell asleep instantly.

“I’ll make you a deal,” he told the top of Jane’s helmet. “You get off me, and I’ll bring the beer over here. Then we can lie here, and nae have tae move for the rest o’ the night.”

“Mmm…I guess.” Jane really didn't want to let him go, but if he was coming right back then it was fine. He lifted himself off of Tavish and flopped against the armrest instead. He watched the Demoman grab the table and drag it closer, then picked them up a beer each.

Jane smirked, when the Demoman returned he kicked his leg out, hooking it around Tavish's knee and sending him tumbling onto he couch.

“You're so clumsy,” Jane chided.

“Ass,” Tavish grumbled. “You almost made me spill the beer.”

He breathed in the scent of musty couch for a second before taking his revenge. Tavish flopped over Jane, squishing him beneath his weight.

“Whoops. I guess you’re right. I _am_ clumsy.”

“Hrgh…” Jane wheezed as the breath was squeezed out of him. He could feel the dense muscles pressing against him through their clothes, but that didn't stop him from poking some fun. “Damn Demo…You gotta lose some weight.” He jabbed a finger into Demo's side. “You're gonna crush me at this rate.”

“And you would deserve it, too.”

Tavish shifted, getting more comfortable. He found one of Jane’s non-smushed hands and shoved a beer into it, cracking open his own. If he rested his chin on Jane just so, it wasn't too bad. It’s was actually kind of cozy, and, like Jane said, toasty warm.

“There, perfect. But if you tell me you have to go take a leak, I will strangle you meself.”

Things were more comfortable for Jane with Tavish's weight distributed evenly, one of those things being he could breathe.

Jane’s alcohol fogged brain didn't really register the properties of physics, and when he tried to drink the beer while laying down he ended up just spilling it on his face.

“Shit…” He mumbled, wiping his face with his sleeve. He took more care next time, craning his neck upwards enough to wrap his lips around the bottle before it spilled. It still tasted good even after drinking who knows how many. He reached out and put the bottle down on the table, turning back to look at Tavish all nestled in on his chest.

“What're you lookin' at?” Jane grumbled, staring back at Demo’s smirk. They could make eye contact like this, he suddenly realized, Demo could see right up under his helmet.

“You,” Demo smiled fondly, his eye being sucked towards Jane’s like it had it’s own gravitational pull. He took a sip of his beer, more practiced at horizontal drinking than the Soldier. “Or were you expectin’ me tae say ‘nae much’? I can if you like. That’s more appropriate banter.”

Another drink.

“But it’s nae really true,” Demo began, the philosophical part of the night not over apparently. “You’re so much Soldier. Nae too much, but you’re just so…”

He made a vague motion with his beer, sloshing a little down the side.

“Wherever you are, you’re always there. You got much-y-ness. And that’s great. I love that about you.”

Apparently, that was the extent of his speech. He dropped his face back onto Jane’s chest.

Jane wanted to blame the beer for the flush creeping up his cheeks, but that really wasn't the cause. He brought up a hand to start petting the back of Demo's neck.

“You got…so much more much…much more…more much….much-ness Demo.” He stumbled over the words. “I mean you're not just strong, you're smart too…Always talking science with Engie. And you got that…that…” He waved his hand as if trying to kick up the word he was looking for. “Thing. Y'know. You're good with women…and people. You're the type of guy everybody likes.”

It was true, despite all the insults he'd thrown back during the War, and the fact he wasn't American, Tavish probably had more qualities of a real man than Jane did. Jane wished he could be even half as smart and charismatic as him.

“You got a lot of much-y-ness.” Jane mumbled.

His words saddened Tavish for some reason.

“I dunno about that,” Demo said, enjoying the feel of Jane’s fingers on his neck. “Sometimes I feel that’s all just for show. You’re always so real with yourself. You dunnae let anyone tell you what tae do or how tae live your life. You’re just…you. Never tryin’ tae be someone you dunnae think you are just tae please someone else.”

He set the beer down, emptied at some point in the last few minutes. The hand on the back of his head felt safe, the way Jane’s arm had on the bus.

“I’m nae much of anyone really.” Tavish finished.

“Maybe…but sometimes you are supposed to try to fit in. It doesn't change who you actually are.” Jane sighed, scratching his fingers through some of the short hair on Demo's nape. “I've never met someone else like you Tavish.” He made sure to keep the man's name a low whisper. “I like you, like this…You're someone important to me.” He wondered if that was enough.

“You’re important tae me too,” Tavish said genuinely, but internally he sighed.

Jane just didn’t get it. Sure you’re supposed to fit in, but that doesn’t mean it feels good to. Tavish felt his eye slip closed.

“I think I’m just goin’ tae…stay here for a quick kip. I hope you dunnae mind.”

In all honestly, the minions of Satan himself couldn’t have pried him off Jane if they tried. He nestled further into Jane’s chest, more comfortable than he thought possible.

“Alright…“ Jane murmured, letting out a yawn. There was a small throw blanket hanging over the back of the couch. Jane grabbed it and dragged it over the Demoman, doing his best to smooth it out with his limited mobility. He curled his arms over Tavish's back, squeezing him tight.

The late night was finally catching up to them, and they soon fell asleep.


	10. Chapter 10

Demo awoke, his head pounding and his arm half asleep. It was only the second time he awoke to find himself passed out on Soldier’s chest, and he was starting to find the sensation pleasant. He shook that thought away immediately: there was no room in his life to derive anything more than platonic affection from sleeping next to Soldier. He had to keep Soldier’s feelings in mind, and that meant not wanting anything more from his friend.

Stretching, Demo rolled to his side, getting a better view of the living room. No one had thought to remove Scout or Sniper, who still lay blackout drunk in the middle of the room. Demo sighed. His own hangover was negligible compared to what those two were about to have.

He turned back to Soldier and gave his shoulder a light shake.

“Wakey wakey Janey. Got more hunks o’ junk tae blow up today, and you cannae do that on an empty stomach.”

Jane felt the Demoman shift when he woke up, sliding halfway between him and the couch. He was still half asleep, and wiggled down the couch to be more level with Demo, squeezing him tight again.

“Not moving… too comfy.” His voice was muffled in the Demoman's shirt.

He was usually an early riser, but alcohol could mess with that. Even now, the promise of blowing up robots wasn't even enough to make him get up. He much preferred to stay snuggled under the blanket with Demo, and he didn't know when he might get another chance.

“Oh you’re goin’ tae move boyo, whether of your own volition or because I roll you off the couch.”

When Soldier still didn't move, Demo had a better idea.  
  
“Or I can do this the old fashion way. Exploitin’ my mortal enemy’s one weakness."

He moved his fingers under the edge of Soldier’s shirt, where he knew his friend was extremely ticklish.

 _That_ woke Jane up in an instant, and Demo was lucky to not be immediately kneed in the balls.

“Curse you Demoman!” Soldier yelled, flailing around on the couch. His coordination wasn't quite up to snuff, with his sleep haze and hangover still lingering. Soldier couldn't really get off the couch to escape, as the Demoman was still half sitting on him.

“You…You better not do that again.” He warned.

“Or what? You goin’ tae fall asleep on me?”

Before Soldier could respond, Demo made good on his threat and rolled them both off the couch. The loud THUD woke Sniper and Scout, the younger man shrieking and covering his eyes to the morning sun. The screeching irritated Sniper further, who gave Scout a good kick.

As Demo untangled himself from the blanket, he leaned over Soldier, ignoring the sounds of Sniper and Scout bitching at each other.

“Still comfy?”

Jane's breath was knocked out of him by more than the fall to the floor. Demo was leaning over him with a smirk on his face, and Soldier felt…entranced. He'd always found Tavish to be handsome, in a man-to-man appreciation kind of way. His features were balanced and masculine, where Jane's were oddly proportioned and thrown off by his underbite. As much as the man complained about being a cyclops, he wasn't sure Demo would look right without the eye-patch. Jane felt a certain greater appreciation for Tavish's features seeing them from this angle.

Jane's stomach knotted, he was feeling things, things he didn't understand. Here under Tavish he felt so vulnerable…but it wasn't a bad thing. He usually hated feeling out of control, but with the Demoman he had nothing to fear, Tavish would protect him.

 “I'm uh…” He licked his lips, unable to look away. “Yeah.”

 It was a stupid thing to say, but it was true, and the gears in his brain weren't turning fast enough to realize he was being odd.

“Really? You sure about that? ‘Cause you can spend every night on the floor if that’s the case.”

Jane was looking at Demo strangely, just gazing up at him without breaking eye contact. It made Tavish feel good for some reason. He usually didn’t feel like he was worth looking at unless it was to gawk at the eye.

“You alright, lad? I dinnae mean tae cause any permanent damage.”

“Yeah, I'm fine.” Jane sighed, regretfully breaking eye contact. He rolled over onto his front, Demo finally lifting his arm so he could leave. He stood up slowly in order to keep balance, his head was still spinning from the hangover. The twisting in his stomach continued, much to his dismay.

“I need coffee…” He groaned. There was a chance a shot of caffeine would cure his hangover.

“Aye, me too.”

Demo stood, and decided to take pity on Scout. Scooping the smaller man up, he made his way to the kitchen, Scout not even complaining that much since he was glad to be out of the sun. After depositing Scout in a chair, he went to make coffee for the early risers.

“Straight black,” he said, pouring from the pot into Sniper’s favourite mug.

“Two creams, three sugars.” He put down the cup in front of Scout. There was a groan that might have been “thank you.”

“And straight black,” he said, depositing the black with two sugars in front of Soldier with a wink.

The morning might have been pleasant, despite the droopy eyelids and pained groans. Demo thought to excitement of the night was well worth the morning’s hangover. It couldn’t last; he was just pouring cream into his own coffee when Spy appeared beside him. The Frenchman looked none the worse, having barely participated in the festivities.

“Demoman,” he stated. “I would like a word. Would you mind bringing Soldier along too?”

Dread snuck into every corner of Demo’s being. He had known this was coming. As much as he tried to distract himself with parties and robot killing, the inevitable was still going to stroll into the kitchen in a smartly dressed suit. Even if he pushed away thoughts of RED and BLU, that didn’t mean they were gone.

Demo nodded. Quietly, he made his way over to where Jane was sipping his coffee.

“Soldier. Spy wants tae talk with us.”

“French bastard,” Jane growled, more concerned about the interruption to his coffee than the possible implications. He gulped down the last of it before getting up and putting the mug in the sink. The coffee had cured his hangover, but not the twinge in his stomach, he wondered what was causing it.

He joined the Demoman in the entryway, and the two of them followed the Spy down the halls of the base.

Demo had never been in the Spy’s room before, at least he assumed this one belonged to the Spy. It didn’t looked lived in, but no other mercenary occupied it, and it wasn’t like Mann Co to provide spare commodities.

Spy pulled out chairs for them.

“Is it safe to assume that you have seen the tape?” He said, leaning forward on his hands.

Demo nodded, answering for both of them.

“Well, since I was the one who provided Medic with it, it was not a difficult conclusion to jump to.” Spy breathed deeply, as though considering his next words carefully. “Your reunion has not gone unnoticed, and by more dangerous people than me. Pauling is getting suspicious. If she discovers that you two have resolved your feud owing to that video, there will be no safe place in the world you can hide from her employer. By virtue of being your enabler, the risk also comes down on my head.”

Jane's brown furrowed, and he unconsciously leaned closer to the Demoman.

“I don't care what happens to you Frenchie… but what does this mean for us?” Jane was worried about what this might happen. He'd thought they'd been subtle enough about their friendship, but perhaps the Administrator and Pauling were watching the security cameras a bit closer than they expected.

“It means ,” Spy said condescendingly, “that if you are not more careful you will spend the rest of your very short life in the trunk of Miss Pauling’s car. You will have to be subtle. Starting with not spending the night, _snuggling_ on the couch!”  
“Oh get over yourself Spy,” Demo cut in. “What are we goin’ tae do, pretend tae hate each other again?”  
“Yes!” Spy said, throwing his hands in the air. “Just…cease all your friendly behaviour. At least until Pauling gets less suspicious, yes?”

“I'm not going to pretend to hate Demo again, I'm no liar,” Soldier snapped. “What was the point of getting the tape and showing it to us if you just want things to stay the same!”

The Soldier was angry, surely they hadn't been that obvious. He refused to believe that Pauling had noticed anything. But, as much as he wanted to share Soldier’s outrage, Tavish knew Spy was right.

“Soldier,” Demo said, gently putting a hand on Soldier’s arm, “it’ll be alright. We won’t have to hate each other. In fact, we won’t even have tae pretend tae hate each other. All we have tae do is not be around each other as much as we like for a little while.” He turned to Spy. “You’ll tell us when the coast is clear, aye?”

Spy nodded. “Yes. I have four bugs on Pauling, two of which she hasn’t found in the past three weeks. If she stops mentioning it in reports to the Administrator, I will let you know.”

“Demo…” Jane was disappointed that he was agreeing with Spy. There were a lot of things he wanted to say to Demo. Such as: Didn't you promise nothing would come between us again, I don't want to do this, and I don't care about the consequences. But he had to keep his mouth shut in front of the Spy, even if it pained him.

Instead, he just asked, “Are you sure?”

Demo squeezed Soldier’s arm. “I’m sure. No matter what show we put on in front o’ the cameras, I’ll still be your best mate.”

There would be other reassurances later. He didn’t want to do this any more than Soldier did, but this was a sacrifice they had to make. For the both of them.

“It’s goin’ tae be alright.”

“If you two are quite finished,” Spy cut in, “then I suggest we disband this meeting. No need to draw suspicion any more than we already have. Regardless, we have an invasion to prepare for.”

Demo was just about to follow Soldier out the door when Spy held him back.

“A moment, Demoman.” Demo nodded to Soldier to go on without him. Spy waited until he was out of earshot to continue.

“Even if you two do manage to keep your hands off each other, it may not be enough. The Administrator may have us killed anyway, just to be safe. If I feel that my personal safety is in jeopardy, I will not hesitate to make a break for it. However…” Demo could see Spy chewing his tongue anxiously. “I am aware that my disappearance will be an admission of guilt, and possibly your death sentence. If I do leave, I will do all in my power to send a warning to you, so that you and the Soldier may do the same.”

“Go tae hell Spy. This job is my life. I’m nae makin’ plans tae throw it all away.”

Spy sighed. “This is why I did not bring it up to Soldier. Listen to me: if the Administrator wants you dead, there is no way you can continue your life as you have. Certainly you wouldn’t endanger Soldier just because you two cannot give up your pride?”

Demo hesitated. These were the people who controlled respawn. If things went pear-shaped, he could lose Jane. This time for real.

“Fine. I’ll make a plan.”

“That’s all I ask,” Spy said, and they headed for the door.

-

Anyone that looked in the Soldier's direction could tell he was upset. He didn't want to avoid Tavish, and he didn't like that now Spy and Demo were talking about things without him. His only hope of not exploding was to kill robots. Lots and lots of robots.

He headed out to the battlefield early, loading up his beggar's bazooka with as many upgrades as he could afford.

“Are you alright Soldier?” The Medic seemed to appear out of nowhere, startling Jane.

“ 'M fine…Leave me alone.” The Medic looked dissatisfied with his answer.

He took the long walk down the map at a brisk pace, not wanting the Medic to catch up and ask more questions. He sat on a rock outcropping and put down his rocket launcher, taking some time to mull over things.

He'd felt so good last night, and even that morning, despite the hangover. Who was Spy to tell them they were doing something wrong? He was finally happy…and even if they didn't hate each other anymore, what was the point in being friends if they couldn't even spend time together? Jane felt miserable, and the twisting of his stomach continued.

The battle sucked.

Demo’s mood was at an all time low, and Soldier’s was too. Tavish could tell it was killing Jane, and the American didn’t fight with the same gusto he used to.

At least on the battlefield they could still be beside each other. Demo loved the ebb and flow of their combat, the way they undulated almost like dancing. He tried to sneak as many smiles to the Soldier as possible, just to let him know things were okay.

The battle went a little easier than the day before, the team getting used to the new difficulty. They finished just as tired and ragged as ever, but there would be no party tonight. From now on, this was their life: killing endless streams of robots, day in and day out.

When it was over, Demo found Soldier.

“Jane, before we go through with this, I want to talk to you.”

“Oh yeah? What's there to talk about?” Soldier couldn't help but be snippy. The smiles Tavish kept throwing at him during the match just made him feel worse. He loved that smile…But it was forced, he didn't like that. Why couldn't they just ignore the Spy and do what they wanted?

“Jane, please.” He wanted to take Jane by the hands, but he settled for just about the elbows, gently holding him in place so he couldn’t turn away. “I dunnae want tae do this anymore than you. The thought of goin’ back tae how we were when we first joined this team makes me sick, but we _won’t_ be doin’ that. We’ll still be able tae see each other but…we canne let them know. We cannae risk it. If we cannae be apart for a few weeks, how are goin’ tae handle loosin’ each other permanently?”

“Hmph.” Jane yanked his arm away, and dusted off the sleeve. “I should go, don't want people getting suspicious…” It wasn't easy to rocket jump with the beggar's bazooka, but he managed, not wanting to give Demo any more time to talk.

He would go along with the plan, but he didn't have to be happy about it.

* * *

To say the next few weeks were frustrating would be an understatement. It was the little things, like trying to sit next to Jane at dinner only to remember last second and drop down next to Sniper. Their sudden falling out baffled the others. The team hadn’t gotten over it’s bewilderment at their reunion, and the Medic seemed especially worried at the new development. It never boiled over onto the battlefield though, and the doctor was content to leave alone.

Others weren’t.

“So you going to tell me what the hell is going on, or are you still on the whole ‘let’s keep Sniper in the dark’ thing?”

Demo sighed. Sniper had cornered him after dinner, and now there was no physical way out unless he wanted to knock the Australian over.

“It’s fine,” he assured. “Me and Soldier just had spat. It won’t effect the war effort, I promise.”

“It’s hard to believe it’s fine when you never even told me what happened in the first place.”

Demo hesitated. He didn’t think Sniper was a snitch or anything, but there was always a way something could find its way back to Pauling. Better safe than sorry.

“We just decided to put our differences aside for the good of the team,” Demo said lamely.

Sniper narrowed his eyes. He could tell he was being lied to. Stepping back, Sniper allowed Demo to leave, but not before giving him the most spurned look he’d ever seen. The lie followed Demo all the way back to his room. Great. Now he had chased away both of his friends.

The time apart wouldn’t be so bad if it weren’t for the way Soldier treated him. Demo had self-control: he could resist the need to be near his best friend if it meant their continued safety. But every time he made a conscious decision to move away from Jane, his friend gave him the most guilt-extracting expression possible. Maybe it wasn’t as bad as the War, but it sure felt like it.

It was like he blamed Tavish for keeping them apart. Why? Did he think Tavish wanted to do this? What didn’t he get about keeping their friendship a secret? They had done the exact same thing before the War, sneaking off base so their employers wouldn’t know. What was so different now?

As annoyed as he was at Jane, he could never form it into true anger. The irritation would just be overcome by longing, the absence of his best friend like tilting the bottom of the bottle and finding nothing.

Maybe that was it then. Before when they had hidden their friendship, they hadn’t known any better. Now that they had gotten a taste of freedom, and it was hard to go back.


	11. Chapter 11

Jane now spent most evenings holed up in his room. Things had become so confusing since he and the Demoman had been forced apart, that he couldn't even stand being near him. Being near Demo, but not able to talk to him, or throw an arm over his shoulder and pal around, it was painful. At least being by himself he didn't have to be constantly reminded of it.

Being apart again made Jane realize how much he really needed Tavish. It felt like their fallout during the War all over again. He suddenly had no one to talk to, and no one he could trust. He'd think of something funny and have no one to share it with, and God, did he miss how they worked together on the battlefield.

He just couldn't stand it anymore. It was already pretty late in the evening, most of the mercs had retired for the night. Surely a quick visit to Tavish's room would go unnoticed?

A Soldier wasn't built for stealth, but he had the common sense to remove his jacket and boots before trying to creep down the hall. His sock covered feet were nearly silent, even with his heavy steps, and he managed to reach the Demoman's door without anyone coming out of their rooms.

Jane hesitated in front of the door, wondering if Tavish would just turn him away. He seemed to be taking this better than Jane…Did Tavish even miss him at all? It was pretty pathetic of him, running to Demo's room in the middle of the night like a scared child.

But he needed to see him. He couldn't pretend to be ok any longer. As gently as he could manage, he knocked on the door.

As soon as Tavish heard the knock, his heart lurched, hoping it was Jane. He quieted those thoughts quickly. That was stupid, Jane was pissed at him right now, he wouldn’t come seeking Tavish out. It was probably just Spy here to give another discreet report.

When he opened the door and saw Jane standing there, he was so happy he could’ve cried. The logical decision to turn his friend away never even crossed his mind, and he motioned Soldier in as soon as the coast was clear.

He closed the door, spun around, and pulled the shorter man into a hug.

“Janey…” he sniffed, overcome with pure bliss.

The Soldier was startled by the overwhelmingly positive reaction, but that quickly turned to relief. He was then able to wrap his own arms around Demo and hold him tight.

“I didn't think you'd want to see me,” Jane admitted, face pressed to Tavish's shoulder. “But I just couldn't stand avoiding you anymore.”

It felt so good to be close again, wrapped up in each other. Jane wondered how someone as well built as the Demoman managed to feel so soft…

“O’ course I want tae see you.” It was probably socially appropriate to break the hug now, but Demo would loath to. He wanted to make up for lost time. “The only reason I’d ever nae see you is for somethin’ important.” He put Jane out at arm’s length, only met with slight resistance. “Are you…still mad at me?”

Jane sighed, “I was never mad at you…I was just mad at…I don't really know, but it wasn't you.”

The two of them slowly let go of each other, and Jane couldn't help but be disappointed.

“I know we aren't supposed to, but can I stay a while?” Soldier asked. “I really miss talking to you.”

“O’ course you can,” Tavish said, glad that he had been forgiven. “As long as no one saw you sneak up here, we should be alright.”

He sat on the edge of the bed motioning for Jane to join him.

“Here we are,” Tavish lamented, “sneakin’ around, pullin’ the wool over our superiors eyes. Just like old times.”

“Well, we weren't really that subtle back then Tavish, I mean they found out after all. We left too much photographic evidence.” His heart throbbed when he remembered the photos they'd taken on their trips. He'd destroyed them all right after he'd agreed to fight Tavish.

Sitting on the bed next to him, Jane lay heavily on his shoulder. He had missed this so much.

“I don't know if I can keep doing this…” Jane continued, “I mean it's never going to really stop is it? They will always be suspicious of us if we start spending time together again, and who knows how long until this war is over, and we can forget about this shit…” He rubbed a hand over his face, an old aching tiredness sinking into his bones. “It's just not worth it.”

Tavish’s mouth went dry. He put one arm around Jane, trying to be comforting, but he felt like he needed to be comforted himself.

Jane had a point. Even if Pauling were no longer suspicious, as soon as they started acting buddy-buddy again she would get wary, and the whole cycle would start back up again. Tavish pulled Jane in even tighter.

“You have tae keep it up, lad. We have to keep tryin’. Otherwise…” The plan they had hatched all those weeks ago didn’t seem so foolproof now. It had been almost a month and there was still no change. His stomach twisted, the fear of the unknown just outside his bedroom door.

He realized how tightly he was holding Jane. But he couldn’t let go; he felt like if he did Jane would slip away and he’d loose him to uncertainty.

“What else can we do?” Tavish asked, filled with doubt. “This is the only thing that might work and I just…Jesus, Jane. I cannae loose you.”

“I can't lose you either!” Jane's voice came out a bit too loud, and he quieted himself as to not wake anyone. “But I AM losing you! Just because you don't hate me doesn't make being forced apart any easier. This is torture, Tav, I really can't do this.” He looked desperately at Tavish, trying to properly convey how serious he was. “It… It's selfish of me, but you are all I have.”

It was all Jane could do to choke that out, his throat tight as it felt like he was going to end up crying. He slid his arm up Tavish's back, grabbing a fistful of fabric to stop his fingers from shaking.

Demo pulled Jane back into a hug, putting a hand on the back of his helmet. He prayed Jane wouldn’t start crying. If Jane started crying, Tavish would to, and they would end up waking half the base with their sniviling.

“That’s nae true,” he murmured to the top of Jane’s head. “You have the team.” He swallowed. “Which is why what I’m goin’ tae tell you next is worse than the past month combined.” He knew this moment was coming. He was going to have to tell Jane eventually, as much as he hoped he wouldn’t have to. “When we started doin’ this, avoidin’ each other, Spy ‘n I made a plan just in case it dinnae work. And you’re nae goin’ tae like it.”

Jane tensed, but didn't have the hate in him to be mad about them planning things behind his back. Dread was slowly seeping in his gut, he really didn't want to know what the plan was, he really didn't.

“What is it?” he asked anyway.

“There was always a chance the Administrator would put a hit out on us anyways,” Demo said into the helmet. “So, if that ever happens, we have a plan. It’s pretty simple really: we pack up, middle o’ the night, get provided a couple o’ invisi-watches, ‘n abandon the war.”

“Tavish…you can't do that!” Jane said, shocked. “What about your mother? The Administrator knows where she lives, and she NEEDS you Tavish! You're the only one to carry on your whole Scottish legacy thing. You're supposed to find a wife and…Have a bunch of little demo-kids.” The image hurt Jane for some reason. “I…I know what I said but…I can do this, ok? I'm not letting my weakness ruin your life Tav. If the Administrator comes down on us…Just find some way to blame it all on me. You have life outside of this war…I don't.” He wanted to take back his earlier complaining, he'd never really thought of the possible consequences outside of his own death. Unlike him, there were things Tavish needed to live for.

Tavish shook his head.

“I never wanted that life.” His throat had constricted at the mention of a wife and kids. “This is my life: this job, my team, and you. I dunnae want tae give it up, but if worse comes to worse…I have tae prepare. And you’re balmy if you think I’m just goin’ cut ‘n run tae leave you holdin’ the bag.”

His hands moved in what he hoped were a soothing motions. “As for me Mum, I’ve made arrangements. Like I said, I’ve been planning this for a while. I got a couple o’ buddies who can get her back tae Scotland, and when I’m clear o’ this place I’ll join her.”

Tavish bit his lip. If Jane hadn’t liked the idea of running, he definitely wouldn’t like this part.

“TF Industries donnae have as much strength outside o’ the America’s, so that’s where I should go. And…I know you would never consider it otherwise, but your life is jeopardy and I…I want you tae come with me.”

“I… I don't know. Shit…” Jane pulled away from Demo, and leaning over with his face in his hands. “This job is my life, it's all I know how to do. If you leave too then there is nothing for me here. But… I don't belong in Scotland, I don't want to be some sort of burden.” He paused to breathe. “You'll want a family one day Tavish, it's what proper people like you do, it's just natural. I do not want to be just some freeloader getting in the way of that…I…” He didn't want to cry, but a few tears began to slip out. “I've really made everything worse for you haven't I?”

Tavish felt his own tears begin to spill over. He wrapped one arm around Jane’s back and put the other on his knee, feeling tremors in his body.

“No, no please dunnae think that Jane. Please dunnae cry. I told you, I dunnae want that life, I dunnae want that ‘natural’ shite. I just want you.”

In the dimly lit bedroom, he didn’t care how that sounded. He just wanted Jane to know how important he was, how wonderful, how funny, how brave. Tavish let off a sob.

“Please say you’d come with me Jane. You’d die if you didn’t. Please…”

“Tavish… Tavish I just don't know.”

Jane took off his helmet because it was getting in the way, dumping it on the bed. He wondered what exactly Tavish meant when he said: 'I just want you.' It made his stomach flip, it wasn't something normal to say but…Maybe he really did mean as much to Tavish as Tavish meant to him. It was still hard to wrap his mind around everything though.

“I…Can't promise anything,” Soldier sputtered. “I don't think I can decide until I'm…in that situation.” He sighed, wiping his tears and crossing his arms over his stomach. “Can we just…Hope we never get there? I'll go back to pretending. It's fine.”

Tavish sighed. “I suppose that’s the most I can ask for.”

He looked at Jane’s helmetless face. God he was beautiful. Tavish wanted nothing more than to protect him from all the shit the world had decided to throw at them.

“We can keep pretending. It’s really all we can do. But…stop by again sometime. I hate nae bein’ able tae see you.”

“Can I…Can I stay a while? Just… A bit longer?” Jane wiped his nose on the back of his hand before gazing at Demo with watery blue eyes. He wasn't ready to leave, he needed something more. He couldn't quite grasp what it was, but it was important. There were also questions he had about what Demo had said, things he didn't understand.

“I wouldnae want anythin’ else,” Tavish reassured him. “It’s probably more comfortable than the couch, so we can just lay here if you like.”

Jane eased himself down next to Tavish. The bed was small, so he lay sideways. He could also look at the Demo like this…

The silence managed to last only a few seconds before Jane decided to break it.

“Tav?” He said, getting the man's attention. “What do you mean when you say you don't want that life? Doesn't everyone?” After he said it, Jane realized that it wasn't something he really wanted either, even though he knew it was the normal thing to do. “I mean I don't have much of a chance for it, no woman has ever really…” He coughed. “Been serious about that stuff, with me.”

It wasn't hard to find women interested in the deep pockets of a professional mercenary, but they never wanted much else than that.

“But I thought someone like you would have had a lot of ladies,” he continued, “or suitors…Maybe princesses? I don't know how this Scottish noblemen stuff works.”

Demo laughed, but it was laced with nervousness.

“No, no princesses, though it’s nae like me Mum hasnae tried.” He hesitated, wondering how much he could say without revealing himself. “She’s tried a lot o’ girls actually. None o’ them ever really interested me. And that wasnae a ‘rebellious prince wants tae marry for love’ thing, I just…was more concerned with other things. Dunnae tell me Mum this, but I never plan on gettin’ married. If the DeGroot line ends with me, so be it.”

Jane nodded, contemplating his words. “I guess it makes sense, you shouldn't have to do it if you don't want to.” He watched Tavish's face for any change in emotion. The man seemed to be looking far away. “Does seem kind of a shame not to pass on your demolitions skills, you really are the best at what you do Tav.”

Jane grinned for a second, but then his face melted into something more somber.

“It's really not my place to say,” he said, “but seeing how you worry about your mom and look after her, you'd be a really great parent.” He wondered where that thought came from, suddenly feeling embarrassed. “I mean, in case anything happens by accident…When you're out getting drunk…“ Somehow what he'd hoped was a smooth save just sounded much worse.

The red in Jane’s cheeks was adorable. Tavish grinned.

“As unlikely as that may be,” Tavish belied, “I certainly wouldnae leave a kid tae fend for themselves. I’d support any drunken accident.”

Tavish had never really thought about kids before. He liked children, but always discounted them since he never planned to get a wife.

“I wish you could raise a kid by yourself without anyone askin’ any questions.” He shrugged. “I suppose I’ll just have tae mooch off you then, aye? I’ll be the fun uncle, showin’ up at Smissmass with all the dangerous toys your wife won’t let you buy for ‘em.”

“…Me?” Jane gaped at Demo. “Don't be crazy. There's not a woman out there that would be interested in me like that, never mind trust me with her children…I mean, I'm obviously not against the idea, it just doesn't seem likely to happen.”

Jane rolled a bit closer to Demo, snuggling against his arm.

“I've always wanted to have pets though,” Jane considered. “I've just never been home long enough to get one.” He thought about it a little more. “When the war is over I could get a place in the country, with lots of space for animals to run around…” Jane smiled.

“What sort of pets? I’ve always been a dog person meself.”

“I'd like to get a dog…” Jane thought. “A big one I can train to rip burglars to shreds…I like cats too though, There was a whole bunch of them living behind my apartment, I used to feed them sometimes but…Didn't want them to rely on me if I would be going back to base soon.” He put an arm over Demo's chest and yawned. “All animals are good though…They aren't shit like people can be.”

A memory came to Tavish, floating around in the half-sleep of the room.

“Maybe I’m a walkin’ stereotype,” he began, “but I had a little Scottish Terrier growin’ up. She was a mutt though, so I couldnae boast ‘bout her tae the other kids. Loved her anyways, little beast would follow me all over the countryside, helpin’ me get out a mischief or intae it, dependin’ on the day.”

His smiled faded.

“She died real young, though. Slipped off the cliff where were playin’ and broke her back. Second hardest I ever cried in me life.”

Tavish grew quiet, shaking his head to clear the memories. Jane managed to put a hand on his shoulder, despite their awkward position. With nothing more to say for the moment, they floatws into comfortable silence. Jane felt himself drifting nearly to sleep, but then coming back, remembering he wasn't supposed to stay. His face was still pressed against Demo's arm, breathing softly through his nose and just basking in the Demo's presence.

“You smell so nice…” he whispered, not realizing it was out loud.

“Thanks.” Tavish's voice was barely above a whisper, the exhaustion after crying hitting him hard. He curled a little closer to Soldier, soaking in his warmth. There was something he was supposed to remember, but he couldn’t think what it was for the life of him. It probably wasn't important anyways.

“We should…”

Whatever he was going to say is cut off in a yawn. He found his eye sliding closed. The last thing he remembered before drifting off is Soldier’s soft breath against his arm.

They both forgot they were only going to spend time together for a little while, and ended up falling asleep, spending the whole night laying on Demo's bed.

* * *

Jane woke first, feeling happy and refreshed, much like every other night he'd slept at Tavish's side. For the sleepy Jane, nothing seemed wrong at first. He squeezed Demo a little tighter and sighed, ready to sleep just a bit longer.

The realization that he'd screwed up came very suddenly, almost out of nowhere. He shot straight up, glancing at the clock on the wall he cursed.

“Tavish! Tavish it's morning, I fell asleep!” He shook Demo's shoulder before jumping off the bed, grabbing his helmet and putting it in it's place. He tried to straighten his clothes to look presentable, but remembered his jacket and boots were still in his room.

“Demo what do I do?” He was panicking.

Demo blinked blearily, the feeling of unease overpowered by wanting to calm Soldier down.

“Shhh, shhh,” he soothed. “It’s alright, Jane it’s fine.”

Although maybe it’s not fine. As Tavish swung his feet off the bed, he could definitely hear sounds out in the hall and in the kitchen. Their early-morning window when Soldier could have snuck out had evaporated.

“First step is: keep your voice down. No one’s suspicious yet, and we can keep it that way.”

He looked around the room for anything that could help them. It yielded no results, unless they wanted to sneak Soldier out under a giant sheet.

“Maybe…I could keep watch outside? When the coast is clear I could give you a signal.”

“O-ok.” Jane breathed, Demo's calm mannerisms put him at ease. If there was one thing he new Tavish could do, it was get them out of a tough situation. He'd done it time and time again, in battle, back when they beat up the police, and he was going to save him now.

“You go outside. Just…cough really loudly when I can come out.”

Demo stepped outside, closing the door quickly so no one would get a view inside. He then leaned against it, folding his arms and probably looking very cool.

Jane wandered around Demo's room as he waited, his socks making little swish sounds against the floor. Although he should have left earlier, last night had been a treat. He was so relieved that Tavish still cared, cared enough to end up crying and holding him when discussing their worst case scenario. He wanted to feel that closeness all the time, but hiding their friendship from Pauling prevented it.

He spotted a bit of red out of the corner of his eye. It was one of Tavish's casual shirts that he wore on the weekends, thrown over the back of his desk chair. Jane was drawn to it for some reason, stepping closer and closer until he could reach out and touch it. The fabric was soft, Demo had probably ordered it not that long ago. He lifted it up, recognizing it as the shirt Demo had worn last Sunday. With a quick glance at the door Jane slowly lifted the shirt, pressing his face into it and taking a slow breath through his nose. God…it smelled so much like him…

Demo still stood staring at the room across from him, Scout’s, which was wide open. Scout sat on the bed, taking an overly long time to lace up his cleats. When he was done, he stretched, slipped his dog tags on, and headed for the door. He gave Demo a weird look as he passed, and Demo realized he probably looked a little strange: leaning against his own door like some kind of desperado. He began to whistle self-consciously.

When Scout was gone, he took a quick peek at the other rooms. The floor was clear, no sound coming from Heavy’s or Pyro’s, and Sniper never used his anyways. Demo went back to his room and coughed.

Back inside the room Jane jumped, stuffing the shirt halfway into his pocket and running to the door. He opened it and stuck his head out. The Demoman jerked his chin in the direction of Jane's room, he didn't need to be told twice. Squeezing out the door and running back to his room, Jane was home free in no time flat, slamming his door behind him.

There was one problem though: he'd stolen Demo's shirt.

Reaching into his pocket Jane pulled out the offending garment. Why did he take it? Sure he'd panicked, but stealing it was definitely not the correct split-second decision.

Well, he had other things to worry about right now, like getting ready for battle. He shoved the shirt under his pillow, and decided to deal with it later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There isn't going to be an update this Sunday guys, sorry!
> 
> If you're enjoying the story, please leave a review! It really encourages us to keep writing :)


	12. Chapter 12

In many ways, their night together only made things worse.

It was like Demo thought, once they got to experience being openly affectionate with each other again, it was harder to handle the cold-shoulder. Thinking about Soldier was habit-forming, remembering his happy smile and his whispered promises; how was Demo expected to act like he meant nothing?

It wasn’t all bad though. Soldier didn’t blame him anymore, which made the burden bearable. Sniper couldn’t be mad at him forever, and eventually the Australian started talking to Demo again too.

Even better, Demo could sometimes sneak off to Soldier’s room when he thought it was safe enough. It wasn’t openness, but it sure was nice to see him for a few hours every week or so. They learned from their mistakes, and whoever was staying over was always gone by morning.

And still, it made the daylight hours all the more bitter. Whoever said there cannot be happiness without pain had never considered the inverse was true as well.

Jane appreciated Tavish's efforts to make sure they could still spend time together, and things were better than they'd been since that night he'd slept in Tavish's room. For Jane though, the sparse, irregular visits weren't always enough. Some night when he missed Demo he would reach under his pillow and pull out the shirt he'd shoved there, laying it over his pillow so he could smell the faint scent of Tavish as he fell asleep.

He knew it was weird, and he felt ashamed every morning, stuffing it back under the pillow and saying he'd never do it again. But he did. Jane knew this wasn't normal, he knew you didn't feel this desperate and longing for your best friend. The problem was he didn't really have anything to compare it with.

He'd heard Medic describe him as emotionally stunted before, and he supposed it sounded right. Feelings were hard for him to dismantle, that's why he liked simple feelings like anger. They were easy. Most negative emotions were. Whatever was happening now was good, but incredibly complicated. He wished he had someone to talk to and ask about it, but Demo was the only one he trusted, and as emotionally stunted as he was, he knew telling Tavish he had stolen his shirt to sleep with at night probably wouldn't go over well.

So he spent most of his alone time trying to chip away at the feelings and pull them apart, dissect them for meaning. It wasn't going very fast, but as long as the feelings were so good and warm, there wasn't really much of a rush.

* * *

Weeks turned into months, and the robots were getting harder and harder to fight. Each day they came closer and closer to losing. Monday the bomb was stopped 50 feet from it's destination, then 20, then 15, then 10. Death rates were up, even Spy, who usually managed to stick to the shadows when things got tough, was getting his own death count.

Today Soldier had spent all his money on clip and reload speed upgrades. He was standing by the Engineer's dispenser so he didn't have to worry about ammo, and sending loads of nearly 10-15 rockets at a time. He enjoyed this kind of battle, sheer power over aim or strategy, It felt good to see all those chunks of rusted metal littering the field.

The stress was getting to the team, but none more than the Demoman. He was the second highest DPS class, which made him carry the second biggest burden. One of these days the bomb was going to make it; they spent so much worry about some human woman sitting behind a screen while real, murderous robots brought their death closer ever day. Talk about priorities.

Today, Demo stood outside spawn, throwing a trap down wide enough to catch a whole fleet of robots. There would be a big scout coming soon, human Scout had told them as much, and they were barely going to be able to knock down the last bit of health in time…

Not to mention four tanks were coming.

That was his main target. Heavy was already there, drilling into it while Medic watched his back. When the trap was in place, Demo ran to him as fast as he could, hoping that the back lines would handle the giant scout.

Soldier could see the bomb coming from his high vantage point, being carried by the giant Scout. Pyro seemed to be doing a good job at holding it back for now, so he focused on the wave of spies that had come in. He couldn't see them, but fire enough rockets and he was bound to hit a few.

Just as he reloaded there was the telltale hiss of a sapper, turning around he saw the dead body of the Engineer, and a second 'Engineer' standing next to the sapped dispenser

“Damn Spy!” He yelled, launching a rocket at the disguised bot. It let out a robotic French laugh and then disappeared. “No you don't!” Jane leaped down from his perch, firing wildly. It must have gone this way, he thought. Wait, that way! The Soldier zig-zagged behind the buildings, switching to his shotgun when he ran out of rockets.

“We got another wave coming!” Yelled the Scout, running back to spawn with a sack of money.

Jane just ignored the boy, still singularly focused on finding the Spy. Somehow he managed to loop back to relatively near the spawn, firing his last shot at nothing before he ran out of ammo again. He was annoyed the Spy had escaped after he'd wasted all that time and ammo looking for it.

It was then he heard it, the clanging of more robots. He turned around, it was the wave the Scout had waned about. Some must have gotten picked off along the way, but three demoknight robots stood in front of him, brandishing replicated Eyelanders and staring menacingly with their one glowing blue optic.

“Ah… Damnit.” He murmured, reaching for his shovel. If he had any ammo left he would have blown them to bits, but instead he was trapped against three sword wielding robots with nothing but his entrenching tool.

The first robot swung, and he blocked it with the shovel, but then the second demo attacked and he wasn't quick enough.

Blood erupted from his chest as his jacket and skin were sliced open, drawing a line from his collar bone to his opposite ribs. He yelled in pain, stumbling backwards and losing grip on his shovel. It clanged to the ground out of his reach. Jane pressed a hand to his bloody chest and stepped backwards until he hit a wall. This was it, respawn was waiting…

The robots continued to advance. There would be no mercy here.

Across the battlefield, the real Demo stood victorious over the smoking remains of the tanks. They had lost Heavy and Medic, and the Engineer’s equipment was a smoking ruin, but they had won. Now the only bots left were the spies and a scattering of demoknights.

Scout skidded to a halt in front of him. “We gotta get back fast man. Big scout’s halfway there, so we gotta get movin’ now.”

Shit, the giant scout. He had almost forgotten.

As he and Scout ran back to spawn, he yelled, “I’ve got a sticky trap set up, hopefully that’s enough tae drop it. Do you know how much health?”

“Sniper’s been doin’ it a number, and Pyro too before they got backstabbed. I don’t know where Soldier and Spy are.”

Demo felt his gut clench. No one really knew were Spy was during a match, but Scout usually kept pretty good track of everyone else. Soldier was probably dead. They rounded the corner, relieved to see the giant hadn’t beaten them there.

“Incoming!” Sniper yelled.

As the robot sprinted into view, the world seemed to turn in slow motion. Not because of the robot itself—it was weak, and not particularly threatening—but because of what else Demo saw.

Soldier wasn’t dead. He was cornered, three demoknights slowly approaching him with their weapons drawn. Blood gushed from a wound in his chest, and he had no weapons to speak of, instead using his hands to clutch at his injury. He was so close. There was still time to save him.

Only there wasn’t. The scout was sill charging them, the sticky trap too far a way to do any good. Demo had to wait, to kill the fast-moving bomb carrier before he could go to his friend.

Only when the central demoknight raised its sword it wasn’t a robot holding the weapon. Tavish saw himself, the green light from the blade so much more realistic than it had been a second ago. He remembered how he had done that himself so many times before during the War: cornering his ex-friend, relishing the kill when he was out of ammo and defenceless, and Demo could use the haunted sword to finish him off. Although the robot’s face was blank and mouthless, Demo could suddenly see the smirk of sadistic pleasure his own face used to wear.

“Just a few more- Demo! What the fuck man! What the hell are you doing!”

Too many broken promises. He said he would protect Jane. He had failed time and time again but he wouldn’t fail him now.

He detonated the trap, immediately firing a fresh sticky under his feet and blasting off towards the far wall. The Demoknight’s swing seemed to go on forever, which suited Tavish just fine. The machines exploded with a KABOOM as a second sticky arrived ahead of the Demoman himself. He had aimed further in as to not hit Jane, leaving the front robot stunned but alive.

It wasn’t for long. He brought his bottle across the back of the demoknight’s head, shattering the glass on impact. He then stabbed the sharpened end into it’s body over and over and over again until it lay dead at his feet. The bottle fell from his grip and he collapsed next to Jane.

“Janey,” he said, holding Jane’s face with one hand and his blood soaked chest with the other. He didn’t know shit about medicine, but he thought something about stopping the bleeding by holding the wound closed. “Are you alright? Tell me you’re alright.”

“Tavish what are you doing!” Jane hissed, fixing him with a desperate stare. “You let the bomb…” Realizing they were mere seconds from failing the mission, he turned to look at the giant Scout, ignoring how the motion aggravated his injury.

It seemed luck was on their side, and the death-defiant Heavy and Medic burst from respawn just in time. Heavy tracked the scout with practiced ease, draining it's health in only a few seconds, and destroying it mere inches from it's destination.

“You did it, gentlemen! Mission complete.” The Administrator's voice echoed across the field, leading to a collective sigh of relief from the mercenaries.

As glad as Soldier was they hadn't all died in a fiery explosion, he was still mad at Demo for nearly causing that to happen.

“Demo- Demo what is everyone going to think? You…sacrificed the mission for me.”

The thought was flattering, but that didn't change the fact that they had messed up big. There was no way the Administrator and everyone else hadn't noticed.

“We have to… NGH!” A jolt of pain from the giant gash across his chest prevented him from moving. “Just get me a medkit or something, we have to get back to base and deal with this.”

Tavish didn’t want to leave Jane. The round was over, but if Jane bled out while he was gone, the whole incident would have been for nothing. Still, something in the back of Tavish’s mind processed that a medkit was Jane’s best chance, and he stood to go get one.

He came back less than a minute later, cracking it open and pulling out what was needed.

The full impact of what he had done still hadn’t hit him. After all, he had no choice. That aesthetic-stealing son of a gun had almost killed Jane. He would never have let that happen.

Only…respawn was still on. He had forgotten about that. As he began to dress the wound he felt a twinge of fear. Why had he forgotten about respawn? The only time respawn wouldn’t work was if the robots delivered their bomb and destroyed it.

Which had almost just happened. Fear shot through the Demoman, knowing their cover was blown by his one moment of weakness. Not only had he sacrificed the mission, that in itself was deserving of admonishment, but he had done it for Jane.

He froze, halfway completed with the bandage. “Jane…” he began. “We have tae leave. We have tae leave right now.”

"Damnit Tavish I'm not leaving, not because of your screw up." It was harsh, but Soldier was just so frustrated. He grabbed the bandage from Demo and finished wrapping it himself.

"There's still a chance she wasn't watching when it happened, there is still a chance we won't be found out. We have to take that chance, and face things head on like men." He reached out and grasped Tavish's hand. "We will face it together."

Tavish took a shaky breath. Soldier had always been the braver of the two of them. He always faced his problems head on, fuck the consequences.

Tavish tightened his hands around Jane’s, trying to draw courage from them. Even if they did bolt now, there wouldn’t get far. They still needed the invis-watches from Spy, and at least a few hours head start. The base was their only option. He took a steadying breath.

Demo helped Soldier to his feet, providing something to lean on as they made their way back. As soon as they reached the spawn room, Scout ran up.

“Demo, what the hell man?!” Scout complained. “We needed you back there to-”

Spy materialized out of nothing. “Indeed. What were you thinking Demoman?”

Spy’s voice was impassive, betraying no hint of fear or real anger. Instead he stared at Demo sternly, as though trying to impart some hidden message.

Scout looked at Spy in pure bewilderment. Spy was usually more likely to eat a live rattlesnake than agree with the Scout.

Spy pushed past Demo and Soldier into the base, bumping against him as he passed. Scout spent another few minutes chewing Demo out before he too crossed the threshold. Demo felt Soldier’s weight begin to draw him down. Although the smartest option was to head to the infirmary, Demo dragged Soldier into a supply room, ignoring his friends complaints.

As soon as they were in the clear, he deposited Soldier on the ground and yanked something from his pocket.

It was a pair of watches.

“Spy slipped these into me pocket just now as we were headin’ in,” he explained. He then noticed a note attached to them. He opened it for him and Soldier to read.

> _I am going to reach Pauling’s base to attempt damage control. She may yet see reason. If I have not returned in 3 hours, it means I have failed. You must then take the watches and go. Do not come back for me._

“So there is still a chance,” Soldier nodded, surprised that the Spy had even bothered to give them an escape and not just save his own ass. “Then we’ll wait, and since the charade is already up…” Jane grinned. “Then I guess we have at least three hours we can spend together, before everything goes to shit.”

There was a possibility this was it for them, but Jane just couldn't stop himself from looking at the bright side.

“I would like at least one more visit to the Medic….” he noted. “I'm afraid trying to escape through the desert with an open would and no respawn will kill me.”

Demo found it hard to feel as optimistic as Soldier. As much as he had respected Pauling before all this went down, she was still unconditionally loyal to the Administrator. It was a huge risk for the Spy, and Demo felt a twinge of affection for the ornery Spook. Demo cared for his team like a family, but he had no idea Spy felt the same way.

“Aye, that’s a good idea.” He helped Soldier to his feet once again.

* * *

They walked into the infirmary to find Medic blissfully unaware of anything that transpired while he was dead.

“Over here, over here,” he said tersely, motioning Demo to deposit Soldier on the gurney. “It was too close today, far to close. Either Engineer or I must think of something quickly if we are to turn this war around.” He looked over at Demo as he flicked the medigun on. “At least you two seem to have sorted things out again. That’s something.”

Demo hesitated. Medic knew about RED and BLU, which theoretically put him at as much risk at Spy. There was no suspicion on him now, but that could change at any time. Demo shot a glance at Soldier, wondering if they should give Medic some kind of warning.

The medigun was quick to heal Soldier, and he was glad he no longer had to worry about bleeding out for the time being. Jane wasn't really sure what to do in terms of the Medic. It was unlikely the Administrator knew of Medic's involvement, as long as he kept his mouth shut they would just assume the Spy had told them about the War directly. At the same time if the Medic was too quick to realize what had happened he might say something to incriminate himself.

In the end the Medic was a smart man, and the Soldier believed he could take care of himself. Jane just shook his head at Demo, trying to signal to keep quiet.

“Well if I'm all patched up we are going to go now,” Jane said, hopping off the table. He paused for a moment before leaving with Demo, turning back to look at the Medic. “Thanks for everything, doc.”

“Yeah. We couldnae have done this with out you,” Tavish said, repeating the sentiment. He put a hand on Medic’s shoulder.

“ _Ja, ja,”_ Medic replied, waving them off. “That is vhat I’m here for.” He didn’t search for any deeper meaning than that.

When they walked into the hallway, Tavish couldn’t help but pull Jane into a hug.

“ ‘M sorry Jane. When I saw those bots comin’ for you, I just couldnae stand by anymore. I was just so scared…this is all me fault.”

“Do not worry about it.” Jane sighed, squeezing Tavish as tightly as he could manage. “It's hard to stay mad at someone for saving your life.” They stayed like that a few moments longer before pulling apart.

“So…What should be do while we wait for Spy? I guess we should pack some of out things in case…He doesn't come back.” Jane didn't want to think about that. “But if this is our last chance for things to be normal, then we should take advantage of it while we have the chance.”

“As much as I’d like tae just go back tae me room and take a nap,” Tavish replied, “this might be our last chance tae say goodbye tae the team. I’m nae sayin’ we should be super obvious about it, but at least talk with ‘em in case we never see ‘em again.”

Tavish took a deep breath. Part of him still didn’t believe this was really happening.

“And, I know we’ll be spendin’ a lot o’ time together once we’re on the run, but I’d still like tae hang out for a while, just the two of us.”

“You can go talk to the team, I don't really have much else to say,” Jane admitted. “I'll start packing a bag, meet me in my room when you're finished.”

As much as he loved his mismatched team, he didn’t want to say goodbye. Goodbye was an ending; as long as he never said it, there was still a chance to see them again.

They parted ways, and Jane returned to his room to prepare. He usually brought two bags when moving bases, but if they were going to be on the run he'd have to pack light. He stuffed some civilian clothes, bottled water, and his first aid kit into his military style pack. Their firearms were owned by Mann Co., but their melee weapons were their own, so his trusty collapsible entrenching tool went into the bag as well.

It was depressing how there was nothing he really wanted to bring for sentimental value. All the things attached to good memories had been destroyed along during the War, and other items with memories, like the gunboats, were things he'd rather forget. A lack of attachment definitely made running away easier.

It had taken almost no time at all to pack, so he just waited for Tavish to return.

* * *

Tavish had said his goodbyes to everyone, being a subtle as possible. The only one left was Sniper, who he’d saved for last.

“Come to offer an explanation?” the Australian asked as he cleaned his rifle.

Right. Sniper had seen what Scout had, sitting up there, watching the whole disaster unfold.

Demo rubbed his neck sheepishly. “Yeah I…wasnae thinkin’ clearly. This whole war has been gettin’ tae me.”

Sniper nodded. “Tell me about it, mate. Do you know how hard it is to get consistent headshots on a Super Scout? Pretty fucking hard.”

Demo chuckled, pulling up a chair beside his friend. His laughter faded, and he began to mull something over. “It’s just…he’s so important tae me, you know? It was hard to see him like that.”

Demo hesitated again, considering what exactly he wanted to tell him. There was no reason to hide anything anymore, especially when he was fairly certain he’d never see Sniper again. Also, he had the sneaking suspicion Sniper already had a good guess. “I mean, you’re important tae me too, I want that tae be clear but he’s like… _really_ important tae me.” He stared at Sniper, trying to get his message across with so many words.

Sniper stared back. Eventually, he nodded, understanding on his face. “I think I get what you’re saying.”

Demo let his shoulders drop in relief. “Well, I had tae tell somebody, and I happen tae trust you. So just…dunnae go spreading it around, aye?”

“Who do you take me for, Spy?” Sniper laughed.

Demo laughed too, standing as he did so. He patted Sniper on the shoulder. “Thanks Sniper,” he said, and left the room. The goodbyes were all brief. His constitution couldn’t take more than that.


	13. Chapter 13

Tavish didn’t really feel like packing, he could always do that later. Right now, the only thing he wanted was to spend time with Jane before the whole world went to shit. He knocked on Jane’s door.

“You don’t need to do that. Knock I mean,” Jane said, opening the door. He closed it behind them and followed Tavish into the room, clearing the bag off his bed so they could both sit.

“I dunno. Now just seems like a bad time to come barging in on each other,” Demo admitted. “I want tae say ‘we still have some time left’ but every minute that passes is a decrease in Spy’s chances. It’s depressin’ as fuck.”

Demo twiddled his fingers. Today was a depressing day all around. Now that he looked back on it, this seemed like the inevitable conclusion to their friendship. Forbidden from the start, forbidden to the end.

“Well, I might as well bring up the elephant in the room,” Tavish started. “There’s a good chance we’ll have tae bolt tonight, and we still dunnae know where we’re goin’ afterwards. You said you’d have tae be in the situation until you knew what you’d decide, and… well, now you are.”

“Not yet.” Jane said, ever optimistic. He huffed loudly and sat next to Demo, placing his hands over his stomach. It was churning quite a bit, but he wasn't one to get sick from nerves. “Tavish…Do you…” He stopped, gathering his courage to face what Demo might say. “Do you wish we'd never found out about the War? That everything had just stayed the same? We wouldn't have become friends again, but…We also wouldn't be in a position of needing to run from our jobs, and for our lives. Things might have been easier if we stayed enemies.”

Tavish didn’t hesitate. “Nae for a second.” He put a hand on Soldier’s thigh, to show he was serious. “I never want us tae hate each other again. I’m nae goin’ tae pretend like we havnae lost things along the way, but I am a firm believer that if somethin’ is important tae you, then you have tae sacrifice for it. Would I like tae stay here, live a happy-robot killin’ life? O’ course! But if that meant givin’ up the time we got tae spend together, then I’d sooner take the unknown with you at my side, than hate you in ignorance.”

Every time Soldier feared their relationship was one-sided in some way, Demo always came through for him. Every time it happened it made Jane's heart swell, and he liked him just a little bit more. Then there was the hand resting on his thigh, it felt to Jane like it was burning him. Not painfully, but it seemed to scream it's presence to him.

“I feel the same way,” he sighed. “If…if this is really happening, then I will come with you. Seems kind of ridiculous to give up everything for you then go our separate ways.” He placed a hand on Tavish's back, sliding slowly upwards before curling it over his far shoulder. “Don't think I'm going to start wearing kilts and being Scottish though, I'm still an American.”

“I know, lad. I’d be concerned for your health if you told me otherwise. Although,” Tavish paused, “I wouldnae mind swindlin’ you intae a kilt. You certainly have the legs for it.”

Demo tapped a foot against Soldier’s pant leg to illustrate his point.

“Shut up, Tavish…” Jane had meant to yell it, but the words just came out weak and embarrassed, matching the flush on his face. “You don't have to make fun of me.”

He pulled Demo a little closer, just enough that their heads gently knocked together.

“Oh but I do,” Tavish explained. “If I dunnae tease you, you’ll become a stick-in-the mud, just like when I met you.”

Tavish thought back to that fateful morning. Who knew that a simple weapons expo would bring him here today? Who could guess that a surly man in a blue t-shirt would change his life so much?

Jane laughed, “yeah, I was shit back then.” He continued laughing until the reality of how much he had changed began to dawn on him. “I really am…better, since meeting you Tavish. Even after we started hating each other, some things you said to me just stuck. I still wasn't MVP, but my team started to like me more, said I was less annoying to be around.”

Jane felt guilty for getting Demo stuck in bad situations, and he was also good at calling Soldier out when he said dumb shit. He supposed he'd learned a lot from that, and was occasionally able to shut his mouth before he said something to piss off his team.

“Well, I cannae blame you,” Tavish relented. “I was kinda an arse back then, too.” It had only been three years, but if felt like he was looking back decades at a much younger man. “I was obsessed with livin’ up tae my family’s expectations, impossible as they may be. No one can be the perfect son, no matter how hard he tries. You helped with that, I think. A little rebellion was good for me.”

He felt like his hand had been on Soldier’s thigh for an awful long time. He curled his fingers inward, so it was more of just lying there than gripping.

The movement stirred something in Jane, and he just couldn't take it anymore. With the arm further from Tavish, Jane placed his palm on the top of the hand, wrapping his fingers around it in a firm hold. He felt hot, he was terrified, but God it felt so good, so right, so perfect. Even if his hand was slightly sweaty from fear, it didn't matter. It felt like he'd been waiting to do this for years, as if it wasn't something he'd thought of impulsively a few moments ago.

“I-I guess we are just good for each other.” Jane couldn't stop the shaking in his voice.

Tavish swallowed. The hand on his own felt like it was burning his skin. He wanted to rip it away, to jump back, to pretend like the feelings he has right now don’t matter. Instead, he froze, staring at where he knew Soldier’s eyes were.

“That’s one way to put it,” he practically whispered.

They were so close, Jane could feel Tavish's breath on his face. If he were to just, lean a little closer…turn a little farther then- …No! Jane leaped of from the bed as if it had burned him. Tavish jerked away too, surprise on his face.

Jane’s mind was reeling, and he walked all the way to the other end of his room before coming back. “Ah…Sorry Tavish, thought I heard something. This whole thing has me on edge,” he said in what he hoped was a calm manner. Whatever was going on with him right now had to be dealt with later, this was not the time for…whatever that was.

Tavish’s stomach twisted painfully. Jane was upset, he could tell, and he himself wasn’t sure what just happened. The awkwardness in the room was thick enough to cut, and Tavish wanted nothing more than to escape it. Making Jane uncomfortable was the last thing he ever wanted to do.

He stood. “I need tae go pack. See you soon. One way or another.”

Tavish left. After he was gone, Jane put his head in his hands. What was he doing? What the hell _was_ that? He'd been seconds away from…If he hadn't run away… _He'd almost kissed him._  How fucked up was that? How did something like that even happen? The worst part was he still wanted it, he wanted Tavish to come back and to feel that terrible stomach twisting fear and excitement again.

Was he gay? It was a terrifying thought for someone like him. But it couldn't be, he wasn't interested in the Demoman sexually, that much he was sure of. So what _did_ it mean then?

Jane just sat on the floor where he'd been standing. The realization they were going to have to flee the base was bad enough, but now his own twisted thoughts added a whole new layer of stress. Jane just let himself sit there, he didn't know what else to do.

* * *

Maybe if Tavish stared at the bag long enough it would fill itself.

He had packed all they needed: cash, clothing, some spare toothbrushes because he knew Jane would forget to bring his own. The Eyelander complained at him from the closet (like it had been doing for weeks) but he ignored it. There was still space left, but anything else could either be bought on the road or was tucked away in Tavish’s home.

Shit. He was really going to miss that mansion.

But the most important part, the woman who lived inside it, would be safe as long as he gave the signal soon. He hadn’t lived in America for four years without gaining at least a few reliable friends.

With packing killing less time than he hoped, he went out to the front lawn. Okay, lawn was bit of an exaggeration. There was no grass, it was merely a stretch of hard packed dirt that connected the base to the long, meandering driveway. If things went well, Spy’s car would come up this road, bringing good tidings and safety. He could practically see it, that blue corvette, gleaming in the desert heat, racing up the driveway like there was no tomorrow…

Wait. That _was_ Spy’s car!

He stood from his spot on the patio with a jerk. It only took a few seconds for Spy’s car to come to a halt, throwing open its doors and revealing its passengers.

Yes, passengers plural. Spy stepped out, taking a moment to help Miss Pauling exit the vehicle. Not sure if he should be feeling fear or joy, Demo started dumbfounded at the both of them. Should he attack her? Although he might have been unarmed, there was no doubt Pauling wasn’t. She would kill him before he even took a few paces, but the sight of seeing his second worse fear step out of a corvette right in front of his eye made every hair stand on end.

“Ah, Mr. DeGroot,” Pauling said, stepping in front of him without a hint of reserve. “A pleasure to see you again. Spy has alerted me there is a matter we need to discuss. Would you mind getting Mr. Doe so the four of us could talk in private?”

The sentence “get away from me, she-demon” almost escaped Demo’s mouth. Instead, he glanced at Spy, looking for some kind of explanation.

The masked man nodded in silence, reassurance in his eyes. Maybe this was his plan all along?

Demo swallowed. Spy could have run a few hours ago when he had the chance; instead, he had stayed and helped against his own self-interest. Demo had to return the favour, and trust him in kind.

“Aye, sure. I’ll be back in a jiff.”

He turned away from Pauling and Spy, breaking into a run as soon as he was out of sight. He sprinted all the way along the base, back up to Jane’s room. Remembering what Jane said about not needing to knock, he burst in, panting in the doorway.

“Jane! Spy’s back! He and Pauling want tae talk to us!”

Jane was pulled from his snivelling misery. He scrambled to his feet, doing his best to wipe of any evidence of his momentary weakness.

“Really? Pauling’s here? We should go back now, come on!” he yelled, shoving Tavish to try and tell him to lead the way. He had to know what was going on, and they both ran early full speed through the base, completely out of breath by the time they were back outside.

Pauling was the one to lead them once she had observed their panting state. They went into a back room, one that Tavish had never seen before, and Pauling motioned for them to sit. It looked like an office: a desk, a file cabinet, and no bed.

Spy sat in a chair next to Pauling, while Demo and Soldier sat opposite the desk. Demo unconsciously scooted closer to Soldier, just to feel safe.

“Spy has told me what happened to cause your…reunion,” Pauling began, eyeing the closeness of the mercenaries. “I believe I can come to a compromise, one that doesn’t involve killing two of our best fighters in an attempt to cover up a no longer relevant secret.”

Jane nodded along as Pauling spoke, a feeling of relief washing over him. He quickly looked over at Tavish for some reassurance that this was good, but his face was still stern. He was probably waiting to hear the whole story before he had anything to say about it.

Jane shifted his foot until it tapped against Tavish's boot. It wasn't much, but it was the best reassurance he could give under the circumstances. But the moment in Jane’s bedroom was too fresh in Tavish’s mind, and he jerked his foot away. Trying to ignore Jane’s closeness, he focused on Pauling instead.

“What is the compromise?” Jane asked bluntly, not wanting to wait as Pauling tried to beat around the bush. “We don't want to resort to any…drastic measures either.”

“Drastic measures? What?” The aggressive secretary mask was starting to slip, and Demo recognized the energetic (if pushy) young woman he used to know. “No, nothing like that.”

Pauling sighed, shoving her glasses up on her face and rubbing her eyes.

“Look guys,” she continued, “I never wanted to start any of this. I thought it was an overreaction: you guys managed to go six months without figuring things out, so what were the chances you would afterwards? Honestly, I’m just glad she didn’t have me kill you over it. I like you guys, I think you’re very sweet together.”

The implication of Pauling's words managed to go right over Jane's head. “So what does it mean for us now!” He said, growing desperate for answers. The suspense was killing him. Anything that let them keep their jobs and each other was all he could ask for, but he still felt afraid to hope until he could look at Tavish and tell that he felt relieved as well.

“What I’m saying is,” Pauling continued, “the Administrator doesn’t care that you two are friends. She just cares that this invasion is defeated, and she thinks that won’t happen if you guys ever figured out what we did. But I know better.”

Pauling looked over at Spy. He nodded.

“I’m willing to make you a deal. If you three agree to keep this on the ground floor, I’ll cover for you. You two can remain friends, you’ll continue to fight for Mann Co, and I’ll not breathe a word to the Administrator.”

She leaned forward.

“Is that acceptable?”

“Yes!” Jane jumped up, knocking his chair over and slamming his hands on Pauling's desk.“Right Tav- I mean- Demo, isn't that fine? We can do that right? We can go back to how things were!” Jane was obviously excited, sounding akin to a kid who'd received a puppy for Smissmas. All he needed was a nod, or something from Tavish to tell him everything was going to be ok.

Tavish looked at Jane, and then at Spy. The lack of Medic in the room was already sign enough that Pauling didn’t know the full story. She he trust Spy that this deal would work?

He looked once again at those blue eyes, watching him from a red mask. He thought to the two invis watches stashed in his pack.

Standing, he stood shoulder to shoulder with Soldier, and extended his hand to Pauling.

“You got yourself a deal, lass.”

Demo didn't get the chance to shake Pauling's hand, because he ended up with an armful of Soldier instead. They'd been hugging a lot recently, but Jane couldn't think of a better reason than this. The secrecy was over, the worry was over, the chance of having to betray his country and become Scottish was over. Jane had never felt more relieved in his life.

“It's over, it's all over,” he laughed, still holding onto Tavish without a care for their audience. “Don't worry Ms. Pauling, we fight much better together than we do apart.” He looked over his shoulder at her and Spy. They both looked slightly amused by such public displays of affection from the Soldier. He didn't care though, he never wanted to let Tavish go again.

For once, Demo felt he could share Soldier’s optimism. What had been a hug turned into a crushing embrace, Demo doing his darnedest to lift his friend off the ground.

“It’s over,” Tavish echoed.

He then looked over at Spy and Pauling, disbelief melting into gratitude.

“Thank you. Both of you.”

He rested his chin on Jane's shoulder and sighed.


	14. Chapter 14

Things were finally back to how they should be for Tavish and Jane. The team was none the wiser that they'd been moments away from fleeing the war, just slightly confused that the two of them were getting along at random. But the team had nothing to complain about, since Jane and Tavish were once again a terror on the battlefield. The team stopped having so much difficulty holding back the bomb, and their everyday missions became almost easy.

At meals they could sit together again, close enough to swap food on each other's plate if it wasn't something they liked. It wasn't the only strangely intimate habit they'd formed over the next few weeks. They'd started doing their laundry together if they didn't have enough for a full load, and Soldier would break into Demo's room weekly to help him clean, much to Tavish's chagrin.

Jane's feelings hadn't changed in this time—he still felt tempted to get closer and closer to Demo—and he still didn't really know how to process it. Tavish was the only person he could talk to about these things, so it was very frustrating that he was also the object of these new and strange affections. Soldier just had to suffer quietly, enjoying their friendship but trying not to let things go to far.

Weeks went by, and soon two months passed. It was fall now, and they were nearing the end of their stay at this base. Pauling arrived one morning, telling them that the robot army was indeed moving out and heading north in a few days. Apparently it was going quite far, and the slow land-ship would take over a week to arrive.

“I'm giving you guys a vacation.” She said, surprising the lot of them. “As long as you get to the new base by 12 O'clock on the 28th, and don't leave before your last mission at this base, you can do whatever you want for those 8 days.”

Any gear they didn't want to transport themselves could be packed up and left at the base, Mann Co. would take care of shipping it over. There was still a few days to go, but Jane was already excited about the concept of a vacation. It was the first off base time they'd been allowed since the start of the robot war.

“Tavish we should go on an actual vacation somewhere, like to Washington, or the Grand Canyon!” Jane was rambling to Demo after another hard day of battle. “I guess we should head up north towards the new base…should we drive or fly there? Maybe take a train, I haven't been on a train in ages! … Demo?”

Tavish hadn't said anything since leaving the battlefield, he'd just let Jane talk on and on.

“Come on Tavish, surely you don't just want to go straight to the new base and laze around, that's so boring.”

“No, I dunnae,” Demo agreed.

Unbeknownst to Soldier, he had been planning something for them to do as soon as Pauling had announced it. Soldier had assumed they would spend the vacation together, and Demo didn’t mind the supposition. As much as he wanted to go see his Mum, Jane was more important at the moment, and they had a lot of lost time to make up for.

He wanted it to be a surprise. Not to spring it on him a day before leaving of anything, but at least to wait for the right moment.

“I still need tae think about it. Do you want tae discuss it over drinks tonight?”

They spent a lot of nights like that, hanging around the base in various locations while getting shit-faced.

“Fine…” Jane groaned, rolling his eyes. As far as he knew Demo really was just being lazy about the entire vacation thing. “I don't want to try anymore of your weird Scottish beers tonight though, I'm going to stick with good old American brew.”

A few hours later and the team all settled in around the kitchen table, Tavish and Jane next to each other as usual. Tavish picked one of the mushrooms off Jane’s plate, and turned his own so that Jane could grab the raspberries if he wanted. They were too sour for the Demoman, but Jane seemed to enjoy the tartness.

The two of them split off from the team after dinner, lounging about on the brittle grass just outside of spawn. As he and Soldier bantered about the quality of American vs. Scottish beers, Demo gingerly touched the postcard hidden in his pocket.

Tavish took a deep breath. “Hey, Jane. I got a surprise for you.”

Jane had been enjoying their conversation, even if it was more a debate than anything. He couldn't help but assume this 'surprise' was somehow related. He propped himself up on his forearms.

“It's not more weird beer is it? I thought I said I don't want it today,” Jane grumbled, turning more towards Tavish while the dead grass prickled into his skin.

“No, it’s nae that.”

Tavish withdrew the postcard from his pocket. It was from Yosemite national park, the bold yellow lettering and erupting geyser saying as much. He passed the card to Jane.

“I think a campin’ trip would suit us fine. Yosemite has a whole bunch o’ packages, where you can rent all the tents and gear and shit. I reserved us a spot up there, and we can get to the new base by the 28th in plenty o’ time. All I got tae do is get the tickets.”

Jane grinned at Tavish, honestly surprised that he'd actually planned something, and kept it a secret no less!

“That sounds like a great idea Demo,” he said, taking a closer look at the postcard. “I've never been there before, and haven't been camping since I was out in the middle of the German wilderness… It'll be an adventure!” Not to mention a whole week just to themselves would be amazing…

Or, maybe it wouldn't?

A bit of worry started to surface. It was those feelings again. Was it really the best idea for them to be out in the forest by themselves? Would his feelings get the best of him and make things awkward again?

No, It didn't matter. He wasn't going to let some stupid sissy emotions keep him from an entire week with his best friend.

“Great!” Demo grinned. “I’ll book the tickets tomorrow.” Demo leaned back onto the grass before a thought occurred to him. “I’m bringing me own beer though, and there’s nothin’ you can do tae stop me.”

* * *

The last few days before the trip was spent in fervent preparation. Demo wasn’t usually an anal person, but this time he couldn’t help but nitpick over every little thing. He wanted this trip to be perfect, something special to celebrate their friendship. For some reason, it felt like a big event. Like something momentous was happening for the both of them.

The day to depart came, the team saying their final goodbyes. Most of them were headed home to family or to their houses in the badlands, but Medic said he was going on vacation as well. To say Demo was shocked would be an understatement; he’d never known Medic to take a day off in his life, let alone a full week. Suposedly, he had family in Hamburg he wanted to visit. No one called him out on this.

Spy also said he was going on vacation, but wouldn’t tell where. That was unsurprising, although it stung a little to see him step into his blue car and disappear without a word. Spy had sorted things out with Medic apparently, but had never acknowledged it around Demo. It was still sudden to see him go. A goodbye might have been nice.

Finally, Jane and Tavish were stepping onto the train to take them away from the dry, New Mexican desert, and up north through the Rocky Mountains. From there, they took a bus. Demo was careful not to fall asleep on Soldier this time; the bus was far more crowded than the team one, and it was best not to start a fuss.

Finally, they arrived at park entrance, gear in hand and a hike up to their camping spot ahead.

“What do you think, Jane?” Tavish grinned. “This place beat the German wilderness?”

“Definitely,” Jane nodded. “Germany is a miserable place, and it's impossible to beat the beauty of America, anyhow.”

It was the perfect day for a hike. It was still warm, with the sun beating down overhead, but there was a gentle Autumn breeze to keep them cool. Jane had traded out his helmet for a beige sunhat, he felt he needed to wear something on his head while out in public, but once it was just the two of them he'd be comfortable enough to go without. It felt strange to be out of his uniform, but it was also a relief not to have to wear his thick, long-sleeved jacket for once.

The only thing that had not been left at the base was his entrenching tool, it had served him well in Germany, and it would do the same now. It was strapped to the side of his pack, along with a small hatchet. Inside his bag Jane carried their food and cooking supplies (really just a can opener, a pot, and a few utensils.) Demo's pack carried their sleeping bags and clothing, but he also had the task of carrying the two-person tent provided by the park. Luckily, firewood was already at the site, since they had no way of transporting it.

They arrived at the Campsite around three. It was a pretty small clearing, with a fire pit and an old picnic table. Jane set to work unloading the tools from his pack and then hanging the food up in a nearby tree.

Demo fumbled with the tent. This couldn’t be that hard, could it? It came with instructions, but Demo had always been better at learning on the fly. Trial and error worked for building a bomb, why not a tent?

“Fuck!” Demo shouted when the tent collapsed for the fourth time.

He thought for sure that camping would come naturally to him. After all, he loved the outdoors, and setting up a tent was just the sort of manly thing you were supposed to do when you went camping. He sighed and grabbed the instructions.

Finally, with the tent set he began to work on the fire. That was easy, at least. He hadn’t lived with two separate Pyros over the past four years without picking up a few tricks.

He had just created a little burn when he noticed where Soldier was putting the food.

“Jane, what are you doin’? What good is that goin’ tae do us up there?”

“Haven't you ever spent time outdoors before?” Soldier tutted. “You have to put it where the animals won't get it! You don't want a bear just walking in and eating all our food do you?” Jane looked at Tavish like he was an idiot. “Now what type of pansy-ass fire is that? Put more wood on it!” Jane quickly busied himself with telling Demo he was doing everything wrong.

Soon enough the fire had grown from a few small flames to something much more impressive. Once Jane was satisfied, he went over to where Demo had left his backpack, pulling out an old wool blanket and spreading it out in front of the fire. It worked well as a bit of a barrier between the dirt and dry grass, making sitting on the ground a bit more comfortable. Jane patted the spot beside him, summoning Tavish over onto the more comfortable ground.

It was extremely embarrassing being shown up like that; usually when Jane badgered Tavish, it was just because he was a naturally competitive man and enjoyed kicking Tavish’s ass into gear. But now, with undeniable certainty, Demo could see that Jane was better at this camping shit than him. He stuck out his feet towards the fire.

“So it's only a bit longer until dinner, do you want to go do some more hiking tomorrow?” Jane asked, thinking of things they could do.

Tavish sat next to Jane, resisting the urge so scoot closer in defiance of the autumn chill.

“Sure, that sounds great. I have a feelin’ we’ll be doin’ a lot o’ hikin’ in the next week.” He stared mournfully at the fire. “I cannae believe they made me get rid of my booze at the door. That has tae be against our rights or somethin’. Dunnae you have a constitutional thing about that?”

“You're thinking of guns,” Jane said.

Demo grumbled something about mixed priorities.

Things were quiet after that, they didn't really have much to say. It wasn't a bad thing, they were just content to sit next to each other and enjoy the heat of the fire. Eventually the Demoman leaned back on the blanket with his arms behind his head, and a little while after that he dozed off. Jane was content with letting him sleep for an hour or so.

As the sun began to set Jane rose from the blanket and started the process of readying food. He pulled the bag down from the tree and retrieved two portions of a canned stew. He dumped the can's contents into the small pot and brought it back to the fire. Jane tossed the metal grate over the coals and placed the pot on top, stirring it every once in a while.

“Hey Tavish, food's almost ready,” he said, trying to wake the Demo up.

Tavish rolled awake, drawn to consciousness by the delicious smell of the stew. As the two of them ate from plastic bowls, he decided to acknowledge his failure as a manly man.

“This is a lot harder than I expected. How’d you get tae be so good at outdoors-y crap? Was it just in Germany, or did you camp when you were a kid too?”

Wincing, Tavish immediately regretted his question. He had forgotten that Jane didn’t remember much from his childhood.

“I guess I earned it all in Germany,” Jane sighed, putting down his bowl. “And…I don't really know if I ever did it as a kid.”

They both sat in the awkward silence for a while, neither of them knowing what to say.

“I really don't think about it much,” Soldier continued. “I forget that most people remember their childhoods. If I didn't know any better I'd think I came into this world fully grown.” His laugh was humorless. “I've thought about trying to find out a bit more about where I come from but…Whenever I do something feels off. Like whatever I find won't be good. I think I'm better off not remembering.”

They stayed quiet like that as they finished their meal, awkwardness hanging in the air. Jane felt a little bad about killing the mood.

“I'm sorry about that, didn't mean to make things depressing. It honestly doesn't bother me much.”

“Dunnae worry about it,” Tavish soothed. “That’s why guys take extended trips intae the woods, innit? We’re bondin’. Gettin’ tae know each other. Gettin’ closer.”

On his last word, he scooted right up next to the Soldier, lightly elbowing him in the ribs.

“I feel like you already know everything about me,” Jane sighed, elbowing Demo back. “Oh, I almost forgot: this is yours.” He pulled a small hand-held flashlight from his pocket and handed it to Tavish. “Don't want you getting lost because you had to take a piss in the middle of the night.”

“Just because I cannae set up a bloody tent dunnae mean I’m goin’ tae get lost!”

Despite himself, Tavish wasn’t really offended. He took the flashlight gratefully, following Jane’s gaze to the sunset.

“It’s beautiful out here. You get so used tae sand ‘n tumbleweeds, you forget what real nature is like. I wouldnae go so far as tae say it reminds me o’ home, but it sure is a sight better than seein’ hoodoos day after day.”

“Yeah,” Jane mumbled, taking in a deep breath of the fresh air. “Don't have to worry about bug bites in the desert though.” Jane smacked a mosquito on his arm. “Though they are more a nuisance than anything.”

They watched the sun set below the horizon, and as the glow of the sun faded the campfire was the only light they could see.

“Don't suppose you know any of them monster stories about this area, do you?” Jane asked. He wasn't sure he believed everything the Demoman said about mythical creatures, but the stories were always interesting regardless. He watch a ghoulish smile creep across Tavish’s face.

“Oh, I know the monster stories, lad,” he whispered. “But I dunno if I think you’ll be able tae stomach them. You might come cryin’ tae me in the middle o’ the night ‘cause you think a Hodag’s chewin’ on your slippers.”

“I didn't bring slippers,” Jane said bluntly, crossing his arms. “I've heard your stories before Tavish, they are nothing to be afraid of.”

It was definitely meant to be a challenge, there was a spark in Jane's eye as he stared at Tavish with a smug expression. Tavish knew Jane was goading him, and he was eager to accept.

“Oh, maybe you’ve heard me stories ‘bout the monsters that live overseas, the ones you dunnae have tae be afraid o’ while you’re snug in your bed. But Jane, I’ll tell you, there are plenty o’ monsters that live right here, in these forest o’ the Pacific Northwest.”

Tavish moved back from Jane and leaned forward menacingly, feeling the beginnings of a story swell up through his bones.

“There’s one that has killed more men than you or I combined. There are many like it, livin’ all over the world: The Yeren, the Mande Barung, the Barmanou. But here, it’s called the _Sasquatch._ ”

“If it's killed so many people,” Jane mused, not letting the dramatics of it sink in, “maybe RED or BLU should have hired it instead.” He had trouble believing he hadn't heard of some creature so vicious it had killed more people than him and Demo.

“Oh, this creature dunnae work for money,” Tavish explained. “It kills purely for the bloodlust, to see its victims scream in agony as it slowly rips out each of their organs one by one. It eats its victims while they’re still alive, you see. Some call it a cannibal. Why you ask? _It’s a monster_ , you say, _nae like us tall, walkin’ men._ Only it _is_.”

Tavish’s eye bored into Jane’s, glinting in the firelight.

“It’s a humanoid, an apelike creature descended from the same simians we are. Only its claws are as long as your forearm, and its teeth can cut through steel.” Tavish lifted his lip with a finger, illustrating his point. “They beast is massive, like both Heavys standing on each other’s shoulders. Only it moves silently, so the victims never know it’s coming.”

Jane listened intently to Tavish's yarn, enjoying the gory details. He loved how quickly and deeply Tavish could get into these stories, he wondered offhandedly where he heard them all in the first place.

“Surely something that big and deadly would be in the papers. And how come no one has hunted it down yet?” His questions were a mix of not believing the validity of the story, and just plain curiosity.

“No one wants tae _believe_ Jane,” Demo insisted. “They dunnae want tae think that somethin’ so cruel and merciless is walkin’ right outside their windows. And the ones that _do_ believe may try to kill it, but they’ll never succeed. It’s too strong, too ancient, too powerful. It has been here for hundreds of years before us, and it will stalk these woods long after we’re gone.”

Usually at this point in the story he had Scout shaking in his shoes. But Soldier was made from sterner stuff, and merely listened with interest. Tavish didn’t mind. He liked when Jane watched him like this, just happy to listen.

“Mmhm.” Jane just nodded along, not wanting to antagonize Tavish anymore.

He liked watching Tavish talk, he was always so expressive when telling his stories. His face was lit up by the glow of the fire, his handsome features covered in soft light. Yes, Jane was content just to watch. He put an elbow on his knee and rested his cheek on his hand, gazing half-lidded as the story came to a finish.

“The only way tae save yourself is tae smell it,” Tavish warned. “The creature has an odour like a skunk, and its scent travels for miles. It has no fear of fire or iron or hand grenades, but it only ever eats one victim at a time. So, if you smell it comin’ there’s still hope. You dunnae have tae outrun the beast, you only have tae outrun me,” Tavish finished with a wink.

Jane laughed, straightening his back and stretching his arms overhead.

“I'm not afraid of any smelly forest monster. You're lucky I'm here Tavish. If that thing comes for us I'll be the one to kill it, you'll just be cowering and soiling yourself.”

“That’s the sort of thinkin’ that’s goin’ tae get you chewed on, lad. More like you’re goin’ tae try and kill it, and I’m goin’ tae have tae come and bail your arse out.”

Jane yawned, the hike up to the campsite had really taken a lot out of him. It was still early in the evening and he didn't feel like going to bed yet, so he just laid down on the blanked with his arms behind his head, much like Demo had just before dinner. The evening chill caused the hairs of his arms to stand on end, but the fire warmed his feet. Jane found it was a comfortable compromise as Tavish lay down next to him. The leaves had turned orange in the early autumn, but hadn’t fallen yet. They could barely see the stars poking through the treetops.

“It would be like that time I actually had tae post your bail,” Demo continued. “Do you remember when you climbed that statue in the middle of park and got arrested? You were lucky we hadnae gone tae the bar yet, otherwise me pockets would have been dry.”

“Those birds were DEFILING an image of George Washington! I can't believe they had the gall to arrest me while I was doing my civic duty,” Jane argued. He hadn't thought about that day in a long time. “You wouldn't let it go all day. You wouldn't have won _half_ those bar fights, though, if I hadn't been there backing you up. You might be good at throwing bombs, but you can't throw a punch for shit when you're drunk.”

“Ah, screw you,” Tavish protested. “I’m great in a fight, I could’ve done ‘em all without you. In fact, I bet I can take you right now!”

Without any more warning than that, Tavish leapt on his friend. Instead of throwing a punch, he once again went for the edge of Soldier’s shirt, initiating the tickle fight of the century.

Jane let out a girlish shriek, completely unprepared for the attack. He tried to grab Tavish's hands, but the Scotsman was too quick, and started attacking under his armpits instead. Jane was laughing, he couldn't help it. He tried to clamp his arms down but it just made Demo return to his sides. Jane convulsed, turning on his side, then flipping over, rolling around on the blanket and doing everything in his power to get away.

“Is that how you’re goin’ tae fight the Sasquatch, lad? Goin’ tae laugh it tae death?”

Tavish went for Jane’s exposed stomach, trying to elicit more laughter. He could barely stop laughing himself; watching Jane’s attempts to defeat him were more funny the more wild they became.

“Look at you! You can barely fend _me_ off.”

Knowing he was pretty much asking for a kick in the groin at this point, he dug his fingers into Jane’s ribcage.

Soldier was wheezing, in any other kind of fight he'd be able to get the upper hand, but every little graze and nudge of fingers on his skin just sent him into spasms. It was virtually impossible to get control of his body. It was getting to the point he couldn't take it anymore, it almost felt like he was going to pass out.

“A-alright! I give!” Jane yelped in between gasping laughter. “I surrender Tavish! J-just let me…! Breathe!”

Tavish accepted the surrender by flopping next to the panting Soldier. He felt warm from the one-sided fight, even in the chilly autumn night.

“Seems like I can beat you without even throwing a punch,” he mused, watching Jane regain his breath.

He rested his chin on his folded arms. Jane was flushed red with effort, lying on his side like Tavish might change his mind and attack him again.

“You fight dirty,” Jane said between pants, “I don't remember anything about the Sasquatch tickling anybody to death.” He wriggled a bit, straightening his shirt, before resting his head on an outstretched arm.

As hard as he found it to breath, he didn't dislike when Tavish occasionally attacked him like that. It was a silly thing they liked to do, and it gave him permission to initiate a tousle later, one that would be a bit less one-sided.

“Maybe I just dinnae tell you about those victims,” Tavish replied sleepily.

The long hike and the sudden burst of energy did a number on him, despite his earlier nap. He closed his eye.

“You should tell me a story,” Tavish reasoned, “since I’ve told you one. Somethin’ that will lull this old geezer off to sleep.”

“Well, we should probably move into the tent then.”

Jane doused the fire while Tavish held a flashlight overhead. The two then wandered sleepily into the tent. It was pretty cramped, but offered just enough space for the two of them to fit in side by side. Tavish clicked off the flashlight and snuggled deep into his sleeping bag, it was much colder without the heat of the fire.

As Tavish had suggested, Jane began telling a story. He wasn't as good at painting a picture with words, but he got his point across well enough. The story was about some of his adventures in the German wilderness during WWII.

The tale wasn't long, but Jane expected Tavish had fallen asleep. He rolled onto his back and stared into the pitch black void. Although was excited to sleep next to Tavish again, it had been a while since there had been a proper excuse to do so. His feelings for Tavish were still present, and left alone in the dark Jane could feel them thrumming in his chest. As dumb as he was about his own feelings, a suspicion had started to emerge. He needed someone's confirmation though, and Demo really was the only one he could ask.

“Hey Tavish?” He said quietly into the dark. “You awake?”

“No,” Tavish replied. “I’m deep in the throws of dreamland, fighting a giant hot dog on roller skates.”

When there wasn’t a reply, he worried Jane had taken him seriously. He rolled onto his side, getting a view of the drowsy Soldier.

“I’m kiddin’, lad. What was it you wanted tae talk about?”

“Oh… nothing really.” Soldier mumbled nervously. Jane knew Tavish had rolled over to look at him, and even though it was dark he didn't have the courage to face him. Instead, he just continued staring up at nothing. Even though he was nervous, Jane didn't want Demo getting impatient, so he decided to just bite the bullet and ask.

“Have you ever…been in love before?” It sounded stupid coming out of his mouth, and he could feel the blood rushing to his face. Jane resisted the urge to pull the sleeping bag over his head and hide.

Taivhs’s natural reaction was to laugh it off and call Soldier a girl. It’s the treatment Tavish would have gotten if he had asked the same, but, for some reason, he hesitated. Jane was asking him for a reason, and it wasn’t because they were completely smashed and getting to the weird hypothetical part of the night. No, Jane really wanted to know the answer.

“Yeah. I’ve been in love.”

Jane nodded solemnly, before realizing Demo couldn't see him.

“Ah, yeah…I guess everyone has.” Jane hesitated, biting his lip.

He couldn't help but wonder who Tavish had fallen in love with, but it wasn't important, so he shook off the thought.

“I haven't,” he admitted awkwardly, fingers picking at a loose stitch in the sleeping bag. “That's not normal is it? For someone as old as me.”

Tavish wished he had decided to stay facing the other way instead of turning to look at Soldier. Even the faint outline of his shape was enough to make Tavish feel self-conscious. But there was no way for Jane to know Tavish meant him unless someone told him that, and Tavish certainly wasn’t going to.

“O’ course nae,” Tavish soothed. “I dinnae fall in love until I was a lot older. And it doesnnae matter when you fall in love. Some people dunnae at all, and they’re just as happy as long as they got friends and family tae support them. The point is tae keep livin’ your life without it, and nae tae dwell if it doesnnae come your way.”

Jane pondered those words carefully, both relieved and confused by them. He was glad his experience wasn't so bizarre, but at the same time, when had Tavish fallen in love? With whom? Had it been after they'd met? The idea made Jane very uncomfortable.

“I want to ask you one more thing.” His voice was barely above a whisper. “This isn't girl-talk alright? It's serious.” Tavish didn't make any sign he understood, but Jane decided to continue anyway. “I just want to know…what does it feel like?”

“Wonderful,” Tavish replied instantly, no longer thinking of his words. “It’s…hard tae describe beyond that. When you see them, you feel like your heart is swelling. Not in a bad way, though!”

He knew he should stop talking. Jane will think he’s a sap at best and a crazy man at worst, but he can’t help it. Everything he had ever felt for Jane, every stolen glance, ever pang of longing, it all seemed to bubble up at once.

“You want tae be with them. All the time. When you’re nae with them, they’re there in the back of your mind even if you’re nae outright thinking about them. You want them to be happy, to protect them, to let them know nothing was their fault. You imagine a future together.”

The words were tumbling out now, and Tavish felt like he needed to pace around or something. But the sleeping bag trapped him, and instead he had to clench his fists in anxiety.

“You want tae touch them. Nae necessarily to kiss all the time, but you crave the little brushes of skin or displays o’ affection. You love their smile. You love everythin’ they hate about themselves. And it doesnnae matter if they love you back or nae because all you care about is if they’re happy.”

Tavish felt a tightness in his throat. It all came so fast, he didn't even remember what he said.

“So, yeah. That’s what it’s like.”

Jane blinked in the darkness.

Every feeling Tavish had described was exactly how Jane felt. The moment was almost surreal, to finally have a word for what he was feeling was such a relief. He loved Tavish, he was in love with his best friend. Heat bloomed in his chest, working it's way out to his fingertips. He wanted to tell him, he wanted to tell him right now, to embrace him, and kiss him, and never let him go.

He realized now that there was a possibility Tavish might be interested in men. The idea had never crossed his mind before, but if Jane could fall in love with one, who was to say Tavish couldn't as well? Maybe if he confessed his feelings…Tavish might be willing to give it a try. They were compatible as friends and teammates, the odds seemed good they were compatible as more than that as well.

At the same time, he was scared. Scared Tavish would hate him instead, be disgusted by him and never want to see him again. What if he tried to act like it was ok, but the one-sided feelings just ate away at their friendship until it completely collapsed? Was that something he was willing to risk?

“Thanks Tavish,” Jane said, rolling over to face away from him. He would have to figure it out in the morning.

Thanks? Really? Was that the only thing Soldier had to say on the subject? Some part of Tavish told him he should be relieved, that he should be grateful that Jane hadn’t seen through his obvious blubbering. But the rest of him was…disappointed? With himself maybe, for not owning up to his feelings sooner. He heard Jane roll onto his side, and he did the same, facing away from his friend.

“Hey, anytime.”

Quietly, as the crickets chirped outside and the tress rustled in the breeze, Tavish began falling asleep, an acute pain in his chest he recognized all too well.

“Night Janey.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The last chapter will be up on Sunday! Who's excited???


	15. Chapter 15

The two of them woke with the sun the next day, the chirping of birds a pleasant sound. Jane and Tavish both felt incredibly self-conscious around the other all morning, each so paranoid about his own awkwardness he didn’t notices the other’s. Jane prepared oatmeal for breakfast, and packed up some canned tuna and crackers for lunch.

After putting out the morning fire and making sure their food was again secure in the tree, Jane and Tavish headed out down the nearby trail. Their plan was to get high enough to get a view of the whole park, and according to the maps provided to them it would take until about noon to get there.

They didn't talk much, Jane already so absorbed in his own thoughts. He let Tavish lead the way, and spent more time staring at his back than at the scenery. He was just so focused on figuring out if he should tell him how he felt that he couldn't focus on anything else.

As they wound their way up the mountain, Tavish hoped he was reading the map right. He would ask Jane, but his friend was absorbed in his own thoughts, idly looking at his feet instead of the idyllic view around them. That way was definitely north, Tavish could tell that much, but he wasn’t sure if they had passed the granite rock landmark already or not.

Jane was carrying a picnic lunch, but Tavish would loath to stop and eat before reaching their destination. Supposedly, the view from the lookout point would be gorgeous, the only real place to have a scenic meal. He was just about to give up and ask Jane for directions when he spied it. That was definitely the landmark, which mean they only had to take a left at the next fork and be at the point in forty-five minutes.

When they arrived, Tavish nearly lost his breath. He hadn’t seen a view this gorgeous in years, and the hills of his homeland paled in comparison. The basin stretched out before them, filled with trees and formed by thousands of years of glacial activity.

“Isn’t that beautiful…” he whispered. “Aye, Jane?”

“…”

“Jane?”

“Huh?” Jane was pulled from his thoughts by Tavish, and he realized they had stopped. He looked out over the scenery and was awestruck, it truly was beautiful. From this high up the forests looked like little more than grass, and the steadily flowing river sparkled under the noonday sun.

“Oh wow… That's amazing.”

There was a bench placed a few feet away for hikers such as themselves, so they took a seat before getting started on lunch. Jane handed Tavish his own can of tuna and placed the box of crackers between them. Getting some food in his stomach and enjoying the view finally brought Jane back to reality.

He'd made a decision, he was going to tell Tavish how he felt. They were just so close, he trusted Tavish to accept him, regardless of what his feelings may be. He looked away from the scenery every so often to glance at Tavish. They had finished their food and were now just taking time to enjoy the view before heading back. Tavish was handsome as ever, but it was easier to admit that now that he new he was in love.

Tavish had one hand laid flat on the bench between them. Jane kept thinking about it sitting there, and about how he'd felt when he'd held Tavish's hand in his room all those month ago. If he tried it again now, it might make a good moment…

Jane's hand slid from his lap onto the bench, inching closer and closer to where Demo's hand lay. He got so close their pinkies were almost touching, but he couldn't go any farther. It was almost like initiating physical contact was harder now that he knew it didn't come from a purely platonic desire for closeness.

He sighed, leaning back farther into the bench, and decided to just focus on enjoying the view.

-

The walk back was refreshing, and a lot less stressful now that Tavish knew where he was going. It had taken all morning to get to the lookout and now it took all afternoon to get back, but Tavish was enjoying the time he got to spend with Jane. His friend still wasn’t very talkative, but it was better than nothing.

When they got back to camp, Tavish was determined to start a fire without Jane’s help. He started with the kindling and then the little sticks, learning from his previous mistakes. Soon, the small flame was burning brightly in the evening sunlight, and Tavish turned to Jane proudly.

The Soldier was still puttering around. He seemed lost in thought, just like he had that morning. Tavish wondered if it had to do with their conversation last night.

“Got somethin’ on your mind, lad?”

Jane jolted, he was consistently on edge while he waited for the right moment to confess.

“Oh I was just… wondering what we should have for dinner!” He exclaimed, trying not to sound too out of sorts. They wouldn't eat for another two hours, but Jane hoped it wasn't too bad of an excuse. “What do you think?” Jane held up a package of instant pasta in one hand and a can of chicken soup in the other.

“Chicken soup sounds good.”

There was definitely something up with Jane, but Tavish didn’t want to pry. The Soldier wore his heart on his sleeve anyways, and if something was bothering him he’d tell Tavish sooner or later.

“It’ll be a few hours before I’m hungry again, though. Is there anything you want tae do in the meantime?”

“Oh… Not really.” Jane shrugged. “I brought a deck of cards though if you want to play something.”

Tavish agreed to a game of cards, after all, there wasn't much else to pass the time with. They sat facing each other on the blanket by the fire. They played go fish for a while, and then moved on to a few games of war. As much as Jane tried to stay casual, his shoulders were tense and he couldn't stop staring at Demo. Tavish would look up and meet his eyes, causing Jane to flinch and look away. This wasn't 'being casual' at all.

Tavish wondered if Jane was suspicious after all. The thought made his stomach clench, and he had to resist the urge to go take a walk in the woods to calm his nerves. If Jane suspected him, the whole week would be ruined. Not only that, but their whole friendship, the thing they had fought so hard for, the reason that Tavish was glad to wake up in the morning, could go up in smoke. He struggled to keep his calm exterior up for the rest of the evening.

As the hours passed, the shadows grew longer and it became harder to see their game. Jane set up a flashlight so they could see their hands in the early autumn dusk. Finally, it was time for dinner, and Tavish revelled in the distraction.

They ate their food quietly; not unusual, but a stark contrast to last night. Why had their friendship and camaraderie suddenly evaporated? What had Tavish done wrong?

When they finished eating Jane was the one to clean the dishes, wanting a few moments alone to clear his head. With exaggerated motions he slowly scrubbed the bowls. He took as much time as possible, taking big breaths in through his nose and letting them hiss out through his teeth.

“Calm down, Soldier,” he muttered to himself, drying the bowls and spoons with a dishtowel.

When he went back to sit with Tavish, that's when he was going to make his move. He had to do it now, before the stress of waiting got the better of him.

With a few more seconds of calm breathing he walked back over to the blanket. Each step seemed to take forever, but finally he was back with Tavish, who was staring listlessly into the fire. He thought about asking him what was wrong, but he had already psyched himself up and he had to do this now. Gently and slowly he sat next to Tavish, much closer than they had been before. Jane gripped the blanket tightly in his hands.

“Tavish? There's…something I need to say.” His voice was so quiet, and laced with nervousness, but it was the best he could manage.

Demo didn’t want to jump to conclusions but all the signs were there. He managed a shaky grin.

“Sure, lad. What’s been eatin’ you?”

Jane’s mind moved a mile a minute. Ok, this is it, do it now. Jane was talking to himself inside his head, but his mouth wouldn't open, he couldn't form words. It's fine, calm down, time for plan B, Plan B? Yes, he would have to do something else, something less direct that words, but just as meaningful.

He grabbed Demo's hand with his own sweating one, and with all the courage he could muster Jane leaned over Tavish's lap, bringing their faces close together. He was going to kiss him, he could feel his breath just like that day all those months ago. He was there, this was _it_!

But just like all those months ago, he faltered just short of sealing the deal, collapsing backwards on himself and hiding his face in his hands.

“Oh shit… Oh God, shit I can't do this,” Jane panicked. Instead of fully revealing his feelings he'd just gone halfway, making things horribly awkward.

Tavish had no idea what the hell just happened. For a second, he could have sworn Jane was about to…

No, he must have misread that. He moved his hands, now sticky with Jane’s sweat, and looked over at his reddening friend.

“Jane? What the hell was that? Cannae do what?”

“Tavish I'm… I'm in love with you. I love you!”

It was such a relief to finally say it. It was like a dam had broken, and he suddenly couldn't stop talking.

“I was so confused for a long time,” Soldier bumbled, “but everything you said last night, that's how I feel about you! And I had to tell you, because it was going to drive my crazy otherwise. I know it's weird, I know I shouldn't, but I'm just hoping you might be willing to try being with me.”

His excitement suddenly faltered.

“I-I mean that is just wishful thinking, It's fine if you don't, I just want to stay friends. Please don't hate me Tavish, if this bothers you I promise I'll stop.” Tears pricked at Jane's eyes. “We can… Just pretend this never happened, but please don't leave me Tavish I need you.”

A small sob escaped him and he hunched over, wrapping his arms around himself. He was immediately regretting it, he couldn't look at Tavish, he just knew it was going to be bad.

Now…Tavish really didn’t know what was happening. His first instinct was to sooth the crying Jane, to tell him whatever was necessary to make him feel better, but this was…wrong. Had he heard that correctly? Did Soldier just say that he loved him?

“What? You…you dunnae like me Jane. You like girls. I know that about you.”

He _did_ know that about Jane. That was one of the founding principals, a core fact about his friend that had shaped his every perception of the man. He wasn’t faking, a fisherman always knows another fisherman, he was straight and there was nothing anyone could do about it. Nothing. Not a goddamned thing. This was wrong.

“Do I?” Jane cried, hunching his shoulders. “I told you Tavish I've never fallen in love before! I flirt with girls at bars because YOU flirt with girls at bars. It's just… it's just what you're supposed to do!”

Jane was crying harder now, and he was just so damn frustrated that Tavish was so quick to shut him down after spending all this time figuring things out.

“And it's not just love! I've never… I've never kissed a girl Tavish, I've never had sex!” Jane blushed from revealing so much, but he just had to get his point across. “I don't LIKE girls, and I don't like guys either. I just… I just like you.”

It was bizarre to have all the truth out in the open, so Jane just sighed and stared at the fire. He continued to sniffle, hot tears pouring down his cheeks.

Tavish understood Jane’s words, but he couldn’t make sense of any meaning beyond that.

“No you dunnae,” he repeated. “Why…”

Why was Jane saying that? Was he trying to trick Tavish, to make him reveal more about himself, to get him to hurt worse than he already was? But why? They had been so great together, they had never tried to hurt each other since they had seen that tape. But now Jane was saying things that hurt him worse than any rocket to the chest.

The only other explanation was that Jane loved him. Tavish thought to the days before the reunion, the words pansy faggot crawling through his ears like Jane had said them only seconds ago. No. That was impossible. And when you eliminate the impossible, all that remains is the truth.

“What are you trying to accomplish here?” Tavish demanded.

Jane sniffed harder. “I- I don't know.” This was a reaction he had never expected. He expected Tavish to get mad, hate him for what he said, but he didn't expect him not to believe it at all. “I guess… I thought there was a chance that telling you would make things between us… better. I should have known it would only come out worse.”

Jane wiped his eyes with his sleeve, but it didn't seem he would stop crying any time soon.

“You know me… Always screwing things up.”

All Tavish wanted to do was make Jane stop crying. Maybe that was part of it, some kind of emotional manipulation. Only he never thought Jane capable of that. Vicious maybe, but never cruel enough to plan something so malicious.

He stood, towering over Jane yet still feeling like the other man was tormenting him.

“Screwing up? Is that what you call this? Things were going so great, we were so…why are you doing this to me?” he couldn’t help but shout. He was loosing control of his voice; it was turning high and squeaking, the onset of tears apparent. “Are you doing this for some kind o’ revenge? You figure it out last night or somethin’? You’re willing tae do this tae me just because you think I’m some goddamned cross-dressing queer? “

Repeating the words burned his throat. His accusation didn’t make sense even to himself, but what other explanation was there?

“Tavish,” Jane sobbed, looking up as he towered over him. It took him a few seconds to remember the moment when he had sung those very words at Tavish. “I-I still hated you then! I wanted to hurt you! But I never actually thought that!” He scrambled backwards and rose to his feet, he was starting to feel scared.

“Please I… I don't know what you're thinking, everything I'm saying is just the truth.” He looked desperately into Demo's eyes. Jane's face quite close to resembling a kicked puppy, with puffy eyelids and thick tear tracks staining his face.

“I dunnae believe you,” Tavish growled.  
Soldier didn’t have any right to look afraid. It was _his_ fault. _He_ had attacked _Tavish_ , not the other way around, he had no right…  
Tavish’s hands balled into fists.  
“I dunnae believe you, you fuckin’ bastard!” he screamed. With that, he shoved Jane backwards, sending the other man sprawling.  
Tension twanged in every tendon in his body, burning worse than the hot tears flowing down his cheek. He stood over Jane once again, brutality written into his stance.

The fall hurt Jane more emotionally than anything. At least getting attacked was more the reaction Jane expected. He rolled over onto his hands and knees, and then pushed himself back to a stand.

“Ok,” Jane whispered breathlessly, running a hand under his nose. “I'll just… go.” He took a few steps backwards, retreating from Demo's rage and watching for any sign of attack. “I'll get my stuff early tomorrow… And I'll go.” Jane choked on tears. “I'm sorry for everything.”

He stumbled back, pulling out his flashlight and turning to face the woods. He left the campsite without another word, and when he was sure Tavish couldn't see him anymore he flicked on the light and broke into a run.

He ran as fast as he was able to though the dense underbrush, twigs stabbing into his shoes and branches swiping his face. He wasn't sure how long he'd been running when an old gnarled root caught his foot and sent him tumbling to the ground. For a few seconds he lay still, just catching his breath, but then the tears welled up again and he curled up against the nearby tree. It was fine, Jane was content to sit there all night and just cry, he couldn't stand to see the look of anger on Tavish's face anymore.

The night was especially chilly outside a tent and without a fire, so Jane pulled his knees to his chest and wrapped his arms around them, trying to keep himself warm.

Tavish still stood, staring at the spot where Jane had disappeared into the trees. Eventually, his fingers uncurled, but the tears didn’t stop.

Slumping to the ground, he held his sides as the sobbing took over him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well this chapter was actually far to long so it's in 3 parts. my bad!


	16. Chapter 16

Deep in the forest, Jane lay on his side, alone. From the extent the night's cold had sunk into his skin, he would guess he'd been sitting there for over an hour. His tears had slowed, but shivers wracked his body, and his fingers felt like ice where they touched his arms. It was not a particularly cold night, but after spending so much time living in the desert anything but blistering heat was quite a shock.

A twig snapped somewhere behind him and Jane jumped, looking around wildly. He reached for his flashlight and turned it back on, shining it into the forest. There was nothing there as far as he could see, but memories of the previous night surfaced, and a voice in his head whispered: _Sasquatch_.

He placed the light between his feet and curled his arms back around himself. The light and shadow cast from the flashlight was somehow soothing, and he hoped it could keep him company until morning.

* * *

Tavish sat in the now empty campsite. After a while, he was able to pull himself to a standing position and take a few teetering steps. The self-sufficiency was short lived. He didn’t get far before he had to sit down again, his body lost when his mind was in shambles.

He couldn’t process what had just happened. The only thing he could focus on was the hurt, the feeling that the Soldier had jammed something sharp and hard into his stomach and left him bleeding. It was like hearing Miss Pauling telling him the news. It was like seeing the gunboats for the first time. It was agony.

How had it come to this?

There was a replay button in his mind. Not of the video, but of the fight before it. He remembered how close to killing Soldier he’d been, how every awful memory boiled up at once. He remembered the words that made him snap.

The night dragged on for what seemed like hours, and he wasn’t sure what to do besides sit . The fire was dying, the moon was rising, but he didn’t want to sleep. He didn’t think he could ever relax again with all the misery he was going through. Why had Jane said those things? What could posses him to say he loved Tavish besides spite?

Unless…

As much as Tavish’s mind kept replaying the fight in the hallway where he’d nearly killed the Soldier, he couldn’t help thinking about the later night too. The one where Jane had screamed at him, beaten his fist against the wall and cried at Tavish about how he didn’t believe.

But he had, eventually. He had let Tavish hold him and sooth him until at last he believed. He trusted that Tavish had never meant to hurt him.

But Tavish had hurt him. He shoved him to the ground and sreamed at him and thrown his confession back in his face. The look of misery in Jane’s eyes…

Tavish looked up at the dark trees where his friend had disappeared. No, not his friend. The man he loved.

The man who might love him back. If Jane hadn’t been lying…

“Jane…” he called quietly into the dark.

Slowly, silent horror began to dawn on him. What…had he just done? He had promised Jane he would never hurt him, that he would protect him, that they would trust each other from now on. What had he _done_? No…

“No…” he repeated aloud. He jumped to his feet. “No no no no no!”

He burst into the forest at top speed, abandoning the campsite and any thought of preservation. The only thing of any value was out here, lost in the dark trees and running away from him.

“JANE! JANE COME BACK! PLEASE!” he screamed into the night. Jane was gone. Tavish had chased him away again. He was _gone_.

He couldn’t see anything in the shadows, and he fumbled for the flashlight Jane had given them the first night. Flipping it on, he returned to his desperate search. Finding the Soldier was the only thing that mattered anymore.

* * *

Tavish's guilt was overwhelmed by desperation. He had no idea where the campsite was anymore. Even by day he couldn’t find his way in the forest, and now that it was past midnight he was completely lost. Minutes slipped into hours as he followed every fruitless trail, tears still leaking down his cheek.

Jane’s name bounced of the reddened leaved, heard by no one but their caller. He had to respond if he heard. He had to. If he didn’t…

Tavish no longer had any idea what to do about anything. He had broken something beyond repair. And not just a sword or a particularly nice whiskey bottle, the most important thing in the world to him.

Tavish gripped at the bark of a tree, nausea overpowering him as he thought of Jane being shoved to the ground. Why had he done that? No amount of perceived insult was worth the abuse he had hurled at his best friend. When he managed to drag in a few breaths of the cold night air, he realized he was on the side of the mountain, looking down into the valley. No wonder the terrain had been so difficult, he had been unknowingly moving uphill.

Silently, he stared into the night. The view didn’t seem beautiful anymore, just dark and impossibly big. He was just about to move on to his search when something caught his eye. A campfire would display yellow light, and it would move erratically with the flames, but the light he was seeing wasn’t moving at all.

Which meant that it had to be a flashlight.

With no thought to the steep incline below him, Tavish stumbled off into the valley.

* * *

Jane tried closing his eyes for the tenth time. Maybe if he slept, this night would turn out to be a bad dream; he’d wake up in the tent, Tavish still a good few hours from consciousness, and they’d have another day to spend together.

Tavish hadn’t believed him. Of all the outcomes, he’d never considered this. Yet somehow it was worse because he’d thought that even if Tavish didn’t like the idea, he’d still thought the Demoman would have accepted the idea. Only he’d rejected it in the worst way possible, and Jane had no idea what to do. To think that he’d hoped Tavish might have returned his feelings. _Stupid, stupid._

Soldier honestly had no idea what to do. He’d said he’d return the next morning to grab his things, but the thought of seeing Tavish again was fulsome. Maybe he’d just stay right here. Forever. Never having to see or hear his friend again.

All that was washed away when he heard the stirring in the forest. He gripped his light, struggling to his feet as searched for the incoming Sasquatch. So, when Demo stepped into the light of his flashlight, Jane didn't know how to respond. Maybe he was dreaming inside the tent after all, or maybe Tavish had come to yell at him even more.

But, when he looked into Tavish's eye, the anger was gone. He was still crying, and Jane could see he was filled with sadness and regret. Did Jane dare to hope Tavish had realized he was telling the truth?

Either way he had to get up, he rose to his feet stiffly, his joints aching from the cold and cramped position. He pressed his back to the tree and didn't dare move or speak. Instead he just stared at Tavish and willed him to get whatever it was over with.

Tavish knew he deserved no less than Soldier’s contempt, but the look of terror Jane was giving him made him want to crawl into a ball right there and never get back up again. He wanted to run up to him, to hold him steady like the last time they had cried together. Only that would make things worse. He was rooted to the spot, hand shaking so that the light of the flashlight trembled on the man before him.

“I’m sorry,” he managed to croak out. “I’m so sorry. I never…I never thought you could love me. I’m so sorry, Jane.”

Tavish didn’t know what else he could say. At his words, Jane’s eyes softened, the relief detectable even in the weak light. He took a few steps closer to the frozen Demoman.

Tavish flinched. He felt like he didn’t deserve forgiveness, not so soon. He needed to explain himself. “But you do, dunnae you? You really meant that? I…I’m sorry couldnae accept it. I spent so long thinkin’ you could never love me back, that when you said it I couldn’t…I dinnae mean tae. I shouldnae have done those things I did.”

“Back?” Jane murmured, his mind slowed by the deep chill, “What… What do you mean?”

It was impossible for him to understand what Tavish was saying. As clear as the words were, he too could never believe he might be loved back. The night was cold and he continued to shiver, but he didn't want Tavish to think it was because he was afraid.

The guilt hardened into a tiny ball trying to escape the Demoman’s throat. Maybe he should leave. He shouldn’t try to seek forgiveness from Jane, he should just accept that he was unredeemable and move on. Only that was a cowards explanation for why he wanted to leave: he couldn’t say it. He couldn’t make those words move past his lips. He had been hiding it for so long…

“I…” he tired.

God. Why was this hard? Why was it so hard to say something so true? Tavish tucked his free hand under his arm, trying to disappear on himself.

“I love you too.”

Jane could hardly believe what he was hearing, but after all the emotional torment they had just endured there was no more reason to lie. Those words he'd never even hoped of hearing, there they were.

With no time lost, he walked up to Tavish, sliding his arms around his waist and burying his face into Tavish's shoulder. The hug was returned instantly, hesitant, yet warm and familiar. It felt good to be home.

“It's ok Tavish, I forgive you,” he sighed into his shoulder. A few fresh tears leaked out of his eyes, but they were only caused by the intense feeling of relief that washed over him.

They stood there in the forest for a long time, holding each other and letting the hug say what the words could not. Tavish ran his hand through Jane’s hair, massaging his scalp and pressing his nose into the short cut. His mouth was pressed to Jane’s temple; not quite a kiss, but a soft tickle along his lips as he let out a gentle breath.

Tavish wasn’t sure how long it had been when his tears stopped flowing. He leaned back slightly, looking at Jane with both relief and longing. Even as he considered saying “I love you” again, a sudden mosquito bite along his neck jerked him back to reality. He lowered his hand from Jane’s back to his hand, locking their fingers together like they were made for each other.

Smiling wryly, he said, “I hope you know how tae get back tae camp, ‘cause I have no fuckin’ idea where we are.”

Jane laughed, wiping the last stray tear from the corner of his eye with his free hand.

“I think so. All that woodsman’s intuition.” Jane squeezed Tavish's hand and started to pull him along through the trees.

* * *

It took them about twenty-five minutes to get back to camp, and they held hands the whole way. It was as if they both feared releasing the other would shatter whatever kind of wonderful dream they had stumbled in to. Tavish had left the fire burning in his panic, and it had smouldered down into a pile of glowing coals.

Jane tugged Tavish's hand and lead them over to the fire pit. They chilled from their time out in the woods, but the coals were warm enough to give him some relief.

Regretfully, Tavish let go of Jane’s hand to help him build up the fire. It was an odd sort of ache, doing work when all he really wanted to do was curl up against him. When it was built up to a reasonable blaze again, Tavish wasted no time in yanking his friend into another hug. They sat down on the blanket with a WUMPF, practically intertwined with each other. To think, it was only a few hours ago in this exact spot they had sat side by side in dark silence, barely willing to touch each other.

They had held each other close, slept next to one another, and pressed into one another for comfort, but none of that compared to how they embraced now. This was because they loved each other. They were in love. _They were in love_ . No matter how many times Tavish thought it, it still seemed so inconceivable.

After a while, he realized he had been staring at the fire without really looking. He ran his thumb along Jane’s arm, taking in every detail about him.

“So…” Tavish began. “I think we should talk.”

“Yeah… That makes sense.” Jane had warmed up considerably, both from the fire and the heat of Demo's body pressed next to him. He'd leaned his head onto Tavish's chest, and absentmindedly fiddled with the hem of his shirt. He loved every little caress Tavish would give him, and savoured the feeling of his fingers tracing gently over exposed skin.

It was still surreal, and felt somehow so much more intimate than every other time they had spent in each other's arms. Perhaps it was that they were no longer in fear of having the other find out their secret, they could now be openly affectionate, knowing that affection would be returned.

“What exactly should we talk about?” Even though he knew it was what they should do, all Jane could focus on were Tavish's hands on him, he couldn't think of anything that needed to be said.

“I still dunnae understand how all this happened,” Tavish questioned. “I was so sure you were straight. You were always so good with the ladies we picked up…you said you’ve never kissed a girl before?”

It was all so strange. The only thing that Tavish could think of was that something had changed about Jane, and he felt a twinge of guilt. He didn’t want to be responsible for Jane being a social outcast like him.

Jane flushed, embarrassed that Tavish was bringing up the things he had admitted only a few hours ago.

“There's no reason for me to lie about something like that…” Jane sputtered. “I had a lot of fun with the women at the bars, but just for the drinking, and the talking. I never really felt anything for them… Never wanted to kiss one.”

Jane sighed. He had forgotten that he was supposed to only like girls, but being in love with Tavish meant that obviously wasn’t true.

“I'm not straight I guess. I don't really know what I am, that part is still confusing.” He looked down at where he was tugging at Tavish's shirt, feeling suddenly quite shy. “I just love you Tavish, I have for a while now. I've never felt this way about anyone else.”

Tavish felt hot bashfulness run up his neck. It wasn’t exactly a complement, but he felt flattered in a way he never had before. He finished running his finger’s over Jane’s arm, and instead put a firm hand on his back.

“A while now, eh? When did you know?”

Tavish stopped, realizing how conceited that sounded.

“I mean,” he bumbled, “I only ask ‘cause it feels like I’ve loved you forever. All the way back to before the War, that night when you climbed that statue and I thought you were the stupidest, most fantastic person in the world and I just wanted to-”

He cut himself off, realizing he was gushing.

Jane flushed darker. That long? To think he'd spent so much time, miserable and lonely, when Tavish had been in love with him since not long after they'd met…

“It's hard to figure out when exactly, but it started after we found out the War was a ruse… And I wasn't really sure until last night.”

Jane pulled back slightly, fighting bashfulness so he could look at Tavish and talk face-to-face.

“I guess I really knew my feelings were different that day when we thought we were going to have to run. We were sitting on my bed, and we got so close I just… I felt so good in that moment, but I didn't understand why I wanted what I wanted, so I just freaked out and ran away. I hadn't really gotten over feeling like there was something wrong with liking you that way.”

He took a deep breath, and looked right into Tavish's eyes.

“I promise though that doesn't matter to me anymore, you are more important to me than anything.”

“I dunnae what my promises are good for, seein’ the way I acted tonight,” Tavish mumbled, embarrassed, “but I still want tae promise the same thing. You’re the whole world tae me. And, as long as we’re out o’ judgmental eyes, there’s nothin’ wrong with us as far as I can tell.”

With one hand, Tavish left a caress along Jane’s jaw line and held it there. Jane had mentioned their last night before their planned escape, and it seemed to all make sense now. Their faces were close together, even more than now, and he could practically feel Jane’s breath on his lips…

Jane had jumped away, but he wouldn’t now. Carefully, Tavish pulled him slightly closer. He stopped, waiting to see if Jane wanted this or not.

His heart was pounding in his throat, but Jane knew there was no longer anything to fear. He gripped Tavish's collar in one hand, lifting his head so their noses brushed, lips slightly parted. Looking into his eye, Tavish's intentions were clear. Jane wanted this so bad, he'd wanted it since the night they were going to run, wanted to know what it would feel like to be that close.

“Tavish,” he breathed, words ghosting over their lips. The watery, desperate gaze Jane gave him was as close to begging as he could get.

Tavish closed the last couple inches.

It was like no kiss he had ever experienced before, because this was something he wanted . He wanted Jane’s lips on his, slow, careful, gently running his tongue over Jane’s bottom lip. If he hadn’t already cried himself out, there might have been tears of joy. One hand on Jane’s back, the other on his jaw, he held onto that kiss for dear life.

Jane gripped Tavish's collar like a vice. The kiss was more than they could have ever hoped for, it was gentle and loving, but still so desperate after all the time they had spent longing for each other. Jane tried to kiss Tavish back properly my imitating his movements, but his head was spinning and he couldn't think straight.

Jane was everything Tavish had ever wanted out of love, he was wild and joyous and fun, and now was Tavish’s. And Tavish was his. They belonged to each other now, but maybe they always had.

Eventually Tavish pulled back, and Jane's eyes blinked open. He wasn't ready to stop, and he pulled Tavish hard by the collar so their mouths mashed back together. Jane threw his arms around Demo's neck, leaning back onto the ground and letting Tavish crawl over him. God he loved this, having their mouths pressed together while Tavish hovered over him. He could feel the heat radiating from his body, and it made Jane feel warm too.

This is what heaven must be like. Tavish never wanted to stop, he wanted to just wrap himself in Jane forever, forcing out the autumn chill with their combined body heat. It was difficult to breath, his mouth pressed against Jane’s and his nose often smushed against his cheek, and whenever he surfaced for air Jane just pulled him back down again.

If he suffocated, that would be just fine. He couldn’t think of a better way to die.

The orange light from the fire sent intoxicating shadows across their bodies, dulling under a lack of care. Jane and Tavish didn’t bother this time, and let it burn down to mere embers. Eventually, the moon began to set, and Tavish could no longer ignore how late it had become. He settled for peppering kisses along Jane’s jaw and neck, breathing out a sigh in disbelief. How did he get so lucky? He could feel Jane’s hand on the back of his head, running softly through his hair. There was also Jane’s heartbeat, still rapid from their furious kissing, but slowly slowing in time with Tavish’s. They seemed to beat as one.

Jane didn't want their evening together to end, but exhaustion crept at he consciousness and they had to go into the tent at some point. He continued running his fingers through Tavish's hair and down his back, trying not to twitch from the tickle of lips on his neck.

“Tavish, we should probably go to bed,” Jane said, gently pushing him up so they could both sit upright again. A yawn overtook him suddenly, and it was only then he realized how much the emotional rush along with his run through the forest had taken out of him.

They were both a bit disappointed to stop, but certain things had to be done. Tavish set to work on dousing the remains of the fire while Jane changed out of his clothes, which had gotten dirty during his tumble to the forest floor. They entered their sleeping bags much the same as every night.

But this wasn’t like every night, Jane realized suddenly. One hand fiddled with his sleeping bag while the other scratched the back of his neck. “These sleeping bags zip together,” Jane mentioned awkwardly from his side of the tent. “I sleep better when I'm right next to you… I actually stole one of your shirts at the base so I could sleep with it,” he admitted, turning red even in the dark. “I'll give it back though, now that I have you instead.”

“You…stole one of my shirts?” Tavish propped himself up on one elbow. “That’s a little weird, Jane.”

It was also a little funny, the strangeness of the night making Tavish feel giddy. He chuckled, reaching out to where he knew Jane’s head was and giving his hair a little ruffle. Together, they re-zipped up the sleeping bags so that they could lie side-by-side in the cramped tent.

“You want tae be the wee spoon or the big spoon?”

“Do I want to be a what?” Jane grumbled, brows furrowing. The phrase was completely lost on him. “Where do you get off on calling me a utensil?”

Tavish chuckled. “ ‘S figure of speech. I’ll show you.”

He wrapped one arm around Jane, pulling the other man toward his chest. He put his head on Jane’s shoulder so he could whisper right in his ear.

“See, now you’re the wee one, ‘cause you’re on the inside. And I’m the big one, ‘cause I’m cuddlin’ you. We fit together like. Like spoons.”

“Oh,” Jane said dumbly, Tavish's breath on his ear making him shudder. “I think it's good like this.”

He snuggled closer, pulling the top of the sleeping bag up to his nose. This was definitely better than the time Tavish had fallen asleep on top of him.

“G'night Tav,” Jane yawned, his eyelids drooping for a moment before falling closed.


	17. Epilogue

The rest of the week passed differently than the first two nights. They didn’t leave the campsite so much, instead opting to lay by the fire or in the tent for long stretches of time, cuddling and laughing about what idiots they both were. Eventually, they got back into the swing of things; hiking and exploring all that Yosemite had to offer.

When the trails were level, they would hold hands when they walked, and whenever they stopped to rest, they sat with arms over each other’s shoulders. It was amazing, like some sort of idyllic honeymoon period Tavish never wanted to end.

Only it would have to. Their week off was coming to a close in a few days, and Tavish struggled to stave off the gloomy cloud.

“ ‘S a real shame,” he told Jane one night, his friend on his chest while they laid against a tree. “We only just got done havin’ tae hide our friendship, and now when we go back, we’re goin’ tae have tae start hidin’ this .”

“It's not so bad,” Jane shrugged, running a hand down Demo's thigh. “We don't have to be this close all the time, I'm just happy knowing you love me back. And it's not like we can't still do this, we can meet up in my room in the evenings, or find a spot at the new base no one ever goes to.” He sighed. “We will find a way Tav, you can count on it.”

Jane leaned his head back a little further, and Tavish wrapped his arms around him, It always made him feel so safe. A part of Jane was still ready to believe the whole thing had been a dream, only this time it was a good one, and any moment now he would wake up on the train headed to Yosemite. But it was much too real to be a dream. He still had to keep telling himself that.

“I love you so much Tavish,” Jane said for the hundredth time that week. After getting past that first tongue tie he couldn't say it enough. He was worried Tavish might somehow forget, so he just said it every time he could.

“Aye, but I love you more.” It was the sappy, sweet sort of thing to say Tavish had picked up from every romance novel he had read. But it felt right somehow, a script to follow, like saying vows at a wedding.

And, despite himself, he shared Jane’s optimism. There was time. Eventually, the robots would defeated and they would have to find some other way to be together, but for now, they could drink up there stolen time like it was forbidden fruit.

* * *

Just like that their vacation was over.

Jane and Tavish were slow at packing up the campsite, both were not in any rush to leave. Eventually though, the sun was high in the sky, and if they didn't get going they’d miss the bus into town. They walked hand-in-hand down the dirt road, packs much lighter since they had eaten all the food.

Regretfully, they let each other go when they reached the main part of the park. Demo returned the camping gear and got his security deposit back. It was unusual, but it seemed they had been too absorbed in each other to commit their usual amount of property damage. They headed out to the entrance of the park where the bus into town would arrive.

There weren't many other people out camping this time of year, so the bus was really almost empty. When they sank into their seats Jane slid his hand back into Tavish's, people were so absorbed in their own lives it would be easy for them to find some quiet moments to be together.

As much as Tavish wanted to stare at Jane, the hand-holding was enough. Instead, he looked out the window, gently rubbing his thumb over Jane’s hand as though he might forget he was there.

The rent-a-car was easy to find, Tavish’s sense of adventure not keen enough to try hitchhiking. With no gear to speak of, they were on their way, the sun casting long shadows across the highway. As they started their brief drive north, Tavish let his hand rest between them, knowing Jane wouldn’t take long to hold it again. Sure enough, he felt Soldier’s rough fingers lace through his own, and Tavish brought them up for a kiss.

The knuckles had long ago healed, multiple respawns and the medigun erasing any evidence of their first night as friends. Scars weren’t necessary, the Demoman could remember enough on his own.

Jane smiled when he felt Demo press a kiss to his knuckles. He'd noticed even more this week how fond Tavish was of giving small tokens of affection. Jane was staring out the window, watching the hills and trees fly by. As much as he was sad to end their trip, Jane itched to get his hands back on his rocket launcher and start blowing things up again. His love for his job was second only to his love for Tavish.

“We should visit your mom next time,” Jane said out of nowhere. “I was so excited about this week I was a little selfish. She probably wants to visit with you too.” He turned to look at Tavish seriously. “And I'd like to meet her. Even if she can't know about us, she is still important to me, because she's important to you.”

“That’s very sweet o’ you tae offer, Jane. And, like I said before, she’d probably love you,” the Demoman grinned.

He looked down at Jane’s knuckles again, and then back out to the road.

“Maybe, she might even like you enough that I could…try tae explain some things tae her,” he added absently.

Jane squeezed his hand in reassurance. Tavish didn’t have to look over to know Jane was smiling.

This job had brought them so much hell. It had brought them together and torn them apart. They had faced robots, wizards, skeletons, and each other, and had still come out the other side with what was most important. But that was their past.

Now, they had a future. One that still contained blood and carnage mind you, but a future worth looking forward to. (The blood and carnage might actually be a bonus.) They had hope. They had friends. They had each other. And it made them more indestructible any ubercharge ever could.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well there it is! thank you so much for those that came along for the ride, we really appreciate being having fun with us!


End file.
